Title: This Time Around Author: Liz Skywalker [http://www.geocities.com/lizskywalker] Disclaimer: Hanson owns the song and lyrics. Lucas owns Star Wars. I own my star wars tee shirts. That's all. Story line: Luke throughout the trilogy. A/N: this is my first story told in present tense. I've never done it before. Bear with me, please. This is my first songfic, my first time. Bear with me, please. Dedication: This is dedicated to Poosh in her real life form. See you 'round, maybe sometime? It's getting colder in this ditch where I lie/ I'm feeling older and I'm wondering why/ I heard they told her it was to tell and live or to die/ I didn't know her but I know why she lied/ I didn't know her but I know why she died/ Yavin: There she is, the princess. I can't believe it. I'm at a Rebel Base and friends with a princess. Just a few days ago I was a farm boy on Tatooine. Now I'm a hero of the Rebellion. It hasn't sunk in yet, I know it will at the weirdest time, like in the middle of a meal or when flying against the Imps. In holo-films, it always happens when the hero is alone and the hero talks aloud about all the changes. But this is real life. It doesn't work that way. She walks over to me. "Hello Luke." "Princess." I acknowledge. "Call me Leia. Alderaan is dead." The princess seems numb; it probably hadn't sunk in for her either. "Leia then. How's everything going?" I look up. The fragments of the Death Star are still in orbit around Yavin 4. She looks up also. "If you're asking about the Death Star, I'm getting over it. The base psychologists are having a field day over me." "Yeah. I know. They seem to like me also." The words bring a slab of pain to me. My aunt and uncle, dead. Old Ben, dead. But Leia, she's lost everything. "They tell me I was brave, not telling Vader where the base was, but I feel guilty. I mean, the base could defend itself and Alderaan...The shrinks tell me it's not my fault..." She blinks back tears and swallows hard. I ask softly, "Do you think it's your fault?" "No...yes...I don't know! I don't know what I feel. It's like I'm dead inside, I can't seem to feel anything. The shrinks call it shock but I've been shocked before. But here I was, telling Tarkin to attack Dantooine. I should've KNOWN Vader could detect lies! He blew up Alderaan. Doesn't that make it sound better, like an euphemism? Alderaan is DEAD and nothing will bring it back. But that doesn't stop me from wishing I could." She sighs. "I've been over this with the shrinks so many times, too many times." "I think talking about it with a friend helps sometimes. I wouldn't know, though." I tug aimlessly on my uniform, straightening it. "Never happened to me before." She softens. "I'm sorry, Luke. Going on and on about my home while you've lost yours." "You know what, Leia? I think you've helped me more than anyone else. Thanks." "And thank you Luke for listening so well." She walks away, leaving me to mull over her words. I just met her, but I think I understand her. She had lied to save her world, just to see it destroyed. But she was learning to live with it. If she could, so could I. You can't say I didn't give it/ I won't wait another minute/ We're on our way this time around/ You can't say I didn't give it/ I won't wait another minute/ We're on our way this time around/ And we won't go down/ Space, above a base: "Snap it up, Rogue Seven!" I yell into my comm. "The Imps'll take advantage of every mistake!" "Yes sir!" Grell screams back and straightens up. "Hey Luke! Can I get some help here?" Wedge's voice comes over my comm. "Sure thing, Wedge!" The Imps had come really quickly, surprising us. They had come during the sleep cycle. We had been on the run after our defeat at Niter 9, they must've tracked us through hyperspace. The alarms had gone off quickly, but not as quick as we'd've liked. Half the pilots were shot down on the ground, and the diplomats were making the jump around us as we fought. "Remer!!!" I hear someone yell. I check my comm. Sith. "Lead, they got Remer." "Finish the run, Wes. I'll cover you. We'll get even." I order. Sith, I swear. One more down. But we aren't finished yet. My sensors show me that Leia's transport has made the jump. Why did the Falcon have to choose the worst times to break down? "We're clear. Let's blow this joint!" I heard them say that dreams should stay in your head/ Well I feel ashamed of things that I said/ Put on these chains and you can live a free life/ Well I'd rather bleed just to know why I died/ After Bespin: Father. Vader is my father. I feet like swearing, like cursing some nameless thing, fate maybe. Why in all the seven hells did that monster have to be my father??? My dream, my father. The fighter pilot, the Jedi Knight. Lies. Vader, I hate him! But how can I hate my father? I guess I shouldn't have been so quick, I should've listened to Yoda, to Ben. But now that I think of it, I needed to learn this lesson. It's the kind of thing that can't be taught. You have to teach yourself, through experience. But Vader?! My father??? He offered me the galaxy, my hopes, my dreams. He offered me the forbidden fruit on a silver platter, he offered me all my hidden desires, he showed them to the world. He offered me power and fraternity. Maybe that was why I rejected it all so quickly, without thinking. Aren't we all afraid of what we don't know, what we wished we didn't know? He offered me freedom from the restrictions of the Jedi, he offered me the whole Force. But did I want the whole Force? My view of it was narrow, my goals wide. He offered me the Empire, he offered me slavery. He offered me everything, but he took a price. He took my hand. He took my innocence, my blind hero worship. He took my dreams, my hopes, my sense of who I am. He took my future, took my life, almost took my soul. He took my life and offered me another. He offered me the chance I wanted to be a son, yes, but while blood may be thicker than water, the latter tastes a lot better. At least, that was what I kept repeating to myself, over and over again. Vader's price was too high. You can't say I didn't give it/ I won't wait another minute/ We're on our way this time around/ You can't say I didn't give it/ I won't wait another minute/ We're on our way this time around/ And we won't go down/ And we won't go down/ And we won't go down/ And we won't go down/ All I know is that fear has to go/ This time around/ Endor: Vader's here. On Endor. He wants me, he's looking for me. He won't leave 'til he has me. I have to admit to myself, I'm scared. I don't know where I'll be tomorrow, what I'll be when the sun comes up again. As much as I hate to say it, I'm scared. Yoda told me to embrace my fear and let it rise in me, out of me, letting it evaporate into the Force. I've always wondered where it went. Does it go to the Dark Side, feeding it? Does it go to Vader, strengthening him? The ewoks have joined us, at least we'll be able to finish our mission objective now. It's always nice to have local help, even if the said help looks like a child's toy. I can feel Vader's presence. I have to go to him. There's no way out of this. Han would say that I'd better throw my cards in and wait for a better hand. The problem is, this is a game I can't forfeit. To forfeit would mean that I'm giving up. In the game of life, you can't give up. Sith-hell, I wish I could. Leia comes out of the Ewok 'house'. My sister. What have I gotten her into? I have to succeed, if only for her. She has a right to be proud of who her father is. I have to save him. But I can't help wondering, will the price be too high for me to pay? This time around, oh/ I've started feeling like I don't want to fight/ Give in to the given and put out the light/ Cannons a blazing showers these moonlit skies/ Then I remember and I know why he died/ Do you know why I died/ Death Star II: "You can't hide from me, Luke." Vader's voice comes down to me, containing a mental tug, stronger than anything I've ever felt. "I won't fight you!" But not to fight means that I've given in. I can't! I have to save him, I have to save Leia. I have to save Han, the whole Rebellion. But most of all, I have to save my sister, my newly found sister. "It's the only way you can save your friends." Vader's voice comes penetrating again. I struggle to contain my thoughts. "Yes, your feelings for them are strong, especially for...sister." I shut my eyes tightly. "So, you have a twin sister. Obi-Wan was wise to hide her. But now his failure is complete. If you will not turn to the dark side, then perhaps she will." NNOO!!!!!!!! Not Leia! I have to keep her safe! It wasn't only for her sake now, it was to spite Vader, our father. It was to protect the memory of Obi-Wan, who had died to save me. It was to honor the memory of Yoda, who had died trying to tell me of my sister. I have to save her for her sake, for my sake, for the sake of every Jedi who had died so that I may live, so that I can defeat the evil incarnate that is my father and the Emperor!!!! I rush at Vader, saber flying into his. It's a simple matter to beat him, to bring him to his knees. This is for Leia, I think as I cut his hand off. It flies away but not before I get a look at it. It's mechanical. Like mine. I am my father, that was what Yoda was trying to get into me. I'm no better than my father, my father. My father died saving me. Obi-Wan died saving me. Yoda died trying to. But Anakin is alive, alive in the evil that is Vader. As the lightning engulfs me, I scream for Anakin. And Anakin comes. You can't say I didn't give it/ I won't wait another minute/ We're on our way this time around/ You can't say I didn't give it/ I won't wait another minute/ We're on our way this time around/ You can't say I didn't give it/ I won't wait another minute/ We're on our way this time around/ You can't say I didn't give it/ I won't wait another minute/ We're on our way this time around/ And we won't go down/ And we won't go down/ And we won't go down/ Endor: It's over. It's all over. The Jedi have returned. The Jedi has returned. I'm a Jedi now. It still seems strange. But as the flames swallow up my father, I swear to the Force, to the Jedi Masters who taught me. The Jedi will no longer go down. We will rise again. We won't go down. Never again. This time around, the Jedi won't go down, I promise the Force as the armor of it's enemy rises to join it. Finis.