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Despite my earlier cry of doom(1), here is the third Postcard From Moscow, whether you want it or not (Pat!).
Disregard my claims of Ultimate Depression, the Raven's Wings lifted last night and things are not as bad as they appeared on Monday. Life still stinks sometimes, but never mind.
Work is progressing smoothly, no real troubles. We have found ways around most of our communications problems so that's OK. We are testing most of the routines now (strange idea, I know but it's a new concept which I am trying out) and I have a few things to code before the Walsh Western influx at the end of the week.
What have I been doing the past week in Moscow? Much the same as before. Work most days, staying late as usual. Nightclubs at the weekend (I'm too old and tired to go clubbing during the week these days). Spending far too much money.
What is Moscow like to live in? OK, I suppose, much the same as any other place, but with a few differences.
When you go into the Subways or Metro you often are entertained by buskers, perhaps classical violinists or cellists, people playing Classical Guitar, solos singing arias, that sort of thing. Makes a difference from a tramp with a harmonica. Sometimes you get people singing western pop songs, or rather rock songs, these are funny because they don't always know the words and often substitute lyrics which sound right but are meaningless drivel (like many rock/pop songs, so that's OK too).
The people in Moscow can be very rude. Many a time I have asked for directions and been brushed off. It's not just me either. Ask Pat about getting directions to Sally O'Brien's and he'll confirm what they are like.
Sometimes you can walk through the streets of Moscow and be hit by the stench of benzene fuel - this is a truly sickening smell (if I can smell it, things must be bad) no wonder the people of Russia have an appalling life expectancy.
The Russian for three is "tree", so it reminds me of Ireland.
Communications are dreadful over here. We have loads of trouble establishing links to our Warehouse (30 miles away), the office only has 1 outside line, it is almost impossible to get a fax through to us (Don) and even sending an email takes me on average 3 or 4 attempts. To think that I used to moan when AOL went down after an hour downloading a suite of programs. I sent some letters and postcards which have taken nearly a month to arrive, this was worrying me as one of the letters was for a tax rebate with my P60 enclosed - not the best thing to lose, but it should be OK now.
The language barrier is slowly coming down, I can understand more than I can speak (but I can't speak English very well either, so what's new) and I find that I can read enough Russian to navigate around Moscow and get by in shops. I am slowly learning to write, but not very well. I am going to have to start taking lessons, even though I have been saying this for a month now.
What else is there?
There is a TV programme over here that even I won't watch (I didn't think I would ever say that). It's a programme on the murders and accidents in Moscow. They go around with a camera and find all the accident sites and murder locations and film the results. There is a reward for information on any good accidents or murders so they can get there before things are cleared up. The camera crew are quite into close-ups apparently and love to show every gruesome detail. Sometimes the victim has been too badly damaged to recognise, so they get the passport and show it next to the victim, sort of a "Before and After" shot. This is too bad even for me and I haven't yet watched it. Maybe I'll catch the omnibus edition which shows the best of the deaths over the last week, but I don't think so, somehow.(2)
There are quite a few murders in Moscow, usually of prominent businessmen or people engaged in shady deals. Fortunately, I am not a prominent anything, and leave shady deals to other people in the organisation. Still, it's not always a safe place to live. Certain nightclubs have a scanner on the entrance where people are stopped and their knives and guns are put in a safe place for them to pick up later. Seems no worse than Coventry, though.
Oh yeah, I've started buying shiny knives again. It started with a flick knife (too big for a concealed weapon, though) and I have my eye on a little stiletto-style flick knife that I saw a few days ago. There are also a couple of sabres I wouldn't mind having. Don't worry, the doctors said I was cured............
What else can I bore you with?
Health - I've had a stinking cold for the past two weeks, no surprises there, and managed to pick up a stomach bug on Thursday which stayed around all weekend adding a nice touch to going to clubs. I tried starving myself at the weekend but got nothing but grief over it so I had to eat something. As I was not choosing the menus, I had to eat a platter of seafood on Saturday - an inspired choice, as I found out half way through eating it. Did you know that crab, mussels, oysters and shrimp manage to turn themselves into a slick paste as soon as you've eaten them? Easy in, easy out as I soon found out. Not very nice. I hope that you are eating lunch when reading this!
Had a lousy weekend, everything I tried to do went belly-up. Every restaurant I went to, bar one, had problems, the nightclubs were on the whole crap, my Credit Cards kept not working, but suddenly worked again at certain banks/restaurants, I even had a taxi driver who couldn't find where I wanted to go, even though I pointed out where it was and he charged me 100,000 Rbles (12 IEP) for a 10 minute journey. Add to that having a couple of viruses and not being on my own and you get the picture. Another weekend like that and I'll be a goner.
Oh yeah, and to top it all the previous tenant left an unpaid telephone bill for $600 which I only found out about when my phone got cut off on Monday evening/Tuesday morning. This put me in an even better mood. What else can go wrong? I could be mugged, I suppose.........
I went to a few more clubs at the weekend, most of them were crap for what they were supposed to be.
I tried out a few more bars as well, but I wont bore you with them. If anyone comes over, I'll show them the best places over a weekend. Who knows, I may even try some other new places out.
Some people have been asking if I've found a Russian girl yet - especially as the Walsh Western rumour mill has been working overtime. Her name is Rita, she likes the Hungry Duck (as she is a "Rock Chick"), she thinks that Moscow is "Crayzee", that I am "Crayzee" (not wrong there), that Moscow people are "mafia", that I should see a doctor because of my cough (where have I heard that one before), that I should "learn Russian or we are finished" (although she's been saying this for weeks) she has a knack of making money disappear (which irks me as I am a tight bugger) and is always complaining that I have "small money". We met in the Hungry Duck the first night I went there (a place not renowned for relationships lasting more than a couple of hours) and she has been phoning me most evenings. Is it my rugged good looks, my simmering sex appeal or the fact that I am a westerner with more money than the average Russian - fortunately, I am under no illusions on this score. Still, it keeps me happy-ish.
I think that's about all for the moment - you see, a boring Postcard From Moscow, perhaps the Raven's Wings are still beating after all. Next week will be better.
In any case, I'll be popping over towards the middle/end of August.
That's enough for now, the batteries on Brian's PC are about to run out. Shame it has to go back when he comes over on a "business" trip.
See Ya
Simon Phipp
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[2]Well, I've seen it. Rimma(4) likes to watch it in the evening when she is around, just so she can tut and say how awful it is. Actually it is pretty bad stuff. The worst are the car crashes as they interview people who survived and are still covered in blood, before the paramedics take them away. I kid you not. The assasinations are almost as bad but you don't see as many of these.
[3]One of my Signatures, in the days that I nothered to use them. You must remember Alf - cute little alien with a truly inspired sense of sarcasm "I'm so happy I could make a spot on the carpet". One of my heroes, is Alf, along with Al Bundy, SledgeHammer! and Jim from Taxi (I have a theory that people above, say, 25 know Christopher Lloyd as "Jim from Taxi" whereas people below 25 know him as "The Doctor from Back to the Future". People who are old don't know who he is anyway.) Having heroes like these explains an awful lot about me.
[4]This may cause some confusion - her name is Rimma but she sometimes calls herself Rita as it is more glamorous - I hadn't the heart to tell her that Rita is about as glamourous as Edna or Ethel. Russians sometimes write their ms as ts when doing joined-up (for those who are not English, "joined-up" means cursive or script handwriting as opposed to printed handwriting - I know that Americans say "cursive" and wouldn't understand anything outside their normal vocabulary). So Rimma becomes Ritta. Well, there you go, another amazing fact you wished you didn't know.
Alf on eavesdropping "You crawl under people's houses, you hear things"(3)
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Notes
[1]For some reason I had been in a black depression all week and had mailed people saying that there woudn't be a Postcard that week. Fortunately things got better later on and there was.