Deadpool yelled as the door closed behind him and the small sound of the locks setting could be barely heard.

"Geez, it's not like I went and put the pictures out on the internet or something! Ok, so that's just because I didn't have the chance to finish designing the web page but, that's besides the point! She's famous now, you'd think she would be used to people trying to get skin pics of her! Next thing I know she'll probably have that gimp boyfriend of her's babysit me! Dunno what's wrong with that kid, been glaring daggers at me since he got here! Don't think I've killed anyone he's related to. Not yet anyway. I haven't even touched Nyra yet, not from lack of trying, what's he got to be so pissed about?!"

Deadpool pulled off his mask and tossed it aside as he walked to the refrigerator. He opened it and carefully studied the contents. "Geez, I really gotta get out of this place more often. When the hell was the last time I stocked the fridge? I think some of this stuff was here when I moved into this room! I'm pretty sure that green thing in the back is starting it's own colony."

Pulling his head out of the fridge, Deadpool looked around his pigsty.

"Hey!"

Deny it.

"Grumble."

Anyway, looking around his disaster area he found that it was in a similar state to the fridge. Not that it had green things trying to establish territory but, it was an incredible unorganized mess. Not food things thankfully but, clothes and papers as well as various gun related things. Full clips. Partially full clips. Empty clips and shell casings. Pieces to guns and such.

"Suppose that I could clean up while I'm stuck in here. Yeah right!"

Deadpool laughed as he collapsed onto the couch and picked up the television remote and began to rapidly flip through the channels.

"This hand of mine glows with an awesome power!" said the voice on the TV. "It tells me to destroy you! SHINING FINGER!"

"Ya know," Deadpool said, "no matter how many times I hear that it still sounds dirty! "

Flip.

Flip.

Flip.

Flip.

After passing through every channel several times Deadpool sighed.

"You know, I'm really beginning to wish that I hadn't loaned out all of my good lesbo porn. Oh well, had to establish good relations. Or something. Maybe next time she'll take my suggestion and come in and watch it with me! That would be great! Sooner or later the hormones would take over and I would actually get a piece! Oh yeah, the ladies on the screen would be screaming! She would be screaming! Hell, I would probably even be screaming it's been so long!" he sighed. "Oh well, this train of thought's only going to lead to a calloused hand and member."

There was a 'ding' sound heard from Deadpool's computer. He sprang from the couch and leapt over it to the computer.

"I can't believe she didn't get all the cameras! Oh, this is so great!!!"

Deadpool smiled like a madman as he brought the camera's view up on the screen. The sight was a bit surprising.

"AHHHHHH!!!!!" Deadpool yelled in horror as he ran from the screen covering his eyes. "It was Gospel! I'm blind! I'm blind!! The horror! Boss got me on that one but, of course you know this means war! And now, to wash my eyes with hydrochloric acid and then go vomit. Ug! Gospel!" Deadpool shuddered as he left for the bathroom.

"Cease your prattle!", a voice hissed from the venting duct, reaching Deadpool accompanied by a metallic echo. "Your horrid sonics have caused me undue stress, as well as scaring away all prey for hundreds of feet." A psuedopod reached into the room, orienting on it's inhabitant, before the rest of Wax's diminished mass followed it in across the ceiling, mincing around the dubious stains he found there. "You moan louder than your ridiculous films, mercenary."

"You'd be prattling too if you've seen the horrors that I have!!" Deadpool replied while scrubbing his eyes. "I may never get that image out of my head! The horrors!" Deadpool reached around and around trying to locate a towel. He settled on using his shirt to wipe off his face.

"Hey, tar baby, I think you're the first person to voluntarily come into my room! You sure you're not a hot woman? I could really use a good hummer to get over the evils that have been committed to my poor eyes! Hey, do you think you could sneak me in some snacks or something? Nyra locked me in here and I'm not feeling ambitious enough to break out. And I don't mean that stuff that you eat!! You know I really miss the roaches that used to be in here! I can't believe that you ate little Timmy! He was going to move out soon and start a family with that hot female roach that he had been shagging underneath the couch! His parents were outraged and begged me to avenge him until you ate them too!"

Wax dropped to the floor, sliding behind a dresser. "Ahh, yesss, the small six-legs.......I have restored a good deal of my lost mass on those alone." A drawn-out clacking arose from behind the dresser, equivalent to lip-smacking. "They squirm for hours before digestion." He shook free a magazine that had become stuck in his mass, and irritatedly added, "Your pamphlet of.......Horse Horny Whores.......has impeded my progress." The pseudopod that had viewed the page header paused in mid retraction. "However, upon closer study, I find it intrigues me." The pooled creature gurgled contentedly as it scanned the exposed pages. "I did not expect to find a food catalogue in your room. While the beasts certainly do look appetizing, it is inconvenient to begin consumption at the point this female has chosen.....no matter, it does not concern me greatly." Wax started forwards once more, dividing around an open bottle of Lucky Lube. "As to your request........your filth is beneficial to me, as an abundance of prey feeds and breeds within it. I shall consider it. Now procure for me proper garb to cover my mass. Something clean." A moment passed in thought as he scanned the room. "Something.....unsullied."

"Unsullied? Considering that my refuse is your buffet, I thought you would be sure that there wasn't anything in here that hasn't been sullied. Not to mention, that a man's gotta mark his territory! Ya know what I mean?" Deadpool grinned at Wax but, quickly dropped at the lack of response from Wax.

"Boy, you're a live one. Lemme see if I have something you can wear. I have to say that I've seen more then enough nude teammates for one day and only one of them was pleasurable! That includes the sight of myself getting into the shower this morning. Although, the sight of Nyra and her self love does pretty much make up for the rest. "

Deadpool rifled through a closet throwing things out of it over his shoulder and out into the room. Clothes, magazines, several stiff pairs of socks, a few VHS cassettes and much other assorted junk.

"Ah ha!" he yelled as her pulled out an unopened package of children's bed sheets, the Care Bears printed upon them. "Don't ask where they came from, they were here when I moved in. Really! I'm a sicko but, I draw the line at fuzzy Technicolor animals! Guy's gotta have standards and mine may not be high but, they're not that low." Deadpool stopped as another thought came to him. "While you're making up your mind about whether you're gonna bring me lunch or not, why don't you answer me this? Just what the hell are you anyway?"

Wax hissed in displeasure at the sight of the pattern, but function won out over personal preference. "Hand it to me. Do not make me wait.", he said, pseudopods whipping towards Deadpool to wrest the package from his hands. Pulling it back towards himself, half of the tendrils grew serrated edges, sawing through the plastic packaging, the other half reaching in to extract the bedsheet and cover. "Disturbingly thin material, covered in brightly colored prey.", Wax exclaimed loudly, holding the bedding high above himself appraisingly, like a jeweler with a stone. "Still, it will serve my purposes, doubled over." With the bed sheet beneath the blanket, both spread slightly across the filthy floor, the puddle slid under the cloth, a moment passing before it began to rise. As it rose, the bedding wrapped inwards, ensuring what lay beneath was as well hidden as possible, halting at his diminished height of slightly over six feet. "You ask me what I am?" A quick, shrill sound followed by clacking indicated his suprise and joy at the question. "Your question brings me pleasure, mercenary. I may bring you your sustenance after all." Pale tendrils emerged from the base of his robe, snaring a fly off the wall and retracting. "I am an artist." Jet-black orbs studied the merc intently from within the makeshift hood, the elastic holding it loosely in place around the oddly-shaped head. "Perhaps you have seen my work?"

Deadpool tried to fight the snicker as he looked to the usually creepy Wax now adorned in cutesy, fuzzy bear sheets was almost too much for him to keep the laughter in.

"I've never been much for the museums and stuff. Although there was this one that was pretty cool. Too bad I got banned for life for adding my own touches to the nude paintings. There were a few of the artsy-farts that defended my work and offered me money though. The police opened fire before I could get the check though. Boy people will buy anything now. What kind of art are you into? I can't imagine a walking Rorschach holding a brush and painting. Also, I more meant just WHAT the hell are you? Animal, vegetable, mineral, dog doo?"

"Your tone borders insult, mercenary. I advise caution." The inky orbs glinted malevolently within the brightly stamped hood, the only part of his body that was visible, if vaguely so. "Such a curious creature.....you wish to see my brushes, my chisels, my tools by which I shape art?" Tendrils began to spill from beneath the robe, more pouring free from every available opening save the hood, his height dropping slightly as his mass redirected itself. Some grew serrated edges, others topped with wicked hooks, still more growing small mouths filled with haphazard handfuls of mismatched, jagged teeth, new arrivals growing more viscious means of assault by the minute. "Perhaps a demonstration?", Wax asked, his tone grating against Deadpool's ears. "Then again, it would be a shame to alter such a find.", he concluded after a moment's study, sounding slightly regretful. "As to what else I am, I am wholly unsure you would enjoy your answer. No one else has.", he stated, a slight clacking laughter trailing after the words. "You will answer my question now, mercenary, and I do not wish an unsatisfactory answer." Some of the tinier fanged tendrils fought over the remains of the fly, Wax seemingly oblivious to or unconcerned about their actions. "Why do you wear a mask among those you choose to trust?" The head tilted slightly forwards, gauging his reaction. "It seems unnecessary, as well as selfish. Why rob those present of such a masterpiece?" Clear nictating membranes 'blinked' their way quickly across the orbs, refreshing them as his gaze bore into Deadpool's face, eyes studying the slightest details. "Pain, spite and agony represented in every inch of gnarled flesh, as if a tumor had grown from hatred itself......Astounding.", Wax rasped distractedly, caught up in his critique.

"Maybe that's because not everyone's as proud of this 'masterpiece' as you are." Deadpool said coldly. He often regarded his mask as more his real face then the one of flesh and has never enjoyed discussing the matter. "While I'm going off, what makes you think that I trust any of you? I'm here because I am paid well to be. If someone ups the price, I will be more then happy to stab all of you in the back. Well, maybe not Nyra, unless I get a piece first. Then, I'll be ok with it. No one's gone out of their way to earn my trust and I'm not handing it out like a hooker does her twat! Lastly, I'm not the only one here that covers up what they really are, Inky, so where do you get off questioning me?"

Wax let out a deep chuckle at Deadpool's outburst, the clacking, grinding noise soon trailing off. "Good, you do not trust, as well.....complacency is invitation to an end for those who would cultivate it.", he said, approval clear in his voice. "Your face is as unique as your personality, mercenary. There is pride to be held in each, do not doubt that." The mass of tentacles began to retract, the figure under the bedding slowly growing to top six feet once more. "You feel I have you at a disadvantage, do you? I have traded question for question, but you still feel slighted in our exchange.......I suppose you have granted me a worthy gift in displaying such art, as well as use of your demneses as a breeding grounds.....Very well." The form beneath the bedding began to change, becoming more angular as it stretched the makeshift robe around it. "As you would do well to learn, a face is journal to our lives and experiences. Every line, blemish, mark or scar is a badge of survival, not to be taken lightly." The bed sheet snapped free of Wax's upper body, unable to contain what lay therein any longer. "What do you see of my life, mercenary? What of my experience?"

"What do I think?" Deadpool replied back taking in the being in front of him. "Well, honestly I think you look pretty fucking cool!! I mean I guess a little bit like some horror movie reject but, still one of the cooler ones! I thought that all you were before was like the Blob you know? Not that fat fuck. The one in that movie that ate people and was all acid like. Well, that or an sentient alien costume from space or some left over science experiment taken on a mind of it's own!" Deadpool paused as he got an extra creepy feeling from Wax.

"Yeah, I watch WAY too much T.V. What can I say, I've been bored lately and they got some chick all gothed showing tons of cleavage hosting horror films late at night." Deadpool started to rifle through some mail that was sitting on a small table.

"What do you know? I some how, 'accicdentally' got Bart's mail. Let's see. Video game magazine. Wrestling magazine. Hmm...that red head is damn hot! Might keep this one. Hey, this looks important." A wicked smile formed on Deadpool's scarred face.

"Hey, Wax, wanna go to the prom with me?" At Wax's seemingly blank expression Deadpool decided to explain.

"The new boss' mom's throwing a shindig for Valentines Day. Yeah, we can't really hurt anyone or cause too big of trouble but, just us being there ought to give Nyra a coronary! It'll be fun! Lord knows I need to get the hell outta here. I don't want to go alone and I doubt that Nyra or Fae will take me. C'mon! It'll be a blast! I'll be your best friend!"

Wax stared for long minutes at Deadpool, his only movement the occasional 'blink'. "You are a unique ally, indeed, mercenary. If word of what you have seen is kept, I don't think I'll kill you, after all." His head tilted slightly as he considered the offer. "The shadow-wielder will run this party, yes........she has cost me much, and yet revenge is denied me.", he gnashed out, frustration clear in his tones. "Still....perhaps there may be else of interest to be discovered." His mass began to recede inwards once more, his body and features blurring and liquifying, before reshaping themselves into that of a person in his late twenties, handsome features marred by a large, pale scar that traveled from his left temple across cheek, throat and chest. "If I cannot face her today, then I shall not honor such a fruitless meeting with my form intact." Stepping free of the bedsheet, Wax chuckled darkly. "Locate proper clothing, mercenary. Two sets." Wax gazed into the mirror, admiring the image of flawed beauty presented therein. "I do not wish to waste my concentration on forming clothing that eve."

"UUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGG!!!!" Deadpool yelled as he covered his eyes. "I am tired of seeing my teammates shlongs today!!! Why am I being punished?! My poor eyes have been twice raped! I am seriously considering becoming blind!"

Deadpool continued to complain as he rifled through some drawers throwing clothes, towels, certain publications and other odd things, over his shoulder as he searched. "Hey I wondered where that shirt went. Geez, what the hell was I thinking when I bought that. No more shopping after drinking." He continued to mumble and toss clothes haphazardly across his room.

"Here ya go!" He said tossing two pair of boxers. One with little pink hearts and the other blue with purple polka dots. "If we weren't going some place all fancy like I would get the leisure suit out of the closet but, I guess that won't fly. I have one tux in the closet but, that's pretty much it. Dunno why you need two sets of clothes though." Deadpool moved to the closet and pulled out a baby blue tuxedo. Yeah it's that one that, that one geeky kid in every teen television show wears. Yes, I can't believe the writer went for that joke either.

"Hey, I thought it was pretty fucking funny!"

You would. Anyway...

"Here ya go, Waxxy. Hope it fits. Thankfully, I have my image inducer so I can look all spiffy and GQ. Still, the party isn't 'til Valentines so, as not to mess with list continuity, we've got a few days to wait so, why did you change already? Also, when the hell are you gonna get me something to eat!! Some how despite having seen more of both you and Gospel then I needed, I'm still starving!! "

(OOC: Farg, I've gone and caused Deadpool to break the fourth wall harder than usual with my continuity tangle. Didn't know when this was set. I'll go edit 'tonight' to 'that night' and leave the rest intact.)

((OOC:I thought this was funny so I left it in))

Wax snatched the heart-print pair from the air, letting the other fall to the floor. "You are strangely squeamish for a killer, mercenary.", Wax said with a shrug, balling up the boxers and jamming them into his shoulder, which closed up around them. "Very well. If it will convince you to end your assault on my ability to sense sonic vibration, I will remove the source of your discomfort." The offending organ retracted, it's mass redistributed around Wax's now-neuter form, until it disappeared entirely. "Perhaps I mistook the cause for your scream." Turning from the mirror, he eyed the powder blue tux with obvious distaste. "It seems I will have to procure my own formal attire, after all. I will accept the loan of the undergarment, however." The figure collapsed to the ground, his body pooling once more. The boxers were held within a bubble atop the chimeric mass as it made it's way up the wall. "I will locate you before the festivities. Until then, I shall hunt." With the tesseract technology, locating a donor for such finery would not be hard. The world had gone too long without his art. Wax's voice echoed from the venting a few moments after the last of the goo had disappeared within, a metallic ring lent to his harsh tones. "You have brought to my attention much of interest, mercenary. I will send a small portion of my mass to drag you your packages of dessicated tuber shortly, if you can locate silence enough within you to allow me time to locate my own repast."

Deadpool blinked several times and then rifled through various parts of his room looking for his dictionary. Eventually he managed to locate the seldom used book. Personally, I was surprised that he knew what one was.

"Bite me."

Anyway, Deadpool quickly went about looking up one of the words and then smiled.

"Tubers equals potatoes! Sweet! Maybe he's getting me some fries!! Mmm.....French fries." Deadpool then drooled a la Homer Simpson for several long seconds before moving back to the couch and resuming his channel surfing.

"Gotta remember to ask Fae for my porn back if I see her at that party."

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