Species-ist Jokes from Babylon 5


Centauri

What did the last of the Xon say?
Arrrgggh!

I've been having nightmares that make my hair stand on end.
That would explain the Centauri.
      Sheridan and Delenn, "And the Rock Cried Out, No Hiding Place"

How many Centauri does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just one, but in the great old days of Republic hundreds of servants would change a thousand lightbulbs at our slightest whim!
      Londo to Lennier, "Convictions"

Minbari

How many Minbari does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three.
      Duggy

Centauri guards must be selected by the amount of bone content in their head. They should employ Minbari.
      Londo to Vir (after punching out a Centauri guard), "And the Rock Cried Out, No Hiding Place"

Narn

How many Narns does it take to insert a lightbulb?
Five. One to insert the bulb, and four to hold down the Centauri.
      Robert Whyte

What is more dangerous than a locked room full of angry Narns?
One angry Narn with a key!
      Centauri Minister to Vir, "Sic Transit Vir"

Psi Corp

How many Psi's does it take to change a lightbulb?
One, but it needs to see all of the correct documentation first.
      Duggy

How many super-teeks does it take to change a light-bulb?
Just Ironheart. He re-arranges the molecular structure.
      Chris Hadgis
How many Psi-Corps experimental volunteers does it take to change a light-bulb?
Ironheart: Change it into what?
      Robert Rendell

Vorlon

How many Vorlons does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1: Yes.
A2: Just Kosh.
      Duggy

Why did the Vorlon cross the road?
Who knows?
      Duggy

Why did the Vorlon cross the road?
He was always there!
      Kevin Lentin

Miscellaneous

How many time travellers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. Zathras change bulb. Zathras always do all the work. Poor Zathras. Zathras no complain. It Zathras lot in life.
      Duggy

How many time travellers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Ooooh. Zathras try to warn. Great Darkness coming. Much blacknesses. Zathras tell but ooooooh-tch-tch-tch nooo-body listen to poor Zathras!
      David Versace

Watch out for chickens... they cross the road when you're not looking at them.
Jeffrey Sinclair, ex-Babylon 5.
      Possum Bits


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This page is maintained by Alys and was last updated on 14 February, 1997. 1