Things You Don't Want to Overhear Over an Airline P.A. System: from
>RDoctor183
>
>1. Ocean crossing flight: This is your Captain speaking, I just wanted 
to
>take this time to remind you that your seat cushions can be used as
>floatation devices.
>
>2. Hey folks, were going to play a little game of geography trivia. If
>you can recognize where we are, tell your flight attendant and receive 
an
>extra pack of peanuts.
>
>3. Our loss of altitude allows a unique close up perspective of the
>local terrain. I assure you that it's all part of our airlines new
>commitment to make your a flight a sight seeing extravaganza.
>
>4. Goose! Bogey at 2 o'clock....one on our tail!!!! Eject!!!! 
Eject!!!!!!!
>
>5. ummmmmm....Sorry......(silence)
>
>6. (As the plane turns around right after takeoff)....uhhhhh....we have 
to go
>back ....we ..we ....uhhhhhh ....forgot something.....
>
>7. I'm sure everyones noticed the loss of an engine, however the
>reduction in weight and drag will mean we'll be flying much more
>efficiently now. (ironic note: this is actually true for prop 
aircraft!)
>
>8. Fasten your seatbelt. (same tone your friend with the suicidal
>driving tendencies uses when you get in the car)
>
>9. This is your Captain speaking....these damn planes are a lot
>different than the ships I'm used to..so you'll have to give me some
>leeway......
>
>10. It would be a good idea if right now everyone closed their shades 
and
>watched the inflight movie.
>
>11. We've now reached our cruising altitude of 20,000 feet and Oh
>crap...
>
>12. Don't worry that one is always on E...
>
>13. Get the parachutes ready...
>
>14. Drinks are on me...or I'll have what the Captain's having...
>
>15. Hey capt'n take another hit man...
>