#20 in the series falls onto the last of the DS9 "bridge crew", and it's one we haven't see as a main yet! Yes, everyone's favorite Ferengi (unless yours is Rom, Nog, Zek, Brunt... um... forget I said anything) is up next in this exploration of "-oids" (various versions of regular characters, perhaps in the hopes of guessing at future AU personnel and personas in the game). Siskoid presents:
QWARKOIDS
1-Qwark: Not an -oid. The full Ferengi version of Qwark which we probably won't see for a good while (that's really too bad) would have the standard Ferengi Greed x2 and Acquisition, plus Smuggling (?), and a neat special skill, like stopping any Odo (turnabout is fairplay) or something to do with the Rules of Acquisition. He probably reports to Qwark's on Terek Nor/DS9 too. I really hope Decipher creates the Ferengi affiliation soon. Hey, I'm just waiting for the oo-mox card. ;-)
2-Qwark, Son of Keldar: The only Qwark we've ever had IS an -oid! You've all seen the card, 'nuff said.
3-Audrid Dax: The good mother and the first of three gender benders for Qwark (eeeech, why him?) Now, again, if symbiont personalities could be extracted from Dax with some kind of splicing event, we could get THIS peronnel. Skills? Hairbrushing. Actually, if we HAD to have him/her, we could tag on some kind of Youth enhancer, but Decipher, I beg you, no Audrid Dax. ;-)
4-SF writer: Still can't remember any of the names from "From Beyond the Stars", but this "writer" (if I follow my idea that all the pah wraith writers can download personnel and such) could be in charge of producing merchants on demand. Download any Greed or Acquisition personnel perhaps. I dunno.
5-Mirror Qwark: This Qwark, besides having the mirror icon, could be the only Qwark with Resistance. Aside from that, he's pretty close to the real one.
6-From Bashir's head: In Bashir's head, he represented Julian's panic. If played on a Mind Location played upon a personnel, it could be possible to make that personnel hide from his own psychic foes (also played on the Mind Location). Or else, that personnel could be stopped until Empathy was present?
7-Qwark/Kira hybrid: Another gender-bender. Half of Kira's skills with half of Qwark's, all wrapped up with a holographic icon. Who wouldn't want this card?
8-Assistant to the Grand Nagus: From when Qwark had to help a progressively more senile Zek. Attribute bonuses to Zek would be a natural, or a Sakkath-like suspension ability... all things better left to Qwark's moogie. Report him directly to Ferenginar, and that's about it. Is it just me, or does Qwark seem pretty much the same in any situation?
9-Younger Qwark: Like I said, the guy doesn't change much over time. This Qwark from the time of the Cardassian occupation seems pretty much like today's. Still, there's potential: report him to Terek Nor's Qwark's, give him a darker selection of skills, perhaps even some link to the Resistance. But there are plenty of other Qwarks before getting to this one.
10-Children of Time Computer: Qwark as Equipment! Or more probably as an Event played on the School Site (coming soon to an expansion near you!)
11-Martian Qwark: In "Little Green Men", Qwark (and family) was revealed to be the Roswell alien. Ok, if Decipher ever gets us a Roswell Time Location, the Martian Ferengi can all report there. But what does our man Qwark do once on Earth? I'd like the persona to bear some of the AU-like character shown: Qwark the world-conqueror! He disrupts the timeline by selling future technology to the Ferengi. How does that work? I'll let the mental giants at Decipher figure it out. ;-)
12-Grand Nagus Qwark A probable persona once we get the Ferengi affiliation. As a Nagus he's downloadable like Zek, and a VIP. But to mirror the show, how about making him the first persona with a countdown? At end of countdown, either replace him with another Qwark (discard persona) or he dies (killed). You'd have to give him some mighty big skills for him to be worthwhile though...
13-Qwark the arms dealer: Ah! A great one! He downloads equipment in the place of card draws (with a fine selection of hand and ship weapons available in the Rules of Acquisition expansion) at a furious rate. Converts Treachery to Honor eventually though and loses the download... perhaps after a certain number of people die (found in opponent's discard pile), the persona is discarded? That would make the strong ability more balanced.
14-Prophet: As with other DS9 characters, I've postulated Prophet cards for each featuring a Wormhole alien in their guise. These may be Events or Interrupts or whatnot, rather than personnel. The Prophet with Qwark's form would take care of point management I think.And have abilities which would limit bonus points etc. Probably to screw up some Dominion tactic as yet unimaginable to us.
15-Lumba: The last but most complete gender change for Qwark. He's gotta be made since he's one of the very few females the Ferengi have access to (one of 3 I believe). If we want the affiliation to pass Matriarchal Society... She's got most of Qwark's skills, but other than that... I wonder...
Well, as usual, if I missed any, please let me know! I appreciate any thoughts people might have on any -oid, really. Next up, part 1 of what I call supporting characters: Dukat, Weyoun, Nog and Garak, leaving the even lesser lights to shine in part 2. Later!
Siskoid (what do you mean we don't get paid for writing columns?)
