"Whoa," says I, "that's quite an insult"
     but to get the place a try
     so I went to see the blaggard with his
     "No Irish need apply"

Chorus:
     Some do tout it our misfortune be christened Pat or Dan
     But to me it is an honor to be born an Irishman

     I started out to find the house and found it very soon
     There I find the old chap seated he was reading the tribune
     I told him what I came for and he in a rage did 'ply
     "No," he says, "you are a Paddy and no Irish need apply"

     then I gets my dander rising
     and I'd like to black his eye
     to tell an Irish gentleman
     "No Irish need apply"

Chorus:
 

     I couldn't stand it longer so a hold of him I took
     and I gave him such a beating as he'd get at Donny Brook
     he cried out loud of murder and to get away he tried
     and he swore he'd never write again "No Irish need apply"

     well he made a big apology
     I bid him then goodbye
     saying "When next you want a beating
     print "No Irish need apply"

Chorus: