And now, the story continues.
"Holy shit!" Deadpool yelled as he re-appeared from his teleportation. "Whoever made this thing is a genious! God, I feel like I did that time Vanessa and I did it in the back of that police car. A teleporter that gives you an orgasm instead of turning your stomach inside out! Brilliant!"
After taking a few more seconds to enjoy his trip Wade decided to finally look at where he sent himself.
"Oooooh yeah."
I said, Wade decided to take a look at where he sent himself.
"Anybody got a cigarrette?"
WADE!
"What?"
The story.
"Oh! Right."
Again, Wade decided to take a look at where he sent himself.
"Kinda Dark in here." He said as he threw a large, breaker box type, of switch that illuminated the entire lair. Computer screens lit up as their hard drives began booting their systems. More lights lit in sequence one after the other, like dominos falling down but, ya know,it's lights turning on. The lights showed off trophy cases and such. Some containing suveniers of past jobs while other held costumes that were specialised to differnt environments or jobs. There was a whirring sound, followed by a click and a vault like door opening.
"Moneymoneymoney!" Deadpool shouted in euphoria as he rushed in to play Uncle Scrouge and swim through his other self's loot. Unfortunately, he found that there was no pile of dollar bills or gold coins to toss in the air and rool around naked in.
"There go my plans for tonight."
One side was row after row of little safe deposit looking boxes and on the other was row after row of high-tech and some even alien looking weaponry. It wasn't money but, as far as Deadpool was concerned, it was the only thing in the world that was better then money.
"I'm in loooove!!! Between that teleporter and these guns, I'm gonna have to change my Scooby-Doo Underoos!"
I doubt the audience wanted to hear that.
"Hey, I'm the sharing type!"
Some people have the uncanny ability to look at a bird and tell you the species, sex and about a bazillion other things about the bird, most of which you could care less about. Others can do the same with artists or cars or whatever. In Deadpool's case, it's guns. Well, guns and porn but, right now guns are what we are concentrating on. Wade sat himself down and set to work. He took each gun down, examining it, checking the site, and taking each apart and putting it back together until he had every bit of the gun commited to memory. Granted, he hummed little songs and talked to himself a whole lot. After all this is Deadpool and if he was quiet, we would all have reason to be afraid. Very afraid.
It was hours until Wilson stood up, his studies done for the evening.
"I hate when my ass falls asleep! Then it spreads and I can't feel the boys anymore, 'cept for the tingly feeling. Not the good one either. That's when you know you've been sitting in one place for too long. It's not natural for those to be numb!"
Wade looked at the safe deposit looking boxes.
"You're a callin' me out, are ya?" Wade asked the boxes.
They didn't answer.
"Mocking me are ya? Well, I'll show you!!"
Amongst the rest of the weapons cache was as a sizable supply of explosives. Wade liberally used them apon the boxes and stood behind the safe door. I think he used too much.
"You can never use too much!"
You're going to blow up the entire 'DeadLair'.
"Are not."
Are too!
"Are not!"
Are too!
"Not!"
Too!
Thankfully, our stupid arguement was stopped when the aswering machine picked up. Apparently, this world's Deadpool had turned the ringer off of his phone.
"Wade, honey, it's me 'Nessa. Look baby, I'm running late and may not be home at all tonight. You know how the life of a model can be. Especially, one that can be every man's wildest dream. I'll make it up to you, I promise. Don't make any plans for tomarrow or the next day! You won't be going anywhere! I bought a few surprises some of it won't be on long and the other is made of stainless steel and you know how wet I get when that cold metal is tight on my skin. Oooh, I'm not going to be able to finish working if I keep this line of thought up. See you soon, stud. I love you, my husband." She ended her message with a kissing sound over the phone.
"He's married to Vanessa. MY Vanessa. Copycat. He's got the perfect face. Apparently, he's got tons of money since he can afford this place and all those wonderful toys. I need files, records, something. What else does this mook got that I ain't got!"
It seemed that something in Wade Wilson may have begun to crack. A part in his head at the verge of snapping. All joking and goofing aside, Wade Wilson has never been happy with his life. He was young and in his prime when he discovered that he had cancer. He was finally begining to make a name for himself as a hired merc. He had a girl that would do anything for him and too him. The money hadn't started rolling in yet but, it was the only time that Wade can remember being truly happy. Then came 'The Big C'. Wade let his world shatter around him. He grew abusive towards Vanessa. He botched jobs and was almost killed on several occasions. He started to become dangerous. He took any suicide job that came his way. Eventually, this ultra-secret program in Canada hired Wade. They promised him a cure for the cancer and all he had to do was agree to let them try. It was a torturous experience. No one really knows what happened and Deadpool refuses to talk about it. Even to me! Still, he got the cure. No more cancer and a healing factor to boot! A bitching extra in his line of work, especially since he had become an adreniline junkie and developed a love for the suicide runs.
Unfortunately, there was the downside. The ultra-secret program messed up his head pretty good. Wade was more unstable and unhinged then ever. And seemed to enjoy it. It destroyed his former good looks, giving him a skin complection much akin to over cooked meat. He never bother to look for Vanessa, feeling she would never accept him how he was now. In fact, he pretty much withdrew from society for a while. Sticking to Black Ops work and taking the code-name Deadpool. It was quite some time later that Deadpool started to be heard from again. His penchant for running his motor mouth got in the way for his silent missions. Still, he was one of the best and most sought after mercenaries. There was no job that he wouldn't do.
Then he met her. A woman. She was kind to him and for a little while Wade thought that if she could treat him like a normal person then maybe he could live a normal life. To impress the woman, Deadpool took to more heroic deeds. Most of it went sour. Lots of innocents were killed by both Deadpool and the baddy he was chasing. Wade figured that they shouldn't of been in the line of fire. The woman felt differntly. More so when one of those innocents was her.
The woman's name was Vannessa. She had shape-shifting powers. A gold star to those that figured out she's the same one from up above. Wade didn't know it was her at first. She's a shape-shifter, duh! Still, it was a huge blow and at the time more then Wade could take.
Deadpool disapperaed. Literally. No one heard from him or saw him for at least two years.
Then he returned! Mouth running full speed and guns spitting out bullets as fast as their little muzzles would send them. Deadpool seemingly bounced back from all his trauma and was the fun loving merc we all knew and loved once again.
He wasn't healed. He just buried all the baggage deep inside so he didn't have to deal with it any more.
Wade sat at a computer. Seems his other-self on this world is also alot more organised. He kept a complete database of all his activites, jobs, and important events.
"He's everything."
Huh?
"He's everything. He's every FUCKING THING! All that I wanted to be, he is! He's not living job to job, he's a mother fucking billionare! He doesn't scrub urinals to pay his bar tab, he owns the goddamn bar! He didn't play the hero, he was a hero! He saved the world from some alien threat. The whole planet was asleep and the aliens were just gonna waltz in and take over but, he stopped them. I could never of done that. He didn't kill Vanessa! He married her! FUCKING MARRIED!!!! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!?!? EVERYTHING!!!!!!"
Deadpool grabbed the keyboard and smashed it shouting and screaming. He hurled the monitor through a couple of the display cases, smashing them and the screen. He over turned tables, spilled various chemicals and solutions. He hurled a chair at the breaker box, taking out all of the lights, save for the small emergency light. Sitting in the shadows thrown by the small light, was Deadpool on the floor.
Wade, are you ok?
"Leave me alone."
Questions or Comments?