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BloodStar Proudly Presents:

Visitor Number 537

WARNING:

Wise visitors will skip The Introduction, which has some Very Dangerous Babble, and scroll down to the section that says "And The Winner Is..."

The Introduction
(which has some Very Dangerous Babble)

Yes, Earthlings and Fellow Aliens, in cooperation with the Discordian Division of the Ek-sen-triks CluborGuild, We present to you the 537th Visitor to this Site, as determined by the independent accounting and accreditation team of Narnes and Boble.

Why, you may ask, is the number 537 so important? Wouldn't it have made more sense to focus on visitor number 500, or 1000, or 666?

Ah, you are obviously not a knowing member of the Discordian Division of the Ek-sen-triks CluborGuild, or you would know The Answer. Or at least you would know enough not to ask The Question.

But for those of you True Seekers of Knowledge who insist on insight Regardless of the Cost, those Brave Fools who tremble not at facing unEarthly Horror, you can receive your enlightened answer from the Illuminati by going HERE.

What, you still here? Good. Those other poor fools who clicked on HERE will think nothing happened to them, but they don't realize that now their brains are clandestinely being influenced by Alien Beings of Great Power who will Rule Earth!

But enough of that. The envelope, please.

And The Winner is...

REESE

Which Reese, you ask? Nowadays, you can't throw a cyber-stick on the Internet without hitting a Reese. And if you throw knives, you end up with Reese's Pieces.
(Sorry about that. Couldn't control myself)

Which Reese? I'll tell you.

Born a human female infant on the Planet Earth, Reese was a bright, creative child, but not one who realized that Cosmic Influences were at work through her to Transform the Nature of Humankind.

Known online as "CLUMSY," "Creepy Girl," and other interesting names, she is a special human to me, and is one of my favorite bipeds that I've had the pleasure of meeting online. In fact, as of March 24, 1999, she's my adopted niece! She's clever, has a good sense of humour, and likes purple things. And my purple thing likes her back. Furthermore, her being the 537th visitor was determined by Numeralogical Destiny.

(Those who aren't into Numeralogical Destinies or who have to watch their intake of Numeralogical Babble just skip this section, and go to the "Super Condensed Simplistic Numeralogical Version" found below the next section)

Numeralogical Destiny Section
(containing lots--in fact way too much--of Numeralogical Babble.
Best just skip it, and go to the condensed version below).

First, consider her name, Reese. Notice it has five letters, five being a primary number of all Discordians, and of course being the first number in 537, which is especially important to the Ek-sen-triks. Also notice that there are 3 Es in her name, E being the 5th letter in the English language. Therefore, 3 5s (the 53 part of 537 reversed). Add up the numbers of her name, based on where they appear in the English alphabet: R = 18, E = 5, E = 5, S = 19, E = 5. Adding the ones column, 8 + 5 + 5 + 9 + 5 = 32. Note that 3 + 2 is 5, and that the reverse, 23, is an important Discordian number, primarily to the Bavarian Illuminati (2 + 3 = 5). Note also that you carry the 3. Then in the 10s column, 3 + 1 + 1 = 5, so 18 + 5 + 5 + 19 + 5 = 52, the number of weeks in a standard year. Note also that a standard week has 7 days, the last number of 537. And add that 5 + 2 and you have 7, again the last number.

Not convinced? Consider also that Reese, laid out according to Pythagorean Numeralogy, is 9 + 5 + 5 + 1 + 5 = 25. Again, 3 5s, and it equals 25, the reverse of 52, which of course still adds up to 7!

And if that's not enough, she signed the guestbook twice. The first time she was guestbook signer number 23, the second time, when she was visitor 537, she was guestbook signer 32. Remember that 32 is the total of the ones column in the first example, and also the reverse of 23. Note that of those numbers, 2 3 3 2, 5 = 2 + 3, 3 = 3, 7 = 2 + 2 + 3.

I could go on about other connections: numeralogical significance of her website address, her favorite color, the average air speed velocity of a coconut laden swallow, etc., but you can check those things out for yourself.

For those who want a really short version, read the

Super Condensed Simplistic Numeralogical Version
(primarily for fans of The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Or those with short attention spans
Or those still not convinced.)

Consider this:

The relationship between 537 and 42.

5 + 3 + 7 = 15. 1 + 5 = 6. Also, 4 + 2 = 6.

And Reese's birthday is 9/8/1978. 9 + 8 + 1 + 9 + 7 + 8 = 42. And 42 is, as every Hitchhiker's fan knows, The Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, The Universe, and Everything.

So there.

So What Does All of This Have to with Reese?
or so who is this Reese anyway?

Well, you've fooled around long enough that a photo of the wonderful, lovely niece Reese should now have appeared below:

Reese's Website

So check out her great site (which changes frequently), go back to my main page, or sit here and gaze for awhile at her lovely face adoringly, like I do, and--hey, stop drooling!

All right. That's enough. Get out of here. Go to her site or my main page now. I'm warning you...