>US Air Force Squawks
>--------------------------
>>Joke Category = True Stories -- Rating = G
>
>Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by
>US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance
>crews. "Squawks" are problem listings that pilots generally
>leave for maintenance crews.
>
>
> Problem: "Left inside main tire almost needs replacement."
> Solution: "Almost replaced left inside main tire."
>
> Problem: "Test flight OK, except autoland very rough."
> Solution: "Autoland not installed on this aircraft."
>
> Problem #1: "#2 Propeller seeping prop fluid."
> Solution #1: "#2 Propeller seepage normal."
> Problem #2: "#1, #3, and #4 propellers lack normal seepage."
>
> Problem: "The autopilot doesn't."
> Signed off: "IT DOES NOW."
>
> Problem: "Something loose in cockpit."
> Solution: "Something tightened in cockpit."
>
> Problem: "Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear."
> Solution: "Evidence removed."
>
> Problem: "DME volume unbelievably loud."
> Solution: "Volume set to more believable level."
>
> Problem: "Dead bugs on windshield."
> Solution: "Live bugs on order."
>
> Problem: "Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent."
> Solution: "Cannot reproduce problem on ground."
>
> Problem: "IFF inoperative."
> Solution: "IFF inoperative in OFF mode."
>
> Problem: "Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick."
> Solution: "That's what they're there for."
>
> Problem: "Number three engine missing."
> Solution: "Engine found on right wing after brief search."
>