poems & prose
WRITTEN:
1986 & 98, 19 & 20 years
AUTHOR'S NOTES:
The second and third of these pieces were written when I was going through a renewed phase of feeling the need to write really cool stuff. Unfortunately I had let myself be convinced (by the hopelessly mainstream middle-class morons I spent far too much time with) that the stuff that I would naturally write about was far too trendy and interesting, and I should write about weird stuff that would be so amazing and strange that it would take years and years for anyone to be able to understand it, and after that, well, I'd be famous, of course. What tripe.
The first one was more like what I wanted to write, however I was still coming to grips with my style and what I wanted to say. The word "evanescent" was an ongoing obsession/fetish, being a favourite word from the later part of high school; the phrase "time accelerates, escalating" was a similar sort of personal favourite. I pretty much built the piece around these two sentiments.
Time accelerates, escalating. Evanescent.
I am within myself, observing. Not a kindly sight.
I am experiencing sickness: riddled with madness.
TWO WOMEN SPEAK WITH ME:
Gail my mother
Julie my best friend
:THEY ARE DEAD BUT THEY SPEAK NONETHELESS
I sit in the cafeteria
most seats are vacant
late winter, Sydney winter afternoon
Friday, before the rush hour is beginning
- - -
I am experiencing sickness. Time is accelerating, escalating.
Marijuana, symbol of our times. Time. Plenty of time. The unemployed have plenty of time, though their time is running out.
Paradox. I know. I was unemployed. I had qualifications but was not qualified for employment. I know what it is to be unemployed.
Time speeding up but always going slowly. I know what it is to be unemployed. Humiliated. Rejected. Scorned. I have experienced Madness Compassion Disgust Hatred. Time accelerates, escalating.
It is always Monday, just before work, or Friday, facing an empty weekend, or Sunday, facing a week of work. Time accelerates.
Fashion Fads Ficklety
are always transient
but always constant.
Cheated Diddled Riddled
Cheated of youth
Diddled of life
Riddled with madness
:SOCIETY:
- - -
untidy like a tramp
a wino
a sex offender
clothes mismatched on her solid frame
resembling a failed audition for a B grade horror flick
all contrasts and controversy
the accordion lady