green guy

The Hitchhiker's Guide to The Galaxy
complete help

THE VOGON SHIP


Where the heck am I?
Why do I get groggy and die?
What's this Guide Ford gives me?
How can I wake Ford?
How do I open the case?
What is the tall dispensing machine?
Why does the machine go "click"?
What is a babel fish?
How can I get a babel fish?
What's the gibberish I hear?
Why are the guards dragging me away?
What happens in Captain's Quarters?
Can I stop being put in the airlock?
Can I survive in outer space?

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Where the heck am I?
  1. As your status line says, you are in the Vogon Hold.
  2. ASK FORD ABOUT THE EARTH.
  3. The Earth has been destroyed by the Vogon fleet. You and Ford have hitched a ride aboard one of the ships of the Vogon Fleet by using the electronic Sub-Etha signaling device, also known as a Thumb.
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Why do I get groggy and die?
  1. This is caused by your protein loss during the matter transference beams.
  2. Do you have anything with a lot of protein in it?
  3. It's something that Ford just gave you.
  4. It's frequently found on shelves behind bars in Pubs.
  5. EAT THE PEANUTS.
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What's this Guide Ford gives me?
  1. That's the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
  2. It's the single most useful thing an intergalactic hitchhiker (or Infocom game player) can have.
  3. See the Hitchhiker's Guide question in the General Questions section for more information.
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How can I wake Ford?
  1. Have you tried WAKE FORD?
  2. You can't wake Ford.
  3. You'll have to get the babel fish on your own.
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How do I open the case?
  1. There's a switch and a keyboard attached to the case.
  2. SAVE first, then try typing on the keyboard. For example, TYPE "HELLO."
  3. Well, perhaps that wasn't such a great idea. Try flipping the switch.
  4. If the recording was gibberish, you'll have to find a way to translate it.
  5. See the question about the babel fish.
  6. Once you have the babel fish, flip the switch again.
  7. Now you know what to type. Just wait around to hear the captain's poetry reading and see the question about what's going on in the Captain's Quarters.
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What is the tall dispensing machine?
  1. Examine it.
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Why does the machine go "click"?
  1. It's out of fish. Time to RESTORE.
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What is a babel fish?
  1. Consult the Guide.
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How can I get a babel fish?
  1. Have you pressed the dispenser button?
  2. You need to block the small hole.
  3. Use the hook above the hole.
  4. Hang something on the hook.
  5. Examine the gown.
  6. Hang the gown on the hook, then press the button again.
  7. You'll have to block the drain.
  8. There's only one thing large enough to completely cover the drain.
  9. Cover the drain with the towel, then push the button again.
  10. You have to block the tiny robot panel.
  11. Standing or lying in front of the panel won't work.
  12. You have to put some object in front of the panel.
  13. If it isn't bulky enough, the cleaning robot dashes around it.
  14. The satchel is bulky. Put it in front of the panel, then push the button again.
  15. At this point, brave men have been known to break down and cry.
  16. Read, very carefully, the paragraph when Ford goes to sleep.
  17. When you placed the satchel in front of the panel, the satchel is now LYING ON ITS SIDE in front of the panel.
  18. You can put an object on top of the satchel.
  19. Put something on the satchel, then push the button again.
  20. The upper-half-of-the-room cleaning robot just manages to catch the second item.
  21. If there were several items on the satchel, they would all fly into the air and confuse the flying robot.
  22. Unfortunately, there's only room for one object on the satchel.
  23. Is there an object that when flung into the air might act as many items?
  24. When the upper-half-of-the-room cleaning robot grabbed the babel fish the first time it said that the fish was "the only flying junk" that the robot found.
  25. Put the junk mail on the satchel, then press the button one last time.
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What's the gibberish I hear?
  1. It's an announcement in Vogonese.
  2. If you want to understand the announcement, you'll have to discover a way to translate it.
  3. See the questions about the babel fish.
  4. The announcement will begin 18 turns after you enter the Vogon Hold, or 3 turns after you obtain the babel fish.
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Why are the guards dragging me away?
  1. See the question about the gibberish from the intercom.
  2. The guards will arrive 36 turns after you arrive in the Vogon Hold, or 5 turns after you obtain a babel fish.
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What happens in Captain's Quarters?
  1. Don't go on unless you've translated the garbled announcement.
  2. Don't go on until you've figured out what's going on with the glass case and switch and keyboard.
  3. You are at a Vogon Poetry Appreciation Session. The Vogon Captain is about to read you his favourite poem. The Guide's entry on Vogon Poetry makes clear that this is extremely nasty.
  4. You should now know that you have to listen to the second verse (not line) of the poem in order to get the atomic vector plotter.
  5. This poetry is painfully awful. Have you tried to STOP THE POETRY or COVER MY EARS or DON'T LISTEN TO THE VOGON POETRY.
  6. When he finishes the first verse the Captain says, "You didn't look like you enjoyed my poetry at all!" and then has you thrown into space.
  7. Why not relax and enjoy it?
  8. ENJOY THE POETRY while the Captain reads the first verse. He will continue on and read the second verse.
  9. Now that you've heard the glass case's recording AND the second verse of the poem, you know what to type on the keyboard to get the atomic vector plotter. (When the guards drag you back into the Vogon Hold, of course.)
  10. For example, if the recording asked you to type the second word from the second verse, and the word was "lyshus," you should type TYPE "LYSHUS" when you get back to the Vogon Hold. NOTE: Each time you play the game, the lines of the second verse come in different orders. Similarly, the glass case's recording asks for a different number word each time you play.
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Can I stop being put in the airlock?
  1. There's no way to prevent this.
  2. However, you should make sure that you've accomplished everything that needs to be accomplished aboard the Vogon ship before this occurs.
  3. You should have gotten the atomic vector plotter.
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Can I survive in outer space?
  1. Yes. In fact, there's no way to NOT survive it.
  2. If you wait, you'll find yourself in the Dark again.
  3. Examine the Thumb while in the Airlock.
  4. Apparently, there's another spaceship nearby. Try hitchhiking by pressing the green button.
  5. This sends you through a matter transference beam, and you find yourself in the Dark again.
  6. Both methods of surviving the Airlock are equivalent.
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MAIN INDEX
ON THE EARTH
IN THE DARK
THE HEART OF GOLD
ON TRAAL
ON DAMOGRAN
AT THE PARTY
EARTH, REVISITED
WAR CHAMBER/MAZE
INSIDE THE WHALE
GENERAL QUESTIONS
MISCELLANEOUS

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