This is the collaring of ruby{J`rt} a peice of info that will show you a collaring which is done in Gor,,, Thank you Master Jaek`rt for allowing the use of it,, Any questions of this collaring should be directed to Jaek`rt     This one had first followed a Master to a small tavern, seems like forever ago, but was actually only months ago. There she learned a bit from the Master and a very kind Mistress, and after a week she accepted the taverns kol-ar. Things were not good, as false promises were made to her and broken time after time; and after a bad situation broke her heart this one left Gor for a while, hiding her desire and needs to learn more, and be apart of something she had felt right for her. Then when this one could no longer curb her need, her desire drove her to began exploring dalnet and austnet where there were Many Gorean channels. Sad to say she ended up being used and abused as Master after Master offered teaching and help, just to use her body before laughing and tossing her aside. In desperation she went back to the first Master she ever knew on Gor and asked for His help in training her; she wanted no kol-ar, just teaching. He would only help if this one returned her kol-ar to her neck, she did and was hurt once more. Removing the kol-ar a second time she wandered in pain, watching her sisters to try and learn, refusing to take a kol-ar even in protection, avoided talking much to Masters or Mistresses, her only joy was being allowed to serve from time to time, hoping that her serve was at least okay as she has nobody to help correct the parts done wrong, her pride to great to even allowed herself ask her sisters for help.     Then one night in the GoreanSteel this one met a Master by the name of Jaek`rt, His homestone called Stonehenge, a new place and new Master to IRC. He had caught on to this one's words of pain and hurt at the hands of false promises and abuse at the many Master's hands; noticed her doubt and unsure ways of how to properly respond to the Masters or Mistresses. This one's self-doubt was great and she had thought of giving up once again. So few had treated her like she may be worth something, while so many treated her as worthless; most lied or took what they desired and gave empty promises, leaving this one feeling stupid, used and worthless. This one had honestly thought of lying, even made up a lied of who and what this one looked like and her age; had stopped trusting, had started growing cold and bitter inside. Had thought it was the only way this one had to protect herself from the pain; she was torn between the two "evils" (as this one had grown to call them) the desire to say "Screw You" and learning who she was. Was finding both hurt a lot, as she had tried quitting once and found that the pain was just as great, for the hungry didn't stop just because she said it would. Had wish this one had never awaken the ugly beast, for it did not feel like a thing of beauty to be submissive to a Master; was not a kol-ar of peace and trust, but a Choker that strangled, killing the spirit and soul of who this one was and so this one didn't think she could ask again, didn't want a ko-lar, and was tormented by other slave cause of that as well. Just wanted to learn who this one was without taking the chance to trust deeply again; but Master Jaek`rt changed that, started out with just an offer to help this one learn, no strings attached He promised, no kol-ar pressed, just training IF this one wanted it. Master Jaek`rt admitted that He did NOT know a lot, but would try His best to find the answers when that time came, and after 2 weeks this one grew to trust and believe Master Jaek`rt, and came to trust His word greatly. Master Jaek`rt's way of doing things intrigued her to the point that even after her tantrums she threw, she just had to keep returning. Master Jaek`rt would forgave this one and continued teaching her as if we had never stopped, oh He would lecture this one and tell her how the cow ate the cabbage, but He still kept teaching this one (and her tanturms slowed).     Then before this one knew it she wanted Master Jaek`rt's ko-lar and not that of His keep neither; it was not easy for this one to beg for it, first this one had to get pass her fear of being kolared again and then had to figure out how she as to beg a Gor kol-ar. When this one first asked Master Jaek`rt for His kol-ar she was denied; this one thought Master Jaek`rt too had rejected her, that she was not worthy to wear His kol-ar, this one wanted nothing more than to just leave, to run and hide from her pain and sorrow and shame; but Master Jaek`rt would not allow her to leave, instead He told this one to stay and listen to His words, and BELIEVE them. Turned out Master Jaek`rt didn't reject this one, but did not want a hasty kol-aring we would both be disappointed in later, said He wanted us to do it right and with pride, that while this one was sure He was a shame of her, He was in fact proud of her. That was just as hard to hear as if He has said He was a shamed of this one, very few ppl have ever told this one they were proud of her, she was used to hearing the negative and had learned how to hide from the pain somewhat, definitely did not know how to handle "Proud". Then this one went into a panic afterwards when Master Jaek`rt told her she had two days to get her thoughts and outline for the kol-aring together; it was to be her job to figure out the kol-aring as Master Jaek`rt would NOT tell her how one was done. Master Jaek`rt had wanted this one to learn and value her ko-lar. Spend many hours searching the web and asking a male kajiru brother (one of very few she trusted) for help, wrote and rewrote this ones words a lot trying to embedded them into her head (for they were already in her heart and fighting to be spoken). It would have been easiler of Master had told this one how it was to be, but then it would not have been the same, for this one's thoughts and words would not have been hers.  It was a small kol-aring, but just a wonderful as if there where a thousand present to witness it; and this one continues to grow, and learn under Master Jaek`rt's teachings, her self-doubt while still there lessens a bit each day, her joy of serving has returned and her passion deepened.       Home   You are visitor # Page created 04/26/98