These are little snipits into my head..
i know they suck.. so just bear with me .. :}
8/17/96
"Poem for E"
One foot follows another.
To the side there is no other.
In those eyes I see for ever,
They hide a mind that is
quick and clever.
The softest touch,
clung to my arm.
Her every breath,
deep and warm.
Two minds are one
After the bubble is gone.
Many loves have come,
Many loves have gone,
But for the rest of my days,
She is the only one.
==============================
4/10/97
"1 yr, 3 months, 10 days"
A warm cold breeze blows past me.
A dark light radiates through me.
Something I could never make
Me say, has gone away.
I'm FREE!!!
I'm FREE!!!
But is that really where
I want to be?
Hell has froze and
The devil sees me,
I'm underground and climbing a tree
I look around and all I see
is no-one looking back at me.
I'm free, I'm free,
White is black and she is me.
But is that really what I want to be?
A fractured heart lies within me.
==========================================
2/4/98
"untitled"
I love you.
Although, I don't know why.
You lie, you steal, you cheat,
You have made me cry.
It's amazing how you disrespect me,
Talking to those "cute" guys.
I'm amazed you even remember me,
When they ask-out those glazed over eyes.
You keep them all within arms reach
Like obedient little drones.
I'm sure if something were to happen to us,
Not for a second would you be alone.
It hurts me very much,
It hurts me to the core,
That I don't even get mentioned,
When your tongue hits the floor.
I love you.
Although I don't know why.
But if you fuck up,
Your life as you know it,
Will die.
=======================================
4/14/98
"Broken Neclace"
So much pain from all around,
I can't even tell how far I've fallen down.
A dying dragon lies,
Slowly rotting away,
His mate has been taken,
Was stolen away.
In dark shadows this beast does lye,
Wanting, hoping, and praying to die.
To end the pain, to end the lies,
The dragon thinks back
And he cries.
Why was he forsaken?
What had he done?
Questions fill in, where
His body is numb.
From out in the distance
He hears the cries,
"I love you!
I want you!
Please be mine!!"
The startled dragon then opens his eyes.
He sees a most beautiful vision;
Fiery lips, and deep brown eyes.
Then in an instant she shows her side,
The most terrible secrets and nothing but lies.
The beast then lowers his noble head,
"Nothing constant will ever change,
This life is just not worth the pain."
As the scavengers come to
To rip away flesh,
The dragon thankfully breathes
His final breath.
================================
7/31/98
"Dear Rachelle"
Times may be tough,
Beings in despair.
I miss the smooth touch,
Of fingers through hair.
I step back and gaze,
That beautiful cherub face,
And I remember every kiss,
And the spot it was placed.
As if through a haze,
I see laughing and smiles,
Through tears and cheers,
We have gone for miles.
Times may be tough, being in despair,
But I will love you forever,
From, your Honey Bear
==============================
??/??/99
"My Raven"
Once upon a Time
In a far away land.
I lived as a boy
Who was lonely and sad.
One day while walking,
I saw a most beautiful sight.
A majestic Raven,
with its wings in flight.
I called out to it,
And to my surprise,
It came over to me
And looked in my eyes.
It was the most beautiful sight
I had ever seen.
Long black feathers,
And a voice that sings!
I fell in love so completely.
It blinded me of any reality.
I took it home
And there we stayed.
A few small problems,
But they gradually fade.
She completed me.
She was like my wife.
I gave everything to her,
She was my life.
We had the best times,
Together all day.
But then somehow
Things began to fade...
My Raven gave signs
It was tiring of me.
So I opened the window
To let it free.
It opened its wings
As if to say,
"Everyone come to Me!"
And it flew away...
I waited, and waited,
But she never came back.
My beautiful bird
All dressed in black,
Had found a new home,
And was happy and gay.
I never should have gave her
The chance to fly away.
Now I'm back to where I was before.
A lonely boy in a tower of bore.
Sad and broken
I say not a peep.
But everything I see
Hits me so very deep.
It would be Heaven,
To just sleep and dream;
About my Raven
And how things had been.
To never wake up,
To never feel pain,
It would be so sweet,
But in a cowards name.
Time to move on,
Beauty is all around.
My Raven is happy,
And I should be proud.
I love you my Lady
And I will till death I do part.
Never forget me,
You are ingrained in my heart.
================================
March 16, 2000
"Do i want to Know?"
I know what i need to know
and it kills me,
I know what i need to know
I pray to die,
I know what i need to know
and it hurts me,
I know what i need to know
and i ask why...
The silence that's fallen consumes me
I hear the voices, they're not mine.
Why so full of lies to deceive me?
How did my love pass you by?
I see beautiful blue eyes of nothing,
As deep as the pit where i reside.
Here there is no one around me,
Here i see the true actions alive.
I know what i need to know
and it kills me,
I know what i need to know
I pray to die,
I know what i need to know
and it hurts me,
I know what i need to know
and i ask why...
The embrace you say you love dearly,
The seal you have kissed goodbye,
To the front so kind and loving,
But so dark and dank behind.
================================
Sometime in 1999?
"The Rain"As I stand, the rain drips off my face,
And I think and I wish, I was in another place.
I peer down to the ground
Then up at the sky,
And I think of all the happy times gone by.The darkest eyes I have ever seen,
To star into them is to be lost in a dream.
They show feeling hidden so far below,
What secrets the hide I will never know.Running my fingers through her hair,
The most velvety cheeks, with skin so fair,
Holding her tightly, with my arm 'round her hips,
And the most brilliant miracle with the touch of our lips.Oh those lips, those lips…
I constantly yearn for those lips.
Delicately soft and red, like the peal of a rose.
And the way they pucker,
When she scrunches up her nose.Laying beside her with my body at rest,
Feeling her warmth, resting my head on her breast.
Nothing can hurt me, nothing at all.
I'm completely secure within her high walls.When the two of us combine,
Our bodies completely intertwine.
The ultimate in closeness, with my blushing bride,
And I realize then, I never want to leave her side.I peer down at the ground, then glance up at the sky,
And I think of all the happy times gone by.
As I stand, the rain drips off my face,
And I wish I was dead,
So I can take her place.
==============================
January 20, 2002
“The Reason”And I don’t want to remember
The reason why I feel this way
And I don’t want to remember
How soft your skin was today.
And I don’t want to remember
How long you've been away12 moons time has come and gone
Your goddess so right has gone so wrong.
She is the wiser of the 2
that doesn’t mean she should abandon you.And I don’t want to remember
The smell of your hair
And I don’t want to remember
The feeling of your stare
And I don’t want to remember
The warmth I feel inside
And I don’t want to remember
The reason why my soul has died.Pressure for all sides, coming down on you
Communication breakdown, no words getting through
Desperation, confusion, give me a clue
But why choose such a harsh thing to do.And I don’t want to remember
The touch of your skin
And I don’t want to remember
Your lust and your sin
And I don’t want to remember
How long you’ve been away
And I don’t want to remember
The reason why I feel this way.
==============================
September 24, 2002
“Not the time”Your touch ignites me,
keeps me on the line.
Your smell excites me,
But now is not the timeLifted, falling,
my past keeps calling.
What the hell just happened here?
Laughing, bawling,
my mind keeps wandering.
All is fine when I touch her.
Forever, never,
the story of my life.
Im just waiting for that day.
You don’t have the wining number.
You didn’t draw the lucky name.
But there is not one reason why,
I can’t want you all the same.Crying to the moon above,
Asking her to take my pain.
But the goddess that turns me to stone,
Is the only one that makes it go away.Lifted, falling,
my past keeps calling.
What the hell just happened here?
Laughing, bawling,
my mind keeps wandering.
All is fine when I touch her.
Forever, never,
the story of my life.
Im just waiting for that day
when I slip off the knife.Tell me, tell me why.
Differences make the time go by.
Laying there beside yourself
won’t let you grow inside.Maybe one day,
When the luck is mine.
Maybe you’ll realize
that we'll be just fine.
Maybe i'll get one more kiss,
But i know, now is not the time.
==============================
Feb 28, 2004
"Divine"
With the speed of a hare, my feelings run without trace
all that is left of them, is the constant smile on my face.
Even the power of Master Williams’s mighty quill,
cannot find the words to keep up with my hearts will.From the soothing touch of a kittens feet
to the thick delicious air that surrounds a treat.
Every activity was a spin on the wheel
no telling where ill land, or what in the end ill feel.The Taro has shown what is in front of my minds eye.
yet how can I be sure where my best interests lye.
There is one fact I know which can not be cheat,
that is the heat that radiated from what my lips did meet.The Moon finally smiles upon me with all of her power.
Months gone by without the company of such grace as in this hour.
However, only a fool is one who peruses for ever
yet I know what I do catch, I forever will treasure.The stars may show how two easily become one,
but the earth knows more of what reality has done.
The strangest flavors can be good when mixed,
but I can never mend what time has to fix.Tonight a daring idea has begun to form
and how it turns out may not be the norm.
Just remember what ever the result may be,
you have had only a positive effect on me.If you would grace me with just one more night,
I know I would barely contain my delight.
And if it’s said that now is not the time,
then I shall remain, on my side of the line.A friend is forever, but a love can be Divine.
Only one element will ever be able to tell us
...and that is time.
==============================
August 25, 2005
"Echo"This is the worst night I’ve had in years,
I can remember the taste of these tears.
The spots in my vision, the weight on my back,
Mirroring the feelings of the voice that talks back.I feel the echo, I feel the pain,
I feel the crack as it rips at my brain.
Every choice, every voice, every cry, all in vain.
When will my time come? I just want to be sane.The waxing moon above tells me its time,
But if I could go back, the choice would be mine.
It took 27 years to bring me to this bind,
But those along the way have Fucked up my mind.I feel the echo, I feel the pain,
I feel the crack as it rips at my brain.
Every choice, every voice, every cry, all in vain.
How can you deal with a heart full of shame?Those closest to the fire are bound to get burned,
But the one with the matches can’t always be turned.
Living again with the scars on my hands,
Scared to death ill be stuck with these brands.I feel the echo, I feel the pain,
I feel the crack as it rips at my brain.
Every choice, every voice, every cry, all in vain.
When will my time come, I just want to be sane.
I just want to be sane.
==============================
September 10, 2005
"Beside Myself"It’s been 2 weeks since our goodbyes have been said
The moon is gone and the guilt is on my head.
The twelve that passed were filled with white hot light
But now all I have is an endless sky of night.I'm working hard to stand up to what I dread
But my resolve is hanging by just a thread.
Now I'm throwing myself back into the fight
But none of them have ever made me feel so right.My body is trying to tear me apart
The constant battle of my head against my heart
I used to know the meaning of my wealth
And now I'm left here sitting beside myself.Should I strike out I can take one off the shelf
But the flowers wilted and it’s not good for my health.
I’m looking in but I just can’t see on through
The room is dark and I’m lost here with out you.Constantly reminded what the past has done to me
But you’re the key to that past setting me free.
I just needed to see what I know was true
So I can count all the ways that I Love You.My body is trying to tear me apart
The constant battle of my head against my heart
I used to know the meaning of my wealth
And now I'm left here sitting beside myself.
==============================
~Brian Hall