Diary Entries:
The Arrival
Getting over
the initial shock
Bitch Session
Recent Arrivals
This Site
Those
other pages:
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 The purpose of this archives page is just a place to put my earlier diary entries. I'll continue to do this until I run out of room here. The Geocities HTML editor that I'm sending my output to will only take so much stuff on one page. All the newer diary entries are back on the main Diary page and as that page fills up, those older entries will end up here. When this page gets too full, I'll either start trashing stuff or create an Archives II page.
On another page of this site, I touched on what I experienced when I first arrived here. I can't go into exactly how I died, but I will say that it was not anticipated. The initial few moments after death can be quite a different experience from one person to the next. Someone who is dying of a long, terminal illness will go through a different process than someone who is the victim of a sudden catastrophe.
I don't want to bum you out or anything, but I fell into the latter category. Consequently, the first moments after my death can best be described as a confused state, somewhat like what you might experience when your alarm clock goes off at 6:00 a.m. on Monday morning, jarring you out of an active dream state. It actually took quite a while...well, I don't know how long in terms of actual time, but it was a while before I realized where I was and the fact that I was really dead. It was a lot like...you know how when you're dreaming and you're aware, in your dream, that things don't seem quite right, but you don't question it...you just go along with it? It was kinda like that. Very much like a dream. I would fill up about a thousand lines of text here describing everything to you, but there was a period of isolation immediately following my death, followed by my being welcomed by other souls who had previously passed away.
That initial period when you arrive here is very much like being alive, with regards to what you see and hear and feel, and I understand that it is that way for most people. The reason being, I'm told, is that it eases the transition process. I mean, looking around and seeing friendly faces and trees and birds, and being able to sit in comfortable furniture makes you feel at ease. The whole thing is actually a lot less traumatic than the process of being born. At least you're not held up by your ankles while some guy in a white coat smacks you on the butt until you cry.
So, when you first get here, you may actually have the illusion of still occupying a body, kind of like the "phantom-limb syndrome" when someone has a limb amputated and they feel like it's still there. As you're welcomed by friends and relatives who have long been deceased, you may actually see them as you remember them. Grandma might bring you a batch of freshly baked brownies and your old Uncle Fred might invite you to go fishing. After a while it begins to dawn on you that some of these people have been dead for several years, and unless this IS some kind of a dream, then...OH MY GOD, I MUST BE DEAD!!!
Some people, I'm told, experience a "fully conscious" death, where they're totally aware of what's happening the whole time. Personally, I don't believe it. The whole process is much too intense and complex for anyone to completely comprehend it all. So, for most of us, part of our consciousness sort of shuts down, and you get through the transition, which-like I've said before-is different for everybody, then you finally begin to relax and become fully aware of what's just happened to you.
I don't know if I've made this totally clear up to this point, but there is this transition period, then what I call the actual "arrival". Then there's this fairly long period of making you feel welcome and relaxed in your new surroundings before you actually take your place among the rest of the souls milling around here.
A lot of what you go through during that transition period is kind of thrown in your face all at once, kind of like when people talk about having your life flash before your eyes. Well, all those thoughts and images you experience then will be referenced later, because I don't think you're expected to really grasp it all at once. One of the things they always have you doing here is recalling some of those experiences from that life/death transition, and working with those themes as you make your way along your path of spiritual progression.
So, as you settle into your new home here, you might spend quite a bit of time just chatting with old friends, laughing, dancing, listening to music. It's really pretty low-key for a while, before they start hitting you with the heavier stuff. Most people get pretty restless after a while anyway, and want to start asking a lot of questions and having a look around. Some people get here and start demanding to see Jesus right away. Others are so freaked out, and so certain that they've landed in hell that it takes a while to calm them down. Not that there's anything to make you think you're in hell, it's just that some people have such a guilty conscience that they start losing it if they don't see angels with wings and halos. Actually, one of the favorite pastimes here is watching the "newbies" arrive. Everyone reacts so differently. There's no real hazing or cruel initiation process, though. I mean, it's not like you're joining a college fraternity or something.
I'm going to interrupt my normally scheduled sequence of diary entries here to get something off my chest.
A short time after I arrived here, once I was shown around and met with a counselor and everything, there were certain mandatory tasks, or chores that were assigned to me, and I was free to choose several others. The project of doing this web page was one that I entered in to voluntarily, but with a mutual understanding about the framework with which I was to operate. I was given the impression that I was the right person for this job and I felt grateful that they thought so highly of me here.
I understood that there were certain areas that I could not discuss on this site, one of them being my own identity. I also understood that my work would be loosely supervised with regards to content. Obviously they don't want me disclosing anything that could have any earth-shattering consequences, even though the amount of information we're given access to here is pretty astounding.
Like I've said elsewhere on this site, the purpose of doing this is to simply open up communications between the dead and the living, and bring it to the next level beyond dark, spooky fortune-teller parlors.
I had a lot of enthusiasm coming into this project, because, as I told you on the home page, there is so much to tell you. But lately, I'm finding that the individuals who are overseeing me in this project are exerting a lot more control than what I was initially led to believe. Not just control, but outright censorship.
There are some questions on the FAQ page and the Mailbox page for instance, where I was told to revise my original answers because I was being too honest or simply giving out too much information. For example, there was a question about life on other planets and whether or not aliens had visited earth. I was severely edited on my answer to that question. I guess they figure you can't handle it or something. I don't know, I wonder why they want me to do this if they're going to keep putting these kinds of restrictions on me.
I hope this won't discourage you from submitting your questions, because there is still quite a bit that I am free to discuss. And, who knows, maybe they'll loosen up around here after time, once they realize I'm not starting any revolutions or anything. I just wanted to blow off some steam. Thanks for listening. We now return you to your regularly scheduled diary entry.
As the server for this web site is receiving my signals, it is early September, 1997 on the earth plane. We've had a couple of recent arrivals here who were special people on earth, as they are here now.
Because of her age, as well as her stature in the religious community on earth, the transcendence of Mother Theresa from the earth plane has been expected for quite some time here and the preparations for her arrival were already well underway by the time she passed away. I understand that she is to be given quite a leadership role in the hierarchy of things here. They have a lot of plans for her. There was quite a buzz around here in the moments preceding her arrival as many, many souls gathered to prepare for her welcoming.
There is, I am told, a small group of individuals here whose job it is to make preparations for new arrivals. Apparently there is quite a bit to be done in order to process these souls, and often there are large numbers of individuals who die at the same time, or nearly the same time, such as in times of war or great disasters. This group of individuals on the preparations committee, of course has advance notice of who will be arriving next. Often, word spreads quickly among us here as to who we can be expecting, such as with Mother Theresa. In other times, for reasons only a few know, the preparations committee keeps it a well-guarded secret until the last moment.
To those of us outside of that committee, the death of Princess Diana was as much of a surprise as it was to most of you on earth.
Both of these women spent some time immediately after their deaths lingering close by your world before finally arriving here. In the case of Mother Theresa, she has been ready for this for some time, because of her physical condition on earth, and also because her life's work prepared her for an easy spiritual transition into the hereafter. Now, she is already quite busy here with all the tasks that have been assigned to her.
Although she was present here for a well-attended welcoming party, Princess Di has also strong attachments to the activities and concerns of those who were close to her, especially considering the circumstances of her sudden death. Because of that, and the fact that her death has brought many people together in spirit, she is remaining close to her ties on earth for some time from what I'm told, before she will be expected to carry on with her tasks here.
While there is a lot of sadness and shock in your world surrounding Di's death, it is not perceived in exactly the same way here. Although we are able to observe your activities there (that had to be the most spectacular funeral I've ever witnessed), and we can appreciate your grief, you have to understand that to us, it is simply a matter of an individual returning home, and there is usually great joy at finding someone like her arriving here.
You must remember that you are all going to die some day. Some of you are just getting here sooner than others. In Diana's case, she apparently feels, as do many others, that her death was some sort of a mistake, that she still had much more to do. But, who are we to question the reasons why? I felt the same way when I first got here, but like I said, it's really like returning home, and when you get here you soon realize that this is where you belong and you were just a visitor on earth for a short period of time.
Since I had previously gotten my complaining out of the way, I just want to say a few other things about this site. As I'm sending this message to you, the site is still relatively new, and I have focused the majority of my energies so far on getting things to look they way I want, while trying to provide enough content to inform and amuse you while you're here. Now that I have things pretty much set in terms of layout, I can begin to focus my efforts on expanding this diary page, since it is here that I intend to provide most of my descriptions of the great beyond, as you often call it. I can also finish answering some of the questions that many of you have submitted. My apologies for making you wait so long, and please keep the questions coming. It is the best way for me to know what sort of things you want to hear about.
There has been a great deal of discussion here as to whether or not I should be allowed to personally respond to your E-Mail messages, particularly those which do not suit the format of the Mailbox page. For the time being, I am not being permitted to provide personal responses to your questions and comments. There is some concern among my supervisors here that I may develop "relationships" on line and neglect the duties of the web page. They are also concerned about individuals developing a one-on-one relationship with me and receiving special attention. So, for now at least, this remains a mass-medium project. No pun intended... medium-get it? See a medium is a form of media and also a medium is...ahh never mind, if have to explain it...
I have been inhibited by the inability to create the visual effects I would like to have for this site, so I have had to rely on the talent of other generous individuals who have so kindly made their work available to anyone on the web who wants to use it. Please check out the credits on the home page and give those sites a visit, if you haven't already. If it weren't for them, this site would be a lot more bland. The Night Gallery site is especially awe-inspiring. Some sites have allowed the use of their work without requiring credit or a link back to their site. You know who you are and many thanks to you, too. If anyone sees an image on one of my pages that they've created and they require credit for it, please let me know. It is not my intention to steal your work. By the way, I'm still looking for some cool Grim Reaper images. Anybody know where I can get 'em?
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