Quotes from rec.arts.drwho, alt.drwho.creative and uk.media.tv.sf.drwho

Wed, 23 Apr 97
Steph any Younes
Hello dear collectors,
Interesting oncoming sale in Paris the 24th april :
Old masters drawings under MMillon and associs's hammer...

Jason
I'd like to buy anything by Anthony Ainley please, unless you have a few Del gado watercolours. Oh, and anything by Roberts during his see-through jelly period, preferably in charcoals...

friendsified titles
K. Michael Wilcox came up with a lot of these, but I've lost the attribs for mo st of the ones he didn't. Sorry.

Let's begin, as they say, at the beginning.

"An Unearthly Child" (or whatever) -- "The One with the Cavemen"
"The Daleks" -- "The One with the Daleks" (What? It works.)
"The Edge of Destruction" -- "The One wit h No Guest Stars"
"Marco Polo" -- "The One with the Footprint"
"The Keys of Marinus" -- "The One with Disconnected Set Pieces"
"The Aztecs" -- "The One with Human Sacrifices"
"The Sensorites" -- "The One with Aliens Who Can't Tell Each Other A part"
"The Reign of Terror" -- "The One with Frenchmen"
"Planet of Giants" -- "The One with Big Dead Bugs"
"The Dalek Invasion of Earth" -- "The One with the Landmarks"
"The Rescue" -- "The One with Koquillion"
The Romans" -- "The One with Lyres and Fires"
"The Web Planet" -- "The One with Big Talking Bugs"
"The Crusade" -- "The One with Saracens"
"The Space Museum" -- "The One with the Skipped Time Track"
"The Chase" -- "The One with the Beatles"
"The Time Meddler" -- "The O ne with Vikings"
"Galaxy 4" -- "The One with the Evil Babes"
"Mission to the Unknown" -- "The One with No Regulars"
"The Myth Makers" -- "The One with the Horse"
"The Daleks' Masterplan" -- "The One with Twelve Episodes"
"The Massacre" -- " The One with the Lookalike"
"The Ark" -- "The One with the Mop-Tops"
"The Celestial Toymaker" -- "The One with the Doctor's Voice"
"The Gunfighters" -- "The One with the 'Ballad of the Last Chance Saloon'"
"The Savages" -- "The One with Nobody Dying"
"The War Machines" -- "The One with 'Doctor Who'"
"The Smugglers" -- "The One with the Smugglers" (I don't know it. Sorry.)
"The Tenth Planet" -- "The One with Regeneration"
"Power of the Daleks" -- "The One with the New Doctor"

Christopher Fare
Allow me to take over for the Second Doctor:

The Highlanders - "The One Where Jamie Joins"
The Underwater Menace - "The One With the Mad Scientist"
The Moonbase - "The One With The Tea Tray"
The Macra Terror - "The One With the Crabs"
The Fa celess Ones - "The One Set In The Airport"
The Evil of the Daleks - "The One With The Final End"
The Tomb of the Cybermen - "The One With Bad Special Effects"
The Abominable Snowmen - "The One With the Buddhists"
The Ice Warriors - "The One Wi th Bernard Bresslaw"
The Enemy of the World - "The One Without Monsters"
The Web of Fear - "The One in the Underground"
Fury From the Deep - "The One With the Foam"
The Wheel in Space - "The One On the Space Station"
The Dominators - "The O ne Nobody Remembers"
The Mind Robber - "The One You Can't Classify"
The Invasion - "The One With the Cybermen at St. Paul's"
The Krotons - "The One With Crap Monsters"
The Seeds of Death - "The One With the Pods"
The Space Pirates - "The Ot her One Nobody Remembers"
The War Games - "The Really Long One With the Time Lords"

K.M. Wilcox
It doesn't hurt to have alternatives, so here are my Second Doctor name ideas.

"The Highlanders" -- "The One with the Scots"
"The Underwate r Menace" -- "The One with Atlantis"
"The Moonbase" -- "The One with Scientist Ben"
"The Macra Terror" -- "The One with Just One Crab"
"The Faceless Ones" -- "The One with the Travel Agents"
"The Evil of the Daleks" -- "The One with Happy Dale ks"
"The Tomb of the Cybermen" -- "The One with the Doctor's Family in his Head"
"The Abominable Snowmen" - "The One with Non-Meddling Monks"
"The Ice Warriors" -- "The One with Martians"
"The Enemy of the World" -- "The One with a Salamander but No Newt"
"The Web of Fear" -- "The One with Colonel Lethbridge-Stewart"
"Fury From the Deep" -- "The One with Victoria's Screams Actually Helping"
"The Wheel in Space" -- "The One with Zoe"
"The Dominators" -- "The One with Zoe's Knickers"
"The Mind Robber" -- "The One with Two Jamies"
"The Invasion" -- "The One with the Fashion Models"
"The Krotons" -- "The One with Companions"
"The Seeds of Death" -- "The One with Weird Weather Worldwide"
"The Space Pirates" -- "The One wi th Dom Issigri"
"The War Games" -- "The One with the Doctor's Trial"

Please remember that you don't really need to do Pertwee - most of his stories are already branded "The One With..." anyway.Now we crash into the 1970's.

"Spearhead from Space" -- "The One with No Studio Shooting"
"...Silurians" -- "The One with 'Doctor Who' in the Title"
"The Ambassadors of Death" -- "The One with Britain Leading the Space Race"
"Inferno" -- "The One with the Eyepatch"
"Terror of the Autons" -- "The O ne with the Daffodils"
"The Mind of Evil" -- "The One with Mao's Friend"
"The Claws of Axos" -- "The One with Pigbin Josh"
"Colony in Space" -- "The One with the Surprise Adjudicator"
"The Daemons" -- "The One with the New Vicar"
"Day of th e Daleks" -- "The One with No Master"
"The Curse of Peladon" -- "The One with Good Ice Warriors"
"The Sea Devils" -- "The One with Lots of Boats"
"The Mutants" -- "The One with the Evil Sheriff"
"The Time Monster" -- "The One with Teacups and C^3"
"The Three Doctors" -- "The One with Gell Guards"
"Carnival of Monsters" -- "The One with Palaver"
"Frontier in Space" -- "The One with Draconians"
"Planet of the Daleks" -- "The One with Runny Ice"
"The Green Death" -- "The One with R otating Executives"
"The Time Warrior" -- "The One with No Potatoes, We Promise"
"Invasion of the Dinosaurs" -- "The One with the Spaceship in the Subway"
"Death to the Daleks" -- "The One with Rock Men and Rolling Pepperpots"
"The Monster of Peladon" -- "The One with the Queen Who's a Girl"
"Planet of the Spiders" -- "The One with the Whomobile Chase"

Now here's my stab at the Tom Baker years....

"Robot" -- "The One with the Partially Transparent Giant Robot"
"Ark in Space" -- "The One with the Lady President"
"The Sontaran Experiment" -- "The One with the Hills of Piccadilly Circus"
"Genesis of the Daleks" -- "The One with the Gantry Platform"
"Revenge of the Cybermen" --
"The One with Gold Men, Gold Guns, but No Gold Bullets"
"Terror of the Zygons" -- "The One with the Lady PM"
"Planet of Evil" -- "The One with the Hole at the End of the Universe"
"Pyramids of Mars" -- "The One with the Robot Mummies"
"The Android Invasion" -- "The One with Lookalikes Galore"
"The Brain of Morbius" -- "The One with the Faces"
"The Seeds of Doom" -- "The One with Chop Suey"
"The Masque of Mandragora" -- "The One with the Cockney Italian"
"The Hand of Fear" -- "The One with Andy Pandy"
"The Deadly Assassin" -- "The One with the Goth Who Isn't"
"The Face of Evil" -- "The One with the Man Who Eats Babies"
"The Robots of Death" -- "The One with the Sandminer" (Plug, plug)
"The Talons of Weng-Chiang" -- "The One with the Homunculus"
"The Horror of Fang Rock" -- "The One with No Surviving Guest Stars"
"The Invisible Enemy" -- "The One with the Doctor's Brain"
"Image of the Fendahl" -- "The One with Fendleman"
"The Sunmakers" -- "The One with Job Satisfaction"
"Underworld" -- "The One with Caves Courtesy of CSO"
"The Invasion of Time" -- "The One with the Cockney Sontaran"

Now we continue with the Tom Baker era...

"The Ribos Operation" -- "The One with Scringe Stone"
"The Pirate Planet" -- "The One with the Parrot"
"The Stones of Blood" -- "The One with the Twinkling Judges"
"The Androids of Tara" -- "The One with the Archmandrite's Hat"
"The Power of Kroll" -- "The One with the Swampies"
"The Armageddon Factor" -- "The One with the Cockney Time Lord"
"Destiny of the Daleks" -- "The One with Robots in Dredlocks"
"City of Death" -- "The One with the Mona Lisa and the Mona Lisa and..."
"The Creature from the Pit" -- "The One with the Intelligent Gelatin"
"Nightmare of Eden" -- "The One with the Doctor's Everything"
"The Horns of Nimon" -- "The One with Minotaurs in Tights"
"Shada" -- "The One with Professor Chronotis"
"The Leisure Hive" -- "The One with Green Mobsters"
"Meglos" -- "The One with the Waggling Tail"
"Full Circle" -- "The One with Romana's Veins"
"State of Decay" -- "The One with the Giant Hand"
"Warriors' Gate" -- "The One with Empty Sets"
"The Keeper of Traken" -- "The One with the Master and Tremas"
"Logopolis" -- "The One with 25% of the Universe Being Destroyed"

And now Peter Davison...

"Castrovalva" -- "The One with Spider-Spawn Caught in a Web"
"Four to Doomsday" -- "The One with the Cricket Ball"
"Kinda" -- "The One with the Idiot"
"The Visitation" -- "The One with the Sonic Screwdriver"
"Black Orchid" -- "The One with the Really Big Lip"
"Earthshock" -- "The One with Adric"
"Time-Flight" -- "The One with Planes Arriving Ahead of Schedule"
"Arc of Infinity" -- "The One with Maxil's Hat"
"Snakedance" -- "The One with Nyssa's New Outfit"
"Mawdryn Undead" -- "The One with a Retired Brigadier in 1977"
"Terminus" -- "The One with Nyssa but Not Her New Outfit"
"Enlightenment" -- "The One with the Boat Race"
"The King's Demons" -- "The One with the Iron Maiden"
"The Five Doctors" -- "The One with the Cyberman in Jeans"
"Warriors of the Deep" -- "The One with 'Missile Command'"
"The Awakening" -- "The One with the Queen of the May"
"Frontios" -- "The One with the Rearranged Tardis"
"Resurrection of the Daleks" -- "The One with Weird Non-Nestene Policemen"
"Planet of Fire" -- "The One with the Bikini"
"The Caves of Androzani" -- "The One with the Celery's Purpose"
We hit the home stretch with... the Colin Baker stories!
"The Twin Dilemma" -- "The One with All the Tough Maths"
"Attack of the Cybermen" -- "The One with the Redesigned Tomb"
"Vengeance on Varos" -- "The One with the Bird"
"Mark of the Rani" -- "The One with the Trees"
"The Two Doctors" -- "The One with a Woman Licking the Ground"
"Timelash" -- "The One with the Fan's Painting"
"Revelation of the Daleks" -- "The One with the Styrofoam Statue"
"The Mysterious Planet" -- "The One with the Comprehensive Library"
"Mindwarp" -- "The One with the Altered Footage, Maybe"
"Terror of the Vervoids" -- "The One with the Lax Security"
"The Ultimate Foe" -- "The One with the Megabyte Modem!"

We conclude the TV run with... Sylvester McCoy!

"Time and the Rani" -- "The One with the Unexplained Regeneration"
"Paradise Towers" -- "The One with the Sweet Little Old Ladies"
"Delta and the Bannermen" -- "The One with the Attractive Insects"
"Dragonfire" -- "The One with the Shrinking Cliff"
"Remembrance of the Daleks" -- "The One with the Sweet Little Girl"
"The Happiness Patrol" -- "The One with the Sweet Executioner"
"Silver Nemesis" -- "The One with the Over-Accessorised Radio"
"The Greatest Show in the Galaxy" -- "The One with the Clowns"
"Battlefield" -- "The One with the Lady Brigadier"
"Ghost Light" -- "The One with the Real Neanderthal"
"The Curse of Fenric" -- "The One with the Chess Game"
"Survival" -- "The One with Ace's Thinning Circle of Friends"

"Enemy Within" -- "The One with the Simultaneous Midnights"

NA's anyone?

"Timewyrm: Genesis" -- "The One with the Priestesses"
"Timewyrm: Exodus" -- "The One with the Britischer Freikorps"
"Timewyrm: Apocalypse" -- "The One with the Collapsing Universe"
"Timewyrm: Revelation" -- "The One with the Talking Church"
"Cat's Cradle: Time's Crucible" -- "The One with Rassilon"
"Cat's Cradle: Warhead" -- "The One with Cartmel's Manipulator"
"Cat's Cradle: Witch Mark" -- "The One with the Unicorns"
"Nightshade" -- "The One with the Retired Actor"
"Love and War" -- "The One with the Space Hippies"
"Transit" -- "The One with the Language"
"The Highest Sciene" -- "The One with the Commuters"
"The Pit" -- "The One with the Typewriters"
"Deceit" -- "The One with Abslom Daak"
"Lucifer Rising" -- "The One with the Traitor Ace"
"White Darkness" -- "The One with the Zombies"
"Shadowmind" -- "The One with Telepathic Squirrels"
"Birthright" -- "The One with the Bank Account"
"Iceberg" -- "The One with 70's Leftovers"
"Blood Heat" -- "The One with the New Tardis"
"The Dimension Riders" -- "The One with Romulus and Ferris" [In-joke]
"The Left-Handed Hummingbird" -- "The One with the Breakdancing Doctor"
"Conundrum" -- "The One with Doctor Death"
"No Future" -- "The One with Punker Benny"
"Tragedy Day" -- "The One with the Evil Brat"
"Legacy" -- "The One with Keri, the Fiery Pakhar"

"Theatre of War" -- "The One with the Actors Running Things"
"All-Consuming Fire" -- "The One with the Dueling Diarists"
"Blood Harvest" -- "The One with the Bootlegging Doctor"
"Strange England" -- "The One with the Quack"
"First Frontier" -- "The One with the Tzun"
"St Anthony's Fire" -- "The One with Devout Ace"
"Falls the Shadow" -- "The One with the Emotional Torment" [And that's us!]
"Parasite" -- "The One with the Islands in the Artifact"
"Warlock" -- "The One with the Strong Feelings"
"Set Piece" -- "The One with Dorothy's Last Name"
"Infinite Requiem" -- "The One with the Sensopaths"
"Sanctuary" -- "The One with Sir Guy"
"Human Nature" -- "The One with Wolsey"
"Original Sin" -- "The One with the Overcities"
"Sky Pirates!" -- "The One with Sgloomi Po!"
"Zamper" -- "The One with the Shipworms"
"Toy Soldiers" -- "The One with the Teddy Bears"
"Head Games" -- "The One with the Disillusioned Mel"
"The Also People" -- "The One with the Actual Vacation"
"Shakedown" -- "The One with a Video in the Middle"
"Just War" -- "The One with the Unaltered WWII"
"Warchild" -- "The One with the Psychic Family"
"SLEEPY" -- "The One with the Smart Chris"
"Death and Diplomacy" -- "The One with Jason"
"Happy Endings" -- "The One with the Cricket Match"
"Godengine" -- "The One with the Martian Priests"
"Christmas on a Rational Planet" -- "The One with the Gynoids"
"Return of the Living Dad" -- "The One with David McCallum"

Dennis McLaughlin
Eerie Foreshadowing in "The Left-Handed Hummingbird"
An excerpt from page 177 of "The Left-Handed Hummingbird" by Kate Orman

[Macbeth and Bernice discussing the Doctor's need for medical treatment.]

"Why can't he go to hospital?"
"Because he's from outer crukking space," spat Bernice. "A crukking twentieth-century hospital would probably do a crukking brilliant job of killing him!"

Copyright (c) Kate Orman 1993

Well, I'm sleeping with the lights *on* tonight... :-)

Tue, 22 Apr 1997
Kate Orman
They've slammed the door even more firmly with their "No sex for the Doctor, no sex for the companion" rule. You could imagine Sam growing up a little, and the possibility of a relationship presenting itself... but it's not going to get her anywhere. :-)

Timothy Ferguson
Well, she'd have to leave the series...
Bit of a tradition, really

Kate Orman
I meant a relationship with the Doctor. If they *both* left, the books would become very peculiar indeed, although the monsters probably wouldn't object. :-)

Timothy.Ferguson
T.A.R.D.I.S. MAs.
Interesting thought.
"Susan, now matured by her years amongst the humans hear a dull whine from out on the plain.
"Ah", thought she "all good things..."
Entering the blue box, her few treasured memories bundled in a carrybag, she found a little yellow note stuck to the console.
"Dear Susan,
Am entering second childhood / midlife and the T.A.R.D.I.S. dislikes new blonde girlfriend. Please keep the old girl company.

Yours,

?

13 Apr 1997
K. Michael Wilcox
ObWho: What if, by some fluke, Peter Cushing had won Best Actor for the first film? How would the history of Who have changed?

Jon Blum
Future location shooting would have become much more difficult -- the drop in Britain's mean temperature after hell froze over would limit the amount of time people could be outdoors, and the swarms of flying pigs overhead would have created additional problems...

15 Apr 1997
rec.arts.drwho
jguest
There's a Cross over for you! Doctor Who travels through space. Upon reaching Earth, he finds that it has been altered... changed. Stay tuned as Doctor Who takes on the rodent Menace! The Doctor Meets Pinky and The Brain!

Brain: The unruly Time lord is trying to Thwart my Plans Pinky. Ah But I have a plan... We'll take his Tardis, Travel to the Origen of his Home planet, and we will Take over his World!
Pinky: I dunno Brain. I mean, how can a little old police box get to another world. Kinda silly isn't it? Plus if we leave this planet who'll be here to try and take it over?
*Smack*
Pinky: Narf! Ouch why'd you do that Brain?
Brain: Your Locic was begining to frighten me Pinky. Now... are you pondering whay I'm pondering?
Pinky: I think so.... but if you throw Gold Dust at a cyber Man, then what will you use to buy gum balls?

Wed, 12 Mar 97
Jean-Marc Lofficier
I think Doctor 4 shagged all his companions (excluding Tegan and Nyssa at the end).

Keith Topping
What, including Harry? I didn't know he was "that way inclined"...

Jean-Marc Lofficier
You got me there. No, not Harry, obviously. My mistake. (I was thinking of the female companions in his case.)

Keith Topping
Way-hey! I've *got* Jean-Marc (it's only taken me eighteen months - my life's work is finished...)

rec.arts.drwho
Fri, 7 Mar 1997
The Flying Dutchman - sgloomi@zip.com.au
We love You.

Dave Stone
Ah, but do we wub him 'cause he's a li'l snooky woo-woo - or is it a big firm manly love that dare not speak his name, such as we feel for John Long?
Lovely email address, by the way.

Thu, 06 Mar 1997
Modina Vont
Only one of us can continue to exist here, Orman.
I'm not going anywhere.
Don't resist me. I possess powers that you cannot comprehend.
And stay out of this, Blum. You deserve better.

Jon Blum
There's only one possible response to a post like this...
*splats "Tom" in the face with a giant banana cream pie*

Thu, 06 Mar 1997
Randy Jean-Marc Lofficier
That's very interesting. I hadn't thought of it that way, but I see your point. A friend of mine would put it that way: TREK is more horizontal while WHO is more vertical.

Peter Anghelides
ISTR one of the objections to the TVM was that the Doctor was in danger of becoming more horizontal.

rec.arts.drwho
Mon, 17 Mar 1997
Mark Ward
Can anyone suggest 10 uses for a guinea-pig?

Kender Dragon
Top Ten Doctor Who-Related And Therefore At Least Marginally On-Topic Uses For a Guinea-Pig

10. Give to Davros in "Genesis" so he creates very small Daleks
9. Maybe Nyssa can test a disease cure on it
8.Emergency substitute for the Key of Rassilon in a Demat Gun
[only works once]
7. Generate new regenerations using the Loom of Rassilon's Guinea-Pig
6. Give Grace something to practice on so she doesn't kill the Seventh Doctor
5. Leela could hunt it and cook it for dinner
4. GUIN-EA PIG MUST BE EX-TERM-IN-ATE-D!!!! (Now's our chance! When I say run ...)
3. Tear up TVM script, use it to line guinea pig cage, scriptwriter writes new script with no retconning
2. Disposal of excess jelly-babies

AND NOW, THE NUMBER ONE DOCTOR WHO-RELATED USE FOR A GUINEA-PIG:

1. Richard Gere it on someone who makes a blatantly offensive and off-topic post in the middle of a discussion on possible newsgroup moderation!

Sun, 16 Mar 1997
Peter Anghelides
I have some complaints for Dapol:

1. My Skaro seems to have been destroyed.
2. My Logopolis is full of mysterious holes
3. The instructions for assembling my Castrovalva make no sense whatsoever.
4. My Panopticon set has a big black hole in the middle
5. My yellow roadster has been mistakenly named "BESSIE", so I have returned it.
6. I thought I'd bought Kroll in the large size, but it turned out to be a bag of five thousand small ones.
7. My Krynoid appears to have eaten all my spinach.

I'm told that John Peel Enterprises are bringing out a replacement for the Skaro set - when is this available?

15 Mar 1997
T.D.
I think most people here agree that Jon Blum contributes a lot to this newsgroup. However, he can't be on the computer all the time. I think there should be a second Jon Blum, whose purpose is mainly to help out new people in the newsgroup. This would by no means replace the original Jon Blum, only supplement him. After a while, newbies could then "graduate" to the original Jon Blum. I have studied the overall approach of Jon Blum for some time now, and I would like to try being the "new" Jon Blum, but only if the newsgroup votes in favor of it.

Jon Blum
I'm not sure whether to appreciate this as a great parody of this whole moderation thing, or run screaming for my mommy saying that the Pod People are out to replace me...

Diane L. Schirf
Not replace you. _Clone_ you.
And, no. I will NOT say "Jon Blum is not a sheep." 'Kay? :)

12 Mar 1997
Dennis McLaughlin
I am in the middle of "Blood Heat" and have thus far been unable to locate "The Dimension Riders" or "The Left-Handed Hummingbird" anywhere in Chicago

Robert Smith?
Try Cambridge and Mexico City, respectively.

29 Mar 1997
Waxvax
Mr Mccoy starred as a leprechan in something called LEAPING LEPRECHANS. He played a good sized role too, not just an extra.

Robert Smith?
*Ahem*

Look, I do the appalling puns in this newsgroup, okay?

19 Mar 1997
Kate Orman
Re: Simultaneous Doctors
Every girl's ambition.

18 Mar 1997
ljparkin@aol.com
There's nothing in CF that states that Camfield regenerates into Hartnell. It's *sort* of cleared up a bit in 'Lungbarrow', but you have to put one and seven together to get sixteen.

Mon, 7 Apr 1997
mailserv.cuhk.edu.hk
Just as there are physical laws that govern the physical universe, so are there spiritual laws which govern your relationship with God.

Barry Vaughan
Thou shalt always arrive just before the aliens invade/enact their master plan.
Thou shalt always bear an uncanny resemblance to one of the races involved in any war. They shalt be the good guys.
Thou shalt spend a disproportionately large amount of time on Earth and always show up during recognisable periods in history.
Thou shalt change the rules as thou see fit if it makes the story better.

Mon, 14 Apr 1997
Keith Topping
The company who have been producing the books of his adventures for the last decade are called Virgin. You work it out...

Ben White
So what happens when he's not Virgin anymore?

Keith Topping
He becomes a Big Bonking Cock. Obviously.

28 Apr 1997
Ken Mann
There are some interesting parallels here. It seems strangely appropriate that a discussion about dalek continuity should end up as a arguement between two factions, not easily distinguishable to outsiders, one of which remains faithful to the creator of the daleks.

1 May 1997
William Louis Andrew Ingram
So what is JNT up to these days?

TrboTurtle
No good ?

Robert Smith?
(I'm sorry - I'd tried to resist the temptation, but...)
1) About 5'9"
2) The letter M
3) Volume three

Thu, 01 May 1997
Kender Dragon
Most of us post from behind the sofa, but this one's posting from under the bridge. Troll for sure.

Wed, 30 Apr 1997
Greg McElhatton
(No thanks on Tom, though, and the idea of Pertwee in the buff, YIKES. Troughton would be like having sex with an uncle or something...)

Dave Stone
Is somebody else going to be the first to say it, or do I have to? Yuk.

Greg McElhatton
I've made Dave Stone go "Yuk". This must be an accomplishment of some sort.

Wed, 30 Apr 1997
Alden Bates
I mean fanboy, of course. OK, limited scope here, I did actually find some people who had, um, yes. And Dave Stone, well, he doesn't uphold the stereotype very well. If at all.

Dave Stone
Oh, I uphold the stereotype very well. Just not of a Doctor Who fan ...

Fri, 02 May
T Pinnell
What was the updated Sontaran show?

K. M. Wilcox
That was "Mr. and Mrs. Styme", an American sitcom about a Sontaran who's stranded in 1990's California where he settles down and gets married. It starred Brian Thomspon (from "The X-Files") as Styme and Rebecca Gayheart (from "Earth2") as Jane. Only six episodes were made (and only four of those ever aired) before it was cancelled. I saw them all, but never thought to tape it. The last one shown had them going on vacation in Idaho, where Styme was mistaken for a giant potato.

[Insert smiley here]
The theme song, sung by the stars, was cute.

Brigadier dating
Brigadier Nathan Rogers
:: looks at topic ::
I'd just to say that I don't have a girlfriend at the ...

.... oh *that* Brigadier :) Never mind ...

Fri, 02 May 1997
Bygrinstow
In the Tenth Planet, the Doctor puts a question to the Cybermen:
"Emotions... Love, pride, hate, fear--have you no emotions, sir?"
What does the Cyberman he addresses say in response?

Diane L. Schirf
"What's love got to do, got to do with it?
What's love but a secondhand emotion? "

(somewhere, a smiley flashes some leg)

Sun, 4 May 1997
TrboTurtle
So tell me Keith, Who did you vote for in the election ???

Keith Topping
No, shan't. My vote is between myself and the ballot box; we have a secret franchise in this country and have had since 1832 and the Great Reform act, people have fought and died in two world wars to protect that freedom and I...

Oh bugger it - LABOUR!!!!!!!

"Still drinking Thursday nights (red) champagne..."

Sat, 03 May 1997
John Peel
And all I'm saying is that a truck, traveling just a tad faster than a small girl, should have made it back before she did, not after. Simple physics.

Alden Bates
[scene: cemetary exterior. the girl comes belting out of the gates and leaps into the waiting Dalekmobile. The black Dalek in the driver's seat directs its eye stalk at her.]

GIRL: Hit the accelerator! We have to get back to the junkyard before they do!
DALEK: YOU HAVE NOT FAS-TENED YOUR SAFE-TY BELT.
GIRL: Yes, boss. *click*
DALEK: ATOM-IC BATT-ER-IES TO POWER, TUR-BINES TO SPEED

[The Dalekmobile roars off into the distance, flames jetting from the exhaust.]
[

Alden Bates.
Pft! All this fuss over a simple tiny flesh wound! Sgloomi, you big baby! Eesh, you'd thing he'd never been hit by a hollow-tip bullet before. :-)

Dave Stone
Is Sgloomi say something-type thing to nasty Alden - is how you say Sgloomi be *he*?
Sgloomi be lovely androgynous snooky woo-woo thing, is both boy and girl-type kissy lovely and so gets to rumpo jolly yum-yum with everybody!
So there.

Brigadier Nathan Rogers
So does that mean Sgloomi can snog and be snogged at the same time? :)

Dave Stone
With hirself, as I understand it.

Mon, 5 May 1997
Dave Stone
Incidentally, how far could the roar of joy he heard when they announced that Portillo had been soundly thrashed by Stephen Twig?

Keith Topping
The whole thing was *funny* - particularly the snigger that went around the hall (and the nation!) when it was announced that Porta-loo's middle names were "Denzil Xavier" - well, you would, wouldn't you?!

Dave Stone
Also (and just 'cause *I* didn't know until someone mentioned it) the archetypical gay Tory hypocrite being beaten by an out gay man ...

Sun, 04 May 1997
Brigadier Nathan Rogers
The question is ... who's more corrupt? The High Council or the US Senate :)

Peter Anghelides
I hear that the Patrixes just lost by a landslide, and that they now have absolutely no cousins in Lungbarrow whatsoever. Tee hee.

Mon, 05 May 1997
K. Michael Wilcox
Much to Alden's horror, he discovers one night that Mistress Mel is not Bonnie Langford's nastier twin, but the late Vic Tayback's.
[Insert smiley here]

Mistress Mel
I'm sorry, but Alden is unable to rebut this outrageous assertion on account of the fact that he's a little tied up at the moment.

However, if Mr Wilcox continues in this manner, I'll have no recourse but to give him a good spanking.

http://www.wn.planet.gen.nz/~abates/mel/mismel.html
Enquire within for hourly rates.

Tue, 06 May 1997
Michael Lee
I would be curious to see if the new "adult" Doctor Who book series has brought in anyone who was not previously a Doctor Who *TV* fan.

Kate Orman
Me too - I'd love to get my paws on those reader surveys Virgin did. I do know of individual instances of non-fans getting "hooked" on the NAs, and more cases of fans "coming back" after losing interest in the show, but I've no idea what proportion of rea ders weren't already dans.

R.J. Smith
Not many, I'd say. Most of them seem to be Daves.

David Versace
All part of our programming.
Dave #4675-97717623
Cyberdyne Systems Model Z3000 (popularly known as the Fanbot)

5 May 1997
Chris Krisocki
I take back what I said about The Horns of Nimon 4. The Dalek Invasion of Earth 3 is a whole 5 seconds longer, at 26:50.

Robert Smith?
Yes, but The Web Planet episode four clocks in at seven years, three months, eleven days, two minutes and 47 seconds, only slightly ahead of The Dominators, episode two.

rec.arts.drwho
15 May 1997
Janie Montz
Does anybody notice how gay the NA's appear to be?

Kate Orman
Camp as a UNIT bivouac, darling. :-)

rec.arts.drwho
Wed, 14 May 1997
chall1@usa.pipeline.com
Sure, we get the heated debates here and there, but as long as Peel and Topping both exist in the same universe, it's going to happen. And at least they're both intelligent,

Keith Topping
No I'm not. That's a disgraceful slur...

rec.arts.drwho
Sun, 11 May 1997
Chuck Foster
What, you means the BBC Board of Governors were all voted out to be replaced by a majority of DW fans?

Marcus E. Durham
Oh goody. I'll be the head of Light Entertainment. I would boot out Edmunds and introduce "Sylv's House Party" in which Sylv runs around for an hour pulling faces, fluffing his lines and doing unfunny routines with faded stars. So, no change from season 24 then ;-)

rec.arts.drwho
Sun, 11 May 1997
Keith Topping
My MP's a Chief Whip

David J. A. Lewis
Did you vote for Lindy St Clair then ?

Marcus E. Durham
Damn, I though it was Isla St Clair. I though Isla wouldn't have been quite as nasty as to hit me quite that hard ;-)

I think we should have K9 as an MP. And Soldeed. Soldeed would make a good MP.

"Maaaadamee Speeeeakeeer.....it is I....Soldeed."

rec.arts.drwho
5 May 1997
Jennifer Guest
Though Susan appeared in several fist Doctor adventures, and the 5 doctors, did she appear in any other episodes/With any other Doctors?

Robert Smith?
Yes, she had a cameo appearance in season 47 with the palm Doctor, a supporting role in the 37th anniversary story with the wrist Doctor and voiced a radio drama with the knuckle Doctor. Which, if you ask me, was rather backhanded of her.

rec.arts.drwho
Thu, 15 May 1997
Robert Smith?
It *is* in the novelisation. I haven't got the page number handy (my copy is in a box on the other side of the planet), but Ace is staring a "a recent stain on the ceiling" and that prompts her to mention Glitz.

Jason A. Miller
A prodigious feat indeed for Mr. Glitz! I still wanna know why Glitz was being unfaithful to Dibber...

rec.arts.drwho
Fri, 09 May 1997
Eva W Jacobus
Right! That's it! I'm abso-fucking-lutely tired of people not being able to spell an easy and oh-so-commonly used word. Now pay attention, everyone. It's spelled m.a.s.t.U.r.b.a.t.i.o.n.

Mastur Bates
Right!

rec.arts.drwho
Thu, 15 May 1997
lahey@pld.com
True, but when I was reading that part in the book my big question was "How in the world does Bambera *KNOW* that the Doctor is half-human to crack this joke?!?"

Alan Taylor
Bambera saw a TV Movie in May 1996 which had a line something like this in it. In 1997, when she met the Doctor, she was uncannily reminded of the lead actor in that self same TV Movie.

Innit?

rec.arts.drwho
Fri, 16 May 1997
Ian Knight
Dreddful truly Dreddfull.

Dave Stone
I assume you're talking anout Burning Heart. Attend ...

Many years ago, I was writing comics. I wasn't very successful at them, possibly due to my habit of going around telling people I was the best writer they'd ever see, shaking people by the hand and going "Don't you think DC are total pigshit, Mr Giordano? ", getting pissed at conventions, standing on tables shouting "C*nts! C*nts! Everywhere I look there's f*cking c*nts!' and falling over.

(The opening scene of SelaFane, on my lovely webpage, is a true story, from the morning after the first night of a comics convention, and gives a pretty accurate idea of my general state and standard of behaviour at the time. Without the mealy-mouthed pan dering to delicate sensibilities and the asterisks.)

Anyhow. One thing I did do was to invent the British version of Mega-City One, which was rather fortunate for me if no one else, because Virgin wanted to do a Dredd book set there ...

Three books later, and we were coming up on the movie. You'd have to have been there at the time, but there was the general feeling that we were all of us going to be farting through silk. One of the things that were being negotiated was a Who/Dredd cross over, and it was something I would have killed to do, had at least one faction of the people involved been willing to touch me with a ten-foot Lawgiver.

Then the movie came out. I saw the Leicester Square preview at 10 am on a Sunday, coming down off 72-hours on speed and the kind of e you used to get that wasn't mostly speed, two hours sleep on the Central Line and in the company of an ex-girlfriend, who hated me, but was a Dredd fan and so had turned up anyway.

All the same, I enjoyed the movie, right up until that voiceover two minutes in that went "And you thought the world couldn't get any *worse*, Dave?" together with that shot of my entire livelihood flying off on little wings.

Thing is, I still desperately wanted to do the crossover - not for the now nonexistant money, but because it was such a potentially blinding collision of two utterly dissimilar characters. Fortunately, a lot of Adjudicator stuff started making it into the NA's after the Dredd movie bombed, for some reason, and by the time the BBC license was on the point of being yanked back, these Ersatz Judges were established in the continuity to the point where I could finally sneak in the Dredd story that I'd been wa nting to do all along - and sneak it into the version of the Doctor who's always been my personal favourite.

(The nice thing is of course that, once my Dredd books are out of print, I've now got something into which I can convert them merely by finding and replacing names on a spellchecker - since I, or at least, a relatively sympathetic Virgin, hold the copyrig ht on Adjudicator Craator and his world ...)