Subject:Circles and Squares
Date: Fri, 25 Dec 1998
From: Vickie Moseley <vmoseley@fgi.net>

Title: Circles and Squares
Summary: Post-ep for 'Triangle' so yes there are spoilers
Spoilers: Triangle, Emily, Fight the Future, you name it
Rating: PG
Category: V A MT very mild MSR, but actually pretty safe for all
Disclaimer: Still don't own 'em. But if they're ever up for sale,
give me a call. Still don't own the copyright. Still won't make
money off this.
Comments: This is the 'after the 'oh brother' scene that everyone
wanted me to write, but it's a bit different. Let me know what you
think.
Dedicated to Ten, who sends me stuff when I'm begging, Susan,
who understands how stories can just jump out and bite you even
when you have others in the works, Kathy who had p-neumonia for
research purposes and to everyone, a very happy holiday season.

Circles and Squares
by Vickie Moseley
vmoseley@fgi.net

Some hospital
Savannah, Georgia
September 15, 1998

Mulder rubbed his cheek and smiled. He could still feel the
knuckles of her perfectly formed right hand as it impacted with the
filling in his second upper molar. He always knew Scully packed a
whollop. Now his jaw had 'scientific evidence' to support that
instinctual knowledge.

But was it Scully? The woman had looked like her, had acted just
like the woman he'd know for six years and all of his life. But was
any of that real.

His head hurt. It had been hurting since he'd opened his eyes.
Scully had told him to go to sleep. That sounded like a great idea.

He'd told Scully he loved her. It was pretty anti-climatic, of
course. She was used to hearing stuff like that from him. Marry
me. Should we be picking out china patterns? Are you coming on
to me, Agent Scully? At least this was a better way of expressing
his feelings than grabbing her and forcing her into what he had to
say was one of the best kisses, no tongue, of his post adolescent
life. That had gotten him into trouble. No, telling her he loved her
was a much better approach. He could live with a muttered 'oh,
brother'. He knew he'd caught her off guard but at least this way
saved a hell of a lot on dental bills.

He closed his eyes and let the throbbing in his head set a rhythm
with his heart. The pain increased, or at least it felt that way, but so
did the lethargy he was feeling. A fleeting thought, Scully's voice
telling him to close his eyes and sleep, passed through his mind and
he let the darkness carry him away.

*******************

"It's not going to be easy, keeping all of this from Kersch," Skinner
said as he handed Scully a cup of coffee in the cafeteria. Her mind
was elsewhere, down the hall in the little private room and she
looked startled at his words.

"Excuse me? I'm sorry, sir. I didn't hear you."

Skinner shook his head impatiently. "Scully. Mulder is going to be
fine. It's Kersch you need to worry about. Friday was easy, you
came into the office and then left after lunch. But tomorrow is
Monday? I don't think he's going to fall for the excuse that your
mother took ill with the same 24 hour bug you caught again. And
it does nothing to explain Mulder's illness, although I'm of the
opinion to let him get his ass chewed out all on his own," Skinner
added with a glare down the hallway which was more than likely
meant for his other 'former' underling.

"Sir, I have a lot of time off coming, as does Mulder. Comp time
alone would keep us out of the office for a couple of weeks. I'll
call in the morning and request the week off."

"And Mulder? Not to mention what if Kersch decides not to grant
that request?"

Scully took a deep breath and blew it out. Skinner was being
obstinate, but he was also right. Kersch could very well deny her
request. They could use Mulder's medical condition to get him the
time off, especially if he hadn't been released, but that wouldn't
account for her being with him. Kersch already called them
'co-dependent'. She could just see what he'd call them when he
took the time to figure out this latest escapade.

The memory of running through the halls of the Hoover building,
for all the world looking like the heroine in an old B movie crashed
through her mind like a runaway freight train. Spender. Oh, God,
she'd threaten to kill Spender! And impersonated Fowley. And
burst in on Assistant Director Kersch when he was meeting with the
Cigarette Smoker. And left four hours before her scheduled
quitting time in a beat up Volkswagen van, almost running down
that little weasel Spender in the process.

No doubt about it. She was screwed. It was time for some serious
ass covering. If that were even possible.

Skinner nudged her arm to get her attention. "Scully. You're
being paged."

She looked up and cocked her head to listen. "Dana Scully, please
report to the nurses station, 6 west immediately. Agent Dana
Scully to six west, immediately."

Scully sighed and shook her head. "I just left him, I can't believe
he's already pissed off the nurses," she muttered, took one last gulp
of coffee and headed off to the nurses station. She was halfway to
the elevators when she noticed she had a 'shadow'.

"Sir, I can handle this, you could have stayed and finished your
lunch."

"On the contrary, Agent Scully. I'm anxious to see Mulder get a
good dressing down. Since he's in no condition for me to do it,
watching you do it will just have to suffice."

Scully looked at him with a raised eyebrow and shrugged.
"Whatever," she mumbled.

Mulder's doctor was standing at the nurses station, a chart in his
hands and he didn't look happy. But on closer inspection, he didn't
look nearly as angry as he looked nervous and upset. Scully filed
that in her memory and decided to take the offensive.

"Doctor Milton, I'm very sorry. I told him to go to sleep. I should
have warned you that he rarely follows orders and usually . . ."

"Dr. Scully, um, there is a problem. Your partner . . . when the
nurse went in to do a neuro check . . ." He sighed and straightened
his posture, then started again. "I'm afraid your partner's condition
is more serious than we originally suspected."

*******************

Mulder watched Scully come into the room. She looked a little
angry and at first, he thought the anger was directed at him. Could
she be mad at him for telling her that he loved her? He didn't think
so. She had to know, after all this time.

But she did something strange. She walked over to the other bed in
the room and started taking stock of some of the machines around
the guy. Mulder hadn't remembered having a roommate, but then,
one might have been brought in while he was asleep. He started to
call out to Scully, get her attention, when he noticed something
else.

He was not in a bed.

He was standing by the windows. This perplexed him. He
remembered Scully telling him to fall asleep, and he remembered
the headache he'd had at the time. He remembered closing his eyes
and allowing the darkness to banish the pain in his head.

And then his next thought was wondering why Scully was touching
the other guy on the forehead.

Scully didn't know anyone else at this hospital. At least, she hadn't
mentioned that earlier. But then, she'd been pretty miffed at him,
and hadn't believed a word he was telling her, so in all actuality, she
probably didn't think he was lucid enough to talk to.

He noticed Skinner coming into the room, looking worried. He
stood just behind Scully, his hand on her shoulder in an oddly warm
show of support and comfort. Mulder felt a twinge of jealousy
brush past him. What the hell was going on?

Skinner squeezed Scully's shoulder and then nodded toward the
guy in the bed.

"I don't understand, Scully. I thought once he woke up, the worst
was over."

Scully wouldn't drag her eyes away from the figure in the bed.
"There was considerable swelling in the brain, sir. I should have
seen the signs. He wasn't lucid before, he was talking jibberish. I
don't think we can even fairly call that a conscious period. He was
semi-conscious. His mouth was engaged, but not his brain."

Mulder bristled at that. The fact that they were talking about him
was fairly obvious, and now Scully was talking like he couldn't
even hear her.

"Scully. I was just as lucid as you are right now. Scully. Hey,
look at me when I'm talking to you!" he demanded.

She was still looking at the joker in the bed.

"Scully, I know you're mad at me, but don't be so stubborn. Hey,
I'm sorry I made you worry. And about the love stuff, well, just
forget it if it makes you this uncomfortable. I just thought you
should . . ."

He'd been watching her closely, and she'd just picked up the hand
of the guy on the bed and placed a gentle kiss on the long fingers.

Mulder's blood ran cold. The next thought he had was that it was
physically impossible for him to feel his blood to really run cold.

Because he wasn't in his body.

"Shit," he muttered, moving slowly over to stand next to Scully. At
first, he didn't want to tear his eyes away from his partner's face.
At least her face was familiar, at least he could deal with the look of
anguish he found there. But his innate curiosity took hold of him.
He raised his eyes to look at the face of the man on the bed.

One look was all it took. He clenched his eyes shut tightly, trying
to run from the image.

It was his own face he saw lying there.

After a moment, the curiosity got the better of him again. He pried
open his eyes and looked again. He pulled down his clinical
detachment. He was looking at a body, not himself. Just like at a
crime scene. Look at the evidence, determine what had taken
place.

Is the body alive? Even behind his facade of detachment he was
relieved to note that the body was indeed alive and breathing.
There was an oxygen tube under the nose, which made him wince
slightly. Not just because he knew how sore those things always
made his upper lip, but because it only served to make his nose look
even larger.

There was something different than other bodies he'd seen. Save
for one. There were little pads and wires attached around the
forehead, even a couple on the earlobes looking like the latest teen
craze. He remembered all too well the last body he'd seen sporting
so much electrical wiring. Scully had been similarly attired when
she was in the coma.

Coma. Oh shit.

"What does the doctor think caused it?"

"The swelling. I was so stupid! I never should have left him alone.
And I told him to go to sleep! Where the hell were my brains, for
God's sakes? Coma is always a possible side effect of a head injury
and I as much as pushed him into it!"

"Scully, this is _not_ your fault," Skinner said softly, giving her
shoulder another squeeze. "You know it's not."

Mulder watched as she wiped angrily at her eyes with the sleeve of
her jacket. "I left him. I walked out. That _is_ my fault. If I'd
stayed, I would have known something was wrong. I was just so
anxious to avoid . . ." She stopped in the middle of the sentence
and clamped her lips tightly shut.

Skinner looked around the room and for a moment, Mulder almost
thought he looked directly at him. Or at his 'spiritual presense'.
But instead, the AD spotted the high backed chair by the bathroom
door and moved it over so that Scully could take a seat.

"Do you want anything? You never did eat anything. I can bring
you a sandwich. Some coffee, maybe?"

She stubbornly shook her head.

Skinner sighed and looked lost. "Well, I think I better track down
the other three, let them know what's happened. If there's any
change, could you . . ."

"I'll have them page you, sir. Immediately."

Skinner left and they were alone. Scully, holding his almost lifeless
hand, and him, watching her from behind. It was unnerving, and
finally, he walked around to the opposite side of the bed so he
could see her face more plainly.

The tear tracks down her cheeks torn at his heart. He hated the
thought that he was making her cry and if he could do anything to
stop the tears, he would have done it.

He just didn't know how to go back.

They'd been there for a long time when Scully reached up and
wiped at her eyes with her free hand. "Well, Mulder, you certainly
know how to throw me for a loop."

"Tell me about it, Scully," he muttered. It alternately upset him and
pleased him that she couldn't hear him. It gave him a certain
freedom of expression, but lacked the sense of two-way
communication he grown accustomed to with his partner.

"You were delirious. Suffering from a concussed brain. Not
responsible for action or word."

"I think you'd probably accuse me of that nine-tenths of the time, if
you think about it, partner," he sighed and let his gaze drift over to
his own face. No, that was too disconcerting. He quickly shifted
so that she was all that was in his line of sight.

"So does that mean you love me, or you were out of your mind at
the time you said it?"

He bit his lip, and if he'd been in his body, it would have hurt.
"Scully! How can you ask that? Of course I love you. I've always
loved you!"

"Because Mulder, I know I've never had the guts to tell you, but I
love you. And I don't just mean I want to jump into bed with you
or do some of those things I've seen on your videos . . ."

"You've watched my videos?" he almost shouted and realized she
couldn't hear him. Then, what she'd said just before that shifted
through the jumbled thoughts in his mind. "You love me?" He let
the words settle in his heart. "I knew that, Scully. I did. But it's,
it's really nice to hear it."

"You have shown me so much," she continued. "I know you think
that I hate all the travel, but it's just my way of keeping you from
dragging us off 24 and 7. Honestly, Mulder, I do hate sleeping in
dusty motel rooms and eating out all the time and never having the
same car two weeks in a row."

"Hey, Bruce Wayne never drives the same car twice, if you believe
Batman the animated series," Mulder said, still reeling from her
earlier admission and thoroughly enjoying his position of audience
undetected.

"But I've never hated the cases. And I've never hated working
with you. Oh, sure, there have been a couple of times when I could
have brained you myself . . ."

"Are you going to drag out that dead horse from Chaney, Texas
again?" he moaned.

"But basically, if it weren't for you, I don't know that I could come
up with a good reason to get out of bed in the morning."

"You're the reason I let myself fall asleep at night," he sighed in
response. "Scully, when I almost lost you . . ."

"Mulder, if you don't wake up . . . I don't know if . . ."

He had almost lost her words, he was so busy remembering his own
darkest hours. But by looking at her face, making his 'Memorex'
mind replay her words, he understood.

"I thought we'd agreed you weren't going to ditch me any more,"
she said and her voice caught and more tears careened down her
face. "Don't ditch me, Mulder. Please, please, don't ditch me."

He could never deny her anything. He'd known that for a long
time. He couldn't deny her dignity when she was sick but refused
to allow him to see it. He couldn't deny her a cure when he was
able to find it. He couldn't deny her a daughter, even when he
knew in his heart that it would come to tragedy. He couldn't deny
her life, even if it meant traveling to the ends of the earth to save
her, and at the possible cost of his own life.

How could he deny her this?

"Time to come home," he whispered, but before he closed his eyes,
he placed a kiss on Scully's lips. "A down payment on someday,
Scully," he smiled. She hadn't moved, hadn't felt it. That was all
right, for now. He closed his eyes and let the darkness take him.

************************
September 17, 1998

His head still hurt. A dull ache in the back of his eyes. Just enough
to be really annoying. He imagined what it would be like to open
his eyes and knew that it was going to hurt. A lot.

If it hadn't been for the soft snoring next to him, he would have just
laid there with eyes closed for a long, long time. But then he would
have missed one of his favorite sights. Dana Scully sleeping.

He cracked open his eyes. Yep. Sure enough, pain increased in
direct proportion to the amount of light on his retinas, but he kept
his lids apart. And looked to where he knew she was sitting.

Scully was a fierce warrior, of that he had no doubt. But when she
slept, he saw that little girl that Maggie Scully saw all the time. The
five year old. The twelve year old. It never ceased to make him
smile, even when he was in pain.

His own innate sense of self-preservation had prevented him from
ever telling his partner that she snored.

He was happy, just being next to her. If someone could get rid of
the damned headache, he'd be on cloud nine.

"You're awake!" came a way too cheerful voice attached to a tall,
willowy nurse. Mulder had missed her entrance, he'd been staring
at his partner.

"Shhh," he tried to get the woman to lower her voice, but it was
too late. Scully was awake, too.

"Hey," Scully said, and gave him a slight smile. "Who's the
President?"

"Al Gore?" he responded. "Or the Senate hasn't voted yet, have
they?"

She laughed at his totally un politically correct joke. "OK, wise ass,
how are we going to explain four days in a hospital in Savannah,
Georgia to Kersch?"

Four days? It had been two days when he'd last been awake. He
had some vague memories of being in the room, talking to Scully
but she wouldn't talk back to him. Not directly at least. And a
promise. He'd made a promise to her.

"I'm sorry I ditched you, Scully. I will never do it again. You have
to believe me," he said, and hoped she could see the sincerity in his
eyes.

He was hoping for a smile, but what he got was a sigh. And the
beginnings of tears in her eyes. "You better keep that promise,
mister," she said tensely and then he got his smile. He smiled back.

"But you still have to come up with a good reason for Kersch."

Ah, well, he knew there would be some kind of punishment. At
least it was something he could manage.

the end

Vickie

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Season's Greetings
Peace and Joy

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

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