1. You wake up face down on the pavement.
2. You put your bra on backwards and it fits better.
3. You call suicide prevention and they put you on hold.
4. You see a 'Dateline NBC' news crew in your office.
5. Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
6. You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party and there aren't any.
7. You turn on the news and they're displaying emergency routes out of your city.
8. You sit down to watch something on PBS and they're showing 8 hours of Barney.
9. You switch to the other PBS station in town and they're showing 8 hours of Teletubbies.
10. Your twin sister forgets your birthday.
11. Your daughter brings home a boy named Dahmer.
12. Your horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck behind a car load of gangstas while you're driving down the LA freeway.
13. You wake up to discover that your waterbed has sprung a leak and then you realize you don't have a waterbed.
14. You see the Hare Krishna's forming a barracade to the concourse you're trying to catch a flight on.

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