MONDAY NIGHT
6:00 pm Haven Six O'Clock News
7:00 pm - Happy Days are Here Again
- In the town of Port Oberon, Dickie learns that he may be a Mecklenberg and that Flopsy and Dolph have to help him dodge BMA while a guest appearance by the Gateway Chief Black Wolf explains that the BMA is not predatory.
7:30 pm - Mystery Horror Picture Theatre
- With wicked Princess Crystal chasing our intrepid team, the evil Princess comes across a new and unexpected ally, Balaam of Amber. After cleaning him in drycleaning fluid, tagging and neutering him, Crystal has him force our pair to watch 3 carebear episodes.
8:00 pm - Uncovering the Maxfiles
- Buckywear and red lace. The Royal Haven SW pair assigned to the Maxfile discover a plot by Abyss Hags to plan a device in Buckywear that causes bleeding on Abyss holidays and gives massive wearers tiny injuries which cause the Abyss to receive large amounts of undeserved power.
9:00 pm - New AirWolf
- The New Airwolf has spies from Rosepatch trying to steal New AirWolf because PrinceRegent Corbin wants to do beer runs in shadow for him and Captain Ron.
10:00 pm - Palace (Dallas)
- Princess Matilda of Haven develops a crush on Prince Rory of Amber and decides to force him to take her to the King Finndo High School Grad (Prom for Americans) but she has to bribe Don Paolo to allow Rory to cross the Paolo line between Amber and the rest of Creation.
11:00 pm - HBC National News
11:30 pm - HBC The Journalist
Midnight - The HBC the Local News
12:30 am - Haven Late Late Show
- Bridge on the River Kolvir. A story of Finndo Guard who hold out and defend a bridge in Amber after Eric seizes power from Rilgaite fanatics.
TUESDAY
7:00 pm - Dukes of Rosepatch
- Colt and Remington Taltos with their Mecklenberg brother Lee carry on shinanigans against the rule of their bastard brother Prince Regent Corbin. Boss Corbin and his deputy Captain Roscoe chase the Taltos brothers through Rosepatch's deserts and tundra.
8:00 pm - Die-Nasty
Valentina Jesby plans to take over the leadership of Jesbyways and the family house through a terrible Abyss ritual where she mindcrushes Prince Matthew and feeds his soul to her pet, Sneaky Snake.
9:00 pm - Fiends
Ten Cousins who are grand kids of Oberon live in the west wing of Amber Castle where they torment each other and the palace staff. Today Princess Alexis tries to get Dover, the pet cat of Rory neutered and vaccinated for rabies. However it is Rory who is foaming at the mouth.
10:00 pm - Sixth Estate - News Magazine
Review on the Blackzone military build up. Is Colmar seriously expecting an Amber invastion?
WEDNESDAY
7:00 pm - Mary Taylor Moorish
- Mary Taylor is going to Winona to meet with King Tiberius who proposes to the HBC executive producer in South Red River (formerly Northern Minnesota and North Dakota). Tiberius has a wife in Kapella but will divorce Heidi to marry Mary. What is a poor girl to do?
7:30 pm - Wonder Female Person
- In her satin tights, Diana Princess, leaves Port Jasra High School in order to fight fascism. She gets harrassed by Black Wolves in Trinity for wearing too much perfume and then gets a ticket for jaywalking down Trinity's King Reinhard Drive. She gets her revenge by punching out a Jedi spy plotting to overthrow the Eden Provincial Government.
8:00 pm - Twin Mountains
- A high energy mysterious series that revolves around a nice Canadian town that borders a strange American town across the lake and how the Mounties and Hi5 keep out sinister spirits, criminals, gun runners, separatists, demons, and anti Red Wolf propaganda out of their town. They even help solve murders on the American side when the FBI agents get possessed.
9:00 pm - Zeinfreid
Zeinfeld who pines for New York has to work in Amber City in Droppa's bar. Regretably his disfunctional friends fat bald Prince George of Amber and Princess Zariya accompany him and do stupid things in this popular but over rated formula sitcom.
9:30 pm - M*U*S*H
- A profile of demons working in a Black Zone mobile hospital during the recent outbreak of rebellions and invasions. Wisecracking demons, snarky chaos lords, and a few cameos by Colmar. Also naughty nurses with Jesby and Rexford blood.
10:00 pm - Keep it all in the Family
Archie of Texorami complains about his father, ex-King Random calling him a meathead and his wife wants to run off with the despot of some unnamed Great Power that is spinning off into the Abyss. Plus the Mecklenbergs are constantly trying to buy Texorami out from under him.
THURSDAY
7:00 pm - Wonderful World of Haven Disney
- A joint HBC-Disney(Haven) production: Sons of Tories. After the malicious Boston Tea Party, loyalists help keep law and order in Boston and in order to prevent mob rule and protect liberty, they oppose revolutionary elements and uncover French spies.
8:00 pm - Randy-gin's Island
- Stranded in New Verona with Prince Randy is Crown Prince RJ of Trinity, Prince Scotty of House Swayville, RJ's wife who is Reinhard's secretary Betty along with a millionaire, a movie star and a scientist. These castaways make their way through New Verona with a few million troops, a large battlefleet and a few death stars.
8:30 pm - Matilda...
- Matilda in her TV show tells her mother, Sarah of Trinity that God is going to get her for that but Sarah is not sure if God is Kelric or Reinhard because they are in Gateway. Also Matilda romps with her rival and secret love Arthur of Imperial Amerika.
9:00 pm - Movie - Black Borzoi Down
- King Colmar's private jet has gone down behind the Don Paolo line and an elite Mecklenberg force headed by Princess Katrina who is Colmar's ex girlfriend and mother of many of his kids has to go and rescue him. However Prince Nicolo is also hunting for Colmar so he can take him to Paolo and chop off his ear lobes and his pinkies.
FRIDAY
7:00 pm - Bugs a Bunny
- Bugs takes on republican schemers who try to overthrow the government of Corellium and annex it to Johannes Katz' "Free" America movement. Bugs says,"I hope you realize this means war" and blows up Katz' castle. Bugs receives the Order of the Black Wolf from Queen Sarah in gratitude
7:30 pm - I dream of Bunni
- A genie named Bunni falls for Thelbane Grand Marshall Prawn who has to hide her and later claim her as a wife while trying to go through Thelbane high society and tons of foreign guest. Tonight's show, King Jason and Queen Claudine are getting a tour but are steered away from the rest of the NS legation which has been turned accidentally to aardvarks.
8:00 pm - Friday Night Movie - Sound of Muzak
- The Family Von Trapp escape from nice Austria after wicked Delwinites take over and annex poor Austria to the Terd Reich. A nice Mecklenberg boy falls for the Von Trapp girl but gets kidnapped and taken to a Delwin pet farm. Captain Von Trapp sings Eidelweiss with new words praising Haven.
10:00 pm - Documentary - HBC Presents - Tales of Oppression in Ardor
- The terrible conduct of Prince Rory, a fanatical anti Haven republican, is profiled when he is trying to set up the People's Democratic Republics of the Mumakan and Hathor and in reality is exploiting the land, the people, the animals, and even the sea creatures for his own avarice.
10:30 pm - Dark Knight
- Tale of a blond vampire in Toronto who gets over his feeling guilty for himself and beats up the republican socialist Buffet and then gets hired by Ian Holland to run night security in his city. He also arrests Kelson for looking like a poseur while having spiked hair and a fake nose ring.
SATURDAY NIGHT
7:00 pm - Hoagie's Heroes
- Colonel Klink of the Pets-R-Us Petfarm has to suffer the indiginity of a Delwin takeover attempt and the smart semi independent inmates work behind the scenes with secret communication to Hi6 and Trinity SW in order to block this Delwin plot.
8:00 pm - Bailey and Bailey
- Two brothers, Bailey and Kirby set up a detective agency and ritual study area in downtown Trinity with ties to the SW in order to solve mysteries, collect black projects, investigate secret plots, and uncover conspiracies. This week they get caught in New Orleans trying to investigate Remy Cage, a New Orleans pet dealer who is a drunkard and womanizer but is actually an agent for the Norwegian Government.
9:00 pm - Mecklenberg P.I.
- Art Von Meck, is working in tropical Eastern Atlantis as a special private investigator at a Villa where Lord Ian Holland owns and supervises and how he spies on enemies of the Quadruple Alliance. Tonight he is hired by Rinaldo to uncover an embezzler who is in the pay of Caine.
10:00 pm - S&R Tonight!
Unlike Haven which bans TV Cameras from Parliament and the Courts, King Jason of Lupinia and Neuvo Sangre has high ratings for his court procedings. We see Kelson getting his ears boxed tonight, three Abyss hags turned to stone and gravelled as well as a Royal Commission investigating Princess Breyd of Amber for Abyss Worship. Special Prosecution of Witchiepoo 4859-e3 for trying to blow up Rinaldo's Casino and Count Davis' litter box.
SUNDAY NIGHT
7:00 pm - Greatest Kappellan Hero - A goofy Haven born professor learns he is not only a Mecklenberg but also has super Cornelian powers that allow him to rescue people, save publics works projects, oppose Jeddi plots and even punch Caine in the face. The superCornelian along with his BMA agent work together to protect the Quadruple Alliance and the Triple Entendre. (Note: Kapellan officials do not officially support good works on behalf of the Corellium and Outer Paruys but they will look the other way as long as 4X more good deeds are done for Mecklenberg territory.)
7:30 pm - Get Sean!
- Prince Sean of Haven, a spymaster working for Sir John Graham of Hi5, has his secret spy headquarters on an island off of Echo Beach. He learns that his sister Matti is staying with him for the weekend and has to hide his whole agency from her rampaging stay. Also Sean has to deal with a Delwinite plot to liquidate the Bank of Haven.
8:00 pm - Mustang the Lawyer
- Prince George Mustang Von Mecklenberg is a small town lawyer in big megalopolis Trinity where he successfully defends a black wolf falsely accused of biting Queen Mother Carol Channicut of Imperial Amerika in Newer New York where Carol Channicut wants the innocent young wolf hanged drawn and quartered. George also blunders into a Tomb of the Unknown Jeddi and escapes with the eternal light sabre which he had to fight Lady Craft for. George also wears yellow camp shirts and grey shorts outside and white Colonel Sanders wear in Court.
9:00 pm - Making of the Movie - Star Wars XXXIII
- The documentary reveals how HBC co-operating with Star Wars Productions shows how the tale of the wicked republican Jeddi relics plot to try to oppose the good Emperor and his Senate by spreading sedition. Sound effects and speeches combined with special effects and laser shows are explained as well as the political warnings about the rise of republicanism in creation.
10:00 pm - HBC Documentary - The Haven Constitution Part XVI - Attainment by Parliament
- Haven's Parliament has many traditional powers including as an arbitrary special court and how it may try and summarily convict accused by Act of Parliament called a Bill of Attainder. The proud history of the British Parliamentary System is profiled and contrasted with the former American republic's antiquated constitution which specificially outlawed Bills of Attainder.
And waiting as mid-season replacements:
Rexford's Angels -- sisters Charity, Faith and Hope Rexford, working for a mysterious man named Ian, save Haven from Oberonista plots.
Everybody Loves Rory -- infomercials paid for by Rolondae
Oberon Five -- an outpost in the Golden Circle is the center for intrigue.
Dunstree Blues -- a motley crew of constables fight thugs and despair in Amber City
Also playing on HBC TV Land/Nick at Night...
The Silverosa -- siblings Corwin,Eric and Deidre try to make a go of a ranch.
F Droop -- society gals Florimel and Fiona cope with getting older
My Mother the Tsar (also known as My Three Sons of Jasra).
"Amber" is copyright © Roger Zelazny; "Amber" the diceless RPG is copyright © Phage Press. No copyright infringement is intended.
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