The Case of the Unseen Lady
The next morning I went opened up the office and unlocked it. Although I was confident that the room had remained locked all night I still took the broom from my closet and swung it around at random. I hit nothing and sighed at the thought that this would become my new routine. I would ask Natalie to implement this procedure as well.
As for the door procedure I realized that it was not necessary to squeeze oneself through it but simply not leave it wide open before or after standing in the threshold. But I made a mental note to remove the hinges and wash them with soap. Without oil, it wouldn’t take long for them to announce every opening with a squeak. I’d need to hear it open even if I was in the inner office with my door closed.
After a while, Natalie arrived looking sharp in a conservative dark green suit and matching hat. I noticed that she wore opaque stockings to hide her legs completely. Her skill with her make-up was improving, as the coloring looked completely natural today, like any woman wearing dark glasses.
“Your color is better today.” I complimented.
“Thanks. And if I discovered that if I chew the right candy my teeth show up. It doesn’t last long but it’s good enough if I need to smile.” She smiled to show that she had just had some.
She was carrying a shopping bag. I was sitting at my desk and she poured the contents on the desktop to show me. There must have been a dozen small cans of talc.
“Are you afraid of running low on your supply?” I asked.
“No,” she said cheerfully, “These are invisible woman detectors. No office should be without them. One good shake and she’s covered.”
“That’s a good idea.” I said, impressed, “I’ll bet that if we put a rubber bulb in one end of the can we could shoot this a fair distance.”
“Like snow on a Canadian golf course.” She said.
I smiled and made a mental note to teach her some better analogy phrases.
I then reached into my drawer and took out the gloves that had been reading my files the previous day.
“Can you identify these?” I asked.
“Eight button kids, off-white.”
“No, I mean, do you know who they belong to.”
“Yes,” she said, “they’re mine. I left them on my desk yesterday. I switched to my gray pair because I wanted something tighter for the library.”
She picked up the white gloves and said, “Although I would have been better off with these. The grays are so short that they separated from my sleeves whenever I reached to a high bookshelf. But I don’t think anyone noticed.”
“Well, I assumed these were your gloves.” I said, “I knew she wouldn’t carry these down the street for all to see. But why do you suppose she wore them? Now, imagine, she’s totally unseen and she finds the door unlocked.”
“Sorry, again,” She interjected.
I held up a hand. “Spilt milk.” Then I continued.
She finds the office empty and she decides to explore. Why would she put on the gloves?”
“Fingerprints?” Natalie suggested.
“Exactly. Except for the front doorknob, which gets handled by numerous clients, she would have left no fingerprints.”
“Just like the cat burglar. You said there’s never any fingerprints. But Johnny does that mean she would only steal at places where she could steel a pair of gloves, too.”
“I’m not sure.” I said, “But I’m glad you’re starting to think like a detective.”
“Thanks.” She said.
I then asked her to sit and started to approach a potentially delicate topic with her now.
“Natalie, we have an advantage here that we have yet to apply.”
“What’s that, Johnny?” I could tell that calling me by my first name still felt novel to her.
“I want you to consider being more than just my secretary.”
“Why, Johnny,” she said breathlessly, “What are you proposing?”
“You could assist me in my detective work.”
“Oh,” she said. “Yes, I imagine it must be exciting work. But I don’t know anything about being a detective.”
“You could learn. You could be an apprentice under my guidance. In fact, you could help me on a number of cases. You could follow people and listen in on conversations. You’d get information a lot faster than I do by conventional methods.”
“Follow people? But, my outfits stand out a little. I felt like people were staring at me in the bank yesterday. It’s the glasses mostly. Most people take off their glasses when they …”
“Natalie, I think you’re missing my point. The advantage you have is your invisibility.”
“Wow, I’d really draw some attention then. Don’t you think people would panic if a headless woman …”?
“Natalie.” I snapped. “You’d take off your clothing.”
She instinctively put a hand to her tightly buttoned collar. The concept was so outrageous by the standards of her innocent nature that it simply did not occur to her.
“Mister Drake! Are you suggesting that I … expose myself?”
“Well, you are invisible.”
“But I’d be naked!”
“No one would know.” I insisted.
“I’d know!” And so would I. But I tried to push the thought aside for now.
“Our visitor yesterday was naked.” I reminded her.
“Yeah,” Natalie shot back, “What kind of girl does that make her?
I raised my hands to show surrender. I didn’t
feel like arguing. I then went to my desk and sat down. Perhaps I should arrange
for her to meet with Kitty for a little coaching. From the stories, it would
seem that Kitty was extremely bold when she was invisible. As I sat there
thinking Natalie appeared in the doorway with her arms folded tightly across her
chest.
“You’re serious, aren’t you?”
“A detective with an invisible partner? Yes, I’m very serious. We could accomplish a great deal together.” It would help my depressed bank account, too, I thought.
“Wait a minute,” I said leaning forward, “you said you went to the bank yesterday?”
She raised her head slightly as if proud. “Yes, I paid all of your late bills.”
“You did what?” I suddenly felt like a crewman in the boiler room of the Titanic.
“It was easy since your last secretary arranged for a business account rather than a personal account. I used some of the documents she had left and …”
“I can’t afford to pay all of my bills at once. It will bust my account.”
“You don’t? …But I just …” Her voice trailed off. She excused herself and sat at her desk for a while. I opened my file cabinet to find out where she had put my financial receipts. I had to find out just how sunk I was. I found them and started doing the math in my head. I moved to put the papers on my desk and noticed Natalie standing at the threshold again.
“Okay, I’ll do it.” She said in a small voice. “I’ll take off my clothing.”
She sounded like a maiden surrendering to an arranged marriage.
Remembering some of the things that Kitty had said I tried to encourage Natalie. “Think of the power. No man will know where you are. You can go wherever you please. As elusive as the morning mist you will bewilder all with your passing.” By this point I was toning my voice like the Mystery Radio Theater and I feared I was sounding too silly.
She gave a small laugh and said, “Fine. I guess. Is it okay if I just try it before I start spying?”
“Sure. Just step out onto the street to get a feel for it. But walk very lightly around the man selling newspapers.”
“Can I barrow your office?” she asked.
“For what?”
“Well I can’t undress out there,” she said gesturing in the direction of her desk. “It would be disastrous if someone came in.”
“That’s true,” I said, thinking about how it might be to walk in on a half-woman or something of the sort. I said, “I’ll close the door.” And I did.
Natalie then had gave a nervous laugh and said, “You’re on the wrong side, Johnny. I need privacy.”
“But you’re invisible! It’s not like I’ll see anything.”
“Jonathan Drake,” she scolded like a certain schoolteacher I recalled from my younger days, “If you don’t mind!”
I finally stepped out of the office, my office, and closed the door behind me.
“I thought all fashion models were used to being gazed at,” I said loudly enough for her to hear me.
“Contrary to what you may have heard Mister Drake,” she answered in a loud voice, “not all models are floozies and strippers.”
“Hey,” I shot back, “I didn’t say they were. And certainly not someone as innocent as yourself. Besides, you have the wrong walk for a stripper.
“Well, even if I were to consider such outrageous conduct, I’m hardly suited to it in my present condition.”
“Suited to what?” I asked.
“Stripping” she said, “No one would want to see an invisible stripper. That defeats the purpose doesn’t it? You wouldn’t see anything.”
“Hey, can you remind me again exactly why you sent me out here.”
She may not have heard me by then. I could hear the sink in my washroom. I occurred to me that removing make-up was a lot slower than removing a veil. I supposed that if one planned to disappear one would want coverings that all removed quickly. Perhaps a simple overcoat, I thought. But at the moment I was in no position to suggest any fashion tips.
My mind went back to the paradox of an invisible stripper. I wondered if any of the local clubs would find it an amusing novelty act. It might be a way to avoid certain decency restrictions, too, I thought. But then recalling Natalie’s simple and respectable character, I tried to think about baseball for a while, instead.
All was quiet and after a minute more the door slowly opened. I saw nothing.
I realized that I really was looking at nothing when I heard her voice from behind the opened door say, “I think I’m ready.” But the next time she spoke I could tell she had stepped out into the doorway.
“You can’t see anything, can you?” she asked with borderline embarrassment in her voice.
“Absolutely nothing,” I breathed, scanning the air with all my awareness.
She let out a nervous laugh. “What do we do now?” she asked with genuine innocence.
“We … um… we try to figure who’s going to win the pennant this year.”
“What? Is this another code phase or something?”
“No. Sorry. My mind wandered.” I said contritely. “But I must say you look … wonderful.”
“But Johnny, I don’t look like anything.”
“And that’s … wonderful.”
“Oh,” she said, “you mean wonderful for a detective.”
“Yes. Wonderful for a detective.”
----------------------------
Next Chapter
Back to Guest
Authors
Back to Main