A Brass player's credo

THE BRASS PLAYER'S CREDO Blow the fucking shit out of it man and don't give an inch and let them know you are back there and that you don't give a damn about their tempermental prima donna horseshit attitudes because you are a LOW BRASS PLAYER and that means you have to nail it to the wall and to do that you got to be a real player, with a chin (dwandle- deedle)and that means you're gonnaaa nail and plow and log and wahf and drag and push and 'lead the whole damn section' through every part no matter what it is -- Mozart of Mahler (they're all the same, aren't they? Besides, a fortsado is a fortsado) and if they don't like if they can find another player because you don't need their damn money and that those sissy-arsed conductors and tin-eared string players (they 'think' they can hear the grass grow) and the twiddly-dink woodwind pickers that are so sure that all low brass players want to play loud all the time can just kiss your ass (rahnrahnrahnrahnrahnrahnrahnrahnrahnrahnslit your ass in 1/2) and if they son't want tp pay you double scale they can get screwed for all you care because they couldn't replace you with a player 1/2 as good and to just stick that bloddy contract up their aricstocratic asses because if they don't apprecitate a big sound with someone and bredth and projsction and carrying power that you don't want to be a part of this orchestra and to take the whole sypholny society and/or Art Alliance and shove it 'cause you're fed up with all this ameteur bullshit and to come across with some real bread or they'll be hunting for another player and that you've got a million other offers and that you've got no problem playing the horn because you can fucking read!!

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