>>> Hello, and thank you for reading this letter.  You see, there is a
>starving
>>> little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who as no arms, no legs, no
>parents,
>>> and no pecker.  This little boy's life could be saved, because for 
every
>>> time you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Starving 
Legless
>>> Armless Parentless Peckerless Little Boys from 
Baklaliviatatlaglooshen
>Fund.
>>>  Remember, we have no way of counting letters sent.  So go on, reach 
out.
>>>
>>> Send this to 5 people in the next 47 seconds.  Oh, and a reminder- 
if you
>>> accidentally send this to 4 or 6 people, you will die instantly and 
a mad
>>> goat will rape your dead body.  Thanks again!!
>>>
>>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
>>> Chain Letter Type lI:  Make a wish!!!
>>>
>>> (This is where you have to scroll down)
>>>
>>> Really, go on and make one wish!!!
>>>
>>> Oh please, s/he'll never go out with you!!!
>>>
>>> Wish something else!!!
>>>
>>> Not *that* either, you pervert!!
>>>
>>> Is your finger getting tired yet?
>>>
>>> You Can Stop now moron!!!!!!!!
>>>
>>> Wasn't that fun?  Hope you made a great wish.  Now, to make you feel
>guilty,
>>> here's what I'll do.  First of all, if you don't send this to a 
certain
>>> number of people in the next 5 seconds, you will be raped by a mad 
goat
>and
>>> then thrown off a high building into a pile of manure.  It's true!
>Because
>>> , you now, THIS letter isn't like all of those fake ones, THIS one 
is
>TRUE!!
>>> Really!!! Here's how it goes.
>>>
>>> Send this to 1 person: One person will be upset with you for sending 
them
>a
>>> stupid chain letter.
>>>
>>> Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be upset with you for 
sending
>them
>>> a stupid chain letter.
>>>
>>> 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be upset with at you for sending them 
a
>stupid
>>> chain letter.
>>>
>>> 10-20 people: 10-20 people will be upset with at you for sending 
them a
>>> stupid chain letter.
>>>
>>> 20 to 674,951 1/2 people: 20 to 674,951 1/2 people will be upset 
with you
>>> for sending them a stupid chain letter.
>>>
>>> Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!
>>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>>
>>> Chain Letter Type III
>>>
>>> Hi there!!  This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This 
is
>>> absolutely incredible because there was no email then and probably 
not as
>>> many little 8 year olds writing chain letters. So this is how it 
works.
>Pass
>>> this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something horrible 
will
>>> happen to you like:
>>>
>>> Queer Horror Story #1
>>> Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had
>recently
>>> received this letter and ignored it.  She then tripped in a crack in 
the
>>> side walk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe in a 
flood of
>>> poop, and went flying out over a waterfall.  Not only did she smell
>nasty,
>>> she died. This Could Happen To You!!!
>>>
>>> Queer Horror Story #2
>>> Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and 
ignored
>it
>>> .  Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his boyfriend 
(hey,
>some
>>> people swing that way, especially at Oklahoma City University).  
They
>both
>>> died and went to hell. They continued to suffer in hell where they 
were
>both
>>> cursed to eat adorable kittens every day for eternity.  This Could 
Happen
>To
>>> You!!!
>>>
>>> Remember, you could end up like Pinsley and Bip did.  Just send this
>letter
>>> to all of your loser friends, and everything will be Ok.
>>>
>>> Of course, there's the guy in Peoria Illinois who DID forward this 
on and
>>> then he married his secret crush, they moved to the suburbs, had 2.3
>>> children and lived happily ever after.
>>>
>>> Right up until he started working late every night, started an 
affair
>with
>>> his secretary and boozing.  Then she started sleeping with the golf 
pro
>at
>>> the local country club, became addicted to sleeping pills and their 
2.3
>>> children got into gangs and drugs. Then everything went to hell, and 
they
>>> got divorced.  She got the house and the kids, and he got the car 
and
>child
>>> support payment, and got to keep the mortgage payment, lost his job 
and
>his
>>> car and now is working the midnight shift at the local McDonald's.
>>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>>
>>> Chain Letter Type IV
>>>
>>> As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote.  Send it to every one 
of
>your
>>> friends.
>>>
>>> Friends
>>> - A friend is someone who is always at your side,
>>> - A friend is someone who likes you even though you smell like a wet 
dog,
>>> - A friend is someone who likes you even though you're disgustingly 
ugly,
>>> - A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've soiled 
yourself,
>>> - A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you cry 
about
>>>    your loser life,
>>> - A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really 
think
>>>    you should be raped by a mad goat and then thrown to vicious 
dogs, - A
>>> friend is someone who scrubs your toilet and vacuums and then gets
>>>   the check and leaves and doesn't speak much English no, sorry 
that's
>>>  the cleaning lady,
>>>
>>> Now pass this on! If you don't, Satan will send dogs in heat to your 
room
>in
>>> your sleep!!
>>>
>>> There.   Now that we've covered and dumped on the four main types of
>chain
>>> letters, onto the ironic part.  In order for this to get any 
popularity,
>>> send it on!!!  If you don't think it was funny at all, don't bother, 
but
>>> otherwise forward this sucker to everyone you know!!  If you don't, 
I
>don't
>>> care.  Thanks!
>>>
>>> Remember, the moral of the story is, if you get a chain letter, 
ignore
>it.
>>>
>>> TRASH IT!!!  If it's a joke or something, send it, sure! Just don't
>forget
>>> to delete the chain letter part.  But if it's gonna make people feel
>guilty
>>> (i.e. the willieless boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen) or nervous 
(i.e.
>>> Miranda Pinsley who ended up in a waterfall of poop), just DELETE 
it.
>>>
>>> Do yourself a favor, and everyone else in the world, and say NO!!! 
to
>>> BLOODY CHAIN LETTERS!!"  Thank you.