| "Does this sort of thing happen often around here?" |
| "We’re here, the demon’s over here and Caine’s over there - if we run here and the demon chases us straight into the arms of Caine then we’ve won!" |
| "Of course, now we have a new set of problems to consider..." |
| "You do realise that the DM’s listening to everything we’re saying - and taking notes, don’t you?" |
| (To the DM) "- and YOU can stop smiling like that as well..!" |
| "Okay everyone, listen up - I need ALL your money right now or he’s gonna eat me!" |
| "You know, when that merchant realises we’ve conned him, the next time he comes to visit our village he’s going to be VERY expensive..." |
| "How much damage do I do if I hit him with this? 2 D door?" |
| "Amazing! You killed the giant Slug Creature from beyond the Horizon! Where did you get all that salt?" "Burger King - or was it McDonald’s..?" |
| "Oookay...we have Orc Templars in a complex in the western forests...An Ogre and Hobgoblin army to the North that has kidnapped our scouts...A manky rakasta wizard to the East in that sixteen-storey tower he built inside a week...Our patron’s fighting border wars so he obviously can’t spare any more troops...let’s see is there anything else? Oh yes...There’s an ancient black dragon lairing a week’s travel upstream from the village! Still want to join us?" |
| "Ah-haaaaaah! I am CERNholio!" |
| "No - on second thoughts, you're not so much a munchkin as a fraggle..." |
|
"What happened last week? Well, we were hired to do a kidnapping - during the course of which the twit in the corner let off a couple of fragmentation grenades in the middle of a dancefloor and the ork decker eviscerated a cameraman on live TV. We dived out and eventually lost the police, only to be picked up by corporate security in heavy armour who were tracking us through an implant in the kidnappee. We were lined up against a wall and our driver, who was using a microwave slave-link to his vehicle's controls, autodestructed the SAMs he'd concealed in a launcher in the trunk...Still following this chummer? His last words before detonation were - 'Heads I do sumethin stoopid, Tails I do sumethin reeaaalllly stoopid.' Then our main muscle went cyber-psycho and before we knew it we were down on the docks in a five-way stand-off between our fixer, the cops, the corp heat and the Free-Spirit bound to our unconscious kidnappee... If you think you're lost, join the club!" |
