You're a Redneck If ...

Your wife's hairdo was once ruined

by a ceiling fan.

You go to your family reunion

looking for a date.

You think a Volvo is part of a woman's anatomy.

Lottery Fever

=--=

A Redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Austin to

claim it

and the man verifies his ticket number. The Redneck says, "I want my

$20

million."

The man replied, "No, sir. It doesn't work that way. We give you a

million

today and then you'll get the rest spread out for the next 19 years."

The Redneck said, "Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it

and I want

it."

Again, the man explain that he would only get a million that day and

the rest

during the next 19 years.

The Redneck, furious with the man, screams out, "Look, I want my

money! If

you're not going to give me my $20 million right now, then I want my

dollar

back!"