I'll Always be Watching
Date: Tue, 04 Jun 1996

Season Finale Spoiler: This episode has so many moments to
explore that we could create an entire section of fan fiction
dedicated to it alone. This is a real short one that explores
Mulder's mother's feelings and her relationship with Bill Mulder.

SPOILER ALERT: Don't read unless you've seen the last episode
of season three, or don't give a fig.

Rated PG. I stayed true to the vision, CC.
A tissue warning is in effect until the end of this vignette

Standard Disclaimer: I used all this without permission. Thanks
for not suing me because I have no intention to profit from this.
In return, I won't rag on you for not giving this poor woman a
first name. Deal?

I would love comments. Send to me at vmoseley@fgi.net

I'll Always be Watching
by Vickie Moseley

Providence Hospital

Fox Mulder laid his head down on his mother's arm and cried.
In the corner of the room, unseen by anyone of the living, a young
woman stood, taking in the scene.

She was very young, no more than twenty something. Her hair
was again the dark ash blond that it had been before age and grief
had turned it silver. Her eyes were the bright hazel they had been
before she had given birth, so full of wonder and excitement at the
things to come. But in her mind, she knew it all. So her eyes
were brimming with tears for this, her child, crying his heart out at
her corporal form's demise.

She felt the touch at the small of her back before she even
heard him. "Hello, Bill," she murmured and swiped at a tear that
had escaped it's bonds on her lashes. He leaned over and kissed
her cheek. She turned and smiled at him.

He, too was young. So young that he looked like the brother
of the young man before them, rather than the father. His hair
was coal black, the lines were gone from his face. It was the face
she had fallen in love with so many years ago. "Hello,
sweetheart," he said. "I've been waiting," he added shyly.

She took his hand and squeezed it. "I know," she said quietly.
She had always been the stronger of the two. He never wanted to
realize it, and she had hidden the fact well from her son. But
when push came to shove, she had handled it all. Even now. She
turned her gaze back to Fox. "I'm worried about him."

Bill followed her gaze. "He's a good man, dear. You did a
fine job. He'll be all right, I'm sure of it."

She shook her head ruefully. "I didn't want to hurt him
anymore, Bill. He's been so terribly hurt. It breaks my heart to
think of the things. . ."

He put his arms around her shoulder. "Shhhh, don't think that.
He's strong. He's got so much of you in him," he chided playfully.
"And he has her." They were quiet a moment. "He's been here,
you know, with me. It was for a short time, but we talked." He
saw the fear in her eyes. "He was so tired. He wanted to stay."

"And you convinced him to go back?" she asked. She knew
her son had returned to her, but not the circumstances
surrounding it.

"I tried. An old friend tried, as well. In the end, I think we did
little more than focus his attention on her. He could feel that she
needed him, was in danger. That brought him back more than
anything I could have said or done," Bill admitted.

"That's her place. A lover's place," she smiled a bit sadly.

Bill chuckled beside her. "Lover's? They aren't lovers. Lovers
couldn't hold a candle to what they are to each other. It's so much
deeper. So much like . . ."

" . . . like us?" she asked, staring him in the eyes. All the love,
the commitment, the need that had been between them was
communicated there in that look.

"Exactly like us," he admitted.

"That makes me feel a little better. But will he ever be happy?
Bill, I want him to be happy. I want him to have a family, to be
content in his old age, I want him to find peace. I want him to
find . . . Sam." The tears would not be held back any longer.

"He will. I'm sure of it," Bill consoled her. "As for those other
things, why wish for him things that we have no power over? I
had a family, but I wasn't content, I only found peace in my final
moments. He has so much more. He has commitment to a cause
greater than I could have ever imagined. He has drive and
dedication and he's his own man. And he has a helpmate. I lost
you when I needed you the most." Now, his eyes too were filled
with tears.

"I wasn't lost. You just forgot where you put me," she chided
softly.

"And for that I am eternally sorry," he said sadly.

"But you have me now. And we have an eternity to forgive
each other." She saw his eyes brighten a bit at her words. "I just
wish . . ." she said, turning back to look at their son. "I just wish I
could have seen Samantha, before . . ."

"But you can. I'll show you. She's not here, but we can still
see her, if you want."

"I'd like that. Just let me tell him . . ."

"Of course. I'll wait."

She silently made her way over to the grief-stricken young man
still holding on to a body that held no life. Gently, she placed a
kiss on his tear stained cheek. "Goodbye, my little Fox. I'll
always be watching," she assured him. She smiled as he raised his
hand to hold the spot she had kissed. Then she turned and walked
away.

the end