>TIPS FOR NORTHENERS MOVING TO THE SOUTH
>                                                                             
>1.     	Save all manner of bacon grease.  You will be instructed later
>how to use
>it.                                                              
>
>2.     	If you forget a Southerner's name, refer to him (or her) as
>"Bubba". You have a 75% chance of being
>right.                                
>
>3.      Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can.
>Stay home the two days of the year it
>snows.                              
>
>4.     	If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in
>the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain
>will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their
>way.This is what they live
>for.                                                
>
>5.     	Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same
>store.                                                                  
>
>6.     	Do not buy food at the movie store.                           
>
>7.     	If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking,let
>alone eating.                                                       
>
>8.     	Remember: "Y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural. "All
>y'all's" is plural
>possessive.                                            
>
>9.     	There is nothing sillier than a Northerner imitating a southern
>accent, unless it is a southerner imitating a Boston accent.          
>
>10.    	Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are you?    
>
>11.    	People walk slower here.                                      
>
>12.    	Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't
>understand you, either.                                     
>
>13.    	The first Southern expression to creep into a transplanted
>Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "Big ol'", as in "big ol'
>truck" or "big ol' boy". Eighty-five percent begin their new southern
>influenced dialect with this expression. One hundred percent are in
>denial about it.                                                   
>
>14.    	The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer
>proper.                                                             
>
>15.    	Be advised: The "He needed killin'" defense is valid here.  
>
>16.    	If attending a funeral in the South, remember, we stay until the
>last shovel of dirt	is thrown on and the tent is torn down.      
>
>17.    	If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this!" stay
>out of his way.  These are likely the last words he will ever say.  
>
>18.    	Most Southerners do not use turn signals, and they ignore those
>who do. In fact, if you see a signal blinking on a car with a southern
>license plate, you may rest assured that it was on when the car was
>purchased.                                                     
>
>19.    	Northerners can be identified by the spit on the inside of their
>car's windshiel that comes from yelling at other drivers.           
>
>20.    	The winter wardrobe you always brought out in September can wait
>until 	November.                                                      
>
>21.    	If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the
>most minuscule accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the
>local grocery store. It does not matter if you need anything from the
>store, it is just something you're supposed to
>do.                          
>
>22.    	Satellite dishes are very popular in the South. When you
>purchase one it is to be positioned directly in front of your trailer. 
>This is logical bearing in mind that the dish cost considerably more
>than the trailer and should, therefore, be displayed.               
>
>23.    	Tornadoes and Southerners going through a divorce have a lot in
>common. In either case, you know someone is fixin' to lose them a
>trailer.                                                                 
>
>24.    	Florida is not considered a southern state. There are far more
>Yankees than Southerners living there.                                 
>
>25.    	In southern churches you will hear the hymn, "All Glory, Laud
>and Honor". You will also hear expressions such as, "Laud, have mercy",
>"Good Laud", and "Laudy, Laudy,
>Laudy".                                      
>
>26.    	As you are cursing the person driving 15 mph in a 55 mph zone,
>directly in the middle of the road, remember, many folks learned to
>drive on a model of vehicle known as John Deere, and this is the proper
>speed and lane position for the
>vehicle.                                      
>
>27.    	You can ask a Southerner for directions, but unless you already
>know the positions of key hills, trees, rocks, and where buildings used
>to stand, you're better off trying to find it
>yourself.
>
>