>                       90'S JARGON
>
>ALPHA GEEK - The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in
>an office or work group.  "Ask Larry, he's the alpha geek around
>here."
>
>ASSMOSIS - The process by which some people seem to absorb success
>and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
>
>BEEPILEPSY - The brief seizure people sometimes have when their
>beeper goes off (especially in vibrator mode).  Characterized by
>physical spasms, goofy facial expressions, and interruption of speech
>in mid-sentence.
>
>CHIPS AND SALSA - Chips hardware, salsa software.  "Well, first we
>gotta figure out if the problem's in your chips or your salsa."
>
>CRAPPLET - A badly written or profoundly useless Java applet.  "I
>just wasted 30 minutes downloading this stinkin' crapplet!"
>
>DANCING BALONEY - Little animated GIFs and other Web F/X that are
>useless and serve simply to impress clients.  "This page is kinda
>dull.  Maybe a little dancing baloney will help."
>
>DEPOTPHOBIA - Fear associated with entering a Home Depot because of
>how much money one might spend. Electronics geeks experience
>Shackophobia.
>
>FLIGHT RISK - Used to describe employees who are suspected of
>planning to leave a company or department soon.
>
>404 - Someone who's clueless.  From the World Wide Web error message
>"404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be
>located."Don't bother asking him. . . he's 404, man."
>
>GENERICA - Features of the American landscape that are exactly the
>same no matter where one is.  "We were so lost in generica, I
>actually forgot what city we were in."
>
>GOOD JOB - A "GET-OUT-OF-DEBT" JOB.  A well-paying job people take in
>order to pay off their debts, one that they will quit as soon as they
>are solvent again.
>
>IRRITAINMENT - Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying,
>but you find yourself unable to stop watching them.  The O.J. trials
>were a prime example.
>
>KEYBOARD PLAQUE - The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on
>computer keyboards.
>
>MIDAIR PASSENGER EXCHANGE - Grim air-traffic-controller-speak for a
>head-on collision.  Midair passenger exchanges are quickly followed
>by "aluminum rain."
>
>NYETSCAPE - Nickname for AOL's less-than-full-featured Web browser.
>
>OHNOSECOND - That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize
>that you've just made a BIG mistake.  Seen in Elizabeth P. Crowe's
>book The Electronic Traveller.  (Like when you type rm -Rf *, and
>realize you are in  /, and not in the directory you thought you were
>in.)
>
>PEBCAK - Tech support shorthand for "Problem Exists Between Chair and
>Keyboard."  (Techies are a frustrated, often arrogant lot. They've
>submitted numerous acronyms and terms that poke fun at the clueless
>users who call them up with frighteningly stupid questions. Another
>variation on the above is ID10T: "This guy has an ID-Ten-T on his
>system.")
>
>PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE - The fine art of whacking the crap out of an
>electronic device to get it to work again.
>
>PRAIRIE DOGGING - When someone yells or drops something loudly in a
>"cube farm" (an office full of cubicles) and everyone's heads pop up
>over the walls to see what's going on.
>
>SEAGULL MANAGER - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps
>over everything and then leaves.
>
>SQUARE-HEADED GIRLFRIEND - Another word for a computer.  The victim
>of a square-headed girlfriend is a "computer widow."
>
>TELEPHONE NUMBER SALARY - A salary (or project budget) that has seven
>digits.
>
>TOURISTS - People who take training classes just to get a vacation
>from their jobs.  "We had about three serious students in the class;
>the rest were tourists."
>
>UMFRIEND - A sexual relation of dubious standing.  "This is Dale,
>my...um...friend..."
>
>UNINSTALLED - Euphemism for being fired.  Heard on the voicemail of a
>vice president at a downsizing computer firm:  "You have reached the
>number of an uninstalled vice president.  Please dial our main number
>and ask the operator for assistance."  See also Decruitment.
>
>VULCAN NERVE PINCH - The taxing hand position required to reach all
>of the appropriate keys for certain commands.  For instance, the warm
>boot for a Mac II involves simultaneously pressing the Control key,
>the Command key, the Return key and the Power On key.
>
>YUPPIE FOOD STAMPS - The ubiquitous $20 bills spewed out of ATMs
>everywhere.  Often used when trying to split the bill after a meal:
>"We all owe $8 each, but all anybody's got is yuppie food stamps."