Dia was baking bread when it happened.

Not that she wanted to bake bread. In fact, she'd rather have been doing laundry. Dia had discovered -- much to her surprise -- that while she was a decent enough cook, she and flour didn't agree. It made her itch. Dia did not like to itch, therefor, she did not like to bake bread. This was a fairly straightforward thing.

The Mistress of Kitchens seemed to find it much harder to grasp. She was patently convinced that Dia was either not itching and just trying to get out of the work, or, if she was indeed itching, she was somehow bringing it on herself. Mistress Hastings had half convinced herself if she could just get Dia to like baking, flour would no long make her itch.

Dia did not like baking, because flour made her itch. As long as the flour made her itch, she would not like baking. According to Mistress Hastings, she would not stop itching until she liked baking, which she could not do if she did not stop itching. Thinking about the entire thing just made her head hurt.

It was, of course, only fitting that while engaged in this truly miserable task, Liranan Sedai would appear out of nowhere. When Dia saw the woman enter the kitchens she started feverently praying to the Creator for the woman to be looking for some other, trouble making, unrepentant, spirited red headed Novice. When Liranan saw her, though, the woman started right across the kitchen, and Dia's prayer promptly turned into a curse of epic proportions.

"There you are, child, I was beginning to think we were going to have to call this off. Well, I found you in time, if just barely. Come along, and hurry it up." Liranan said. The woman then turned on her heel and started briskly moving out of the kitchen, leaving a slightly flour coated Dia to gape in wonder for a second.

Liranan stopped, turned around, and glared at her. "Will you get moving?"

"But....Aes Sedai I'm covered in....and I'm in the middle of.."

"The hour waits on no woman, child. Now move."

Dia moved, scurrying along after the woman. At first Liranan strode on ahead, but Dia lengthened her stride and trotted a bit, catching up. "If I may ask, Liranan Sedai, what..?"

"You're being raised. You could probably do with a bit more time as a Novice just for the sake of your humility, but you've learned most of what you can as a Novice, so it's time to move on. Your Arches may very well take care of your remaining edges anyway."

"WHAT?!?" Dia yelped, her voice coming out in a surprised sort of squeak. She had stopped moving and was staring in shock and the Aes Sedai.

Liranan gave an annoyed sort of sigh and grabbed Dia by the arm, propelling her on. "I told you, we're late. I know this whole thing is rather shocking, but the trick is to keep moving and don't think about it too much. Unless, of course, you'd like to go back to baking?"

"Er, ah, no Aes Sedai, but I am a bit," Dia managed to choke out, gesturing to her flour coated state.

Liranan frowned at her for a second, as though it had been DIA'S fault the woman had caught her baking. "You're right, that just won't do." Liranan embraced Saidar and wove something of Water and Air so fast Dia nearly failed to see it happened. A second later the weave was moving over her, taking the flour with it. All while moving at a walk so fast it was nearly a run.

Dia despaired of ever getting that level of proficiency. It had taken her years practically just to get the knack of embracing the source. And now she was being raised to Accepted? Ridiculous. And then, of course, the answer came to her. This was a dream. Yes, of course, it made perfect sense.

Now that she'd realized that, everything became somewhat easier. Liranan lead her down into the depths of the Tower, to places Dia had never seen. And then there was a door and they entered the room with the Arches, glowing silvery in the dim. Aes Sedai sat around it, their sole focus on the glowing Ter'angreal before them. Not real, just a dream, Dia repeated to herself. It just couldn't be real.

Another Aes Sedai came forward, one Dia dimly recognized as having just come back to the Tower. She had been standing beside a table on which sat three chalices. "I see you found her, Liranan," the woman said. "Just in time too, we were about to call it off and go have lunch."

Liranan smiled. "I'd forgotten she had kitchen duty today, I swear I must have turned the Novice quarters upside down before I remembered, Jolliann."

"The Novice quarters benefit from being turned upside down occasionally. Keeps them on their toes. Is this the one you said was such a handful? She doesn't look so bad."

"It becomes more apparent as you get to know her better," Liranan said, dryly.

Dia gaped at them, barely reigning in her urge to scream. How on earth could they possibly stand there and talk about her like that, like she wasn't standing right there and listening? Just a dream, she reminded herself. The problem was, it didn't feel anything like a dream. Increasingly the possibility this was real because to assert itself.

"Well, we might as well get on with it," Jolliann said.

"Not a moment too soon," muttered one of the Aes Sedai on the floor. Her shawl was trimmed with Blue, but Dia did not recognize her. She and the other two Aes Sedai, a Green and a Gray, were sitting on bare floor before each place where the Arches touched. That, more then anything else, convinced Dia of the reality. Even in her dreams Dia would never have imagined an Aes Sedai sitting cross-legged on bare rock.

Liranan turned to face the rapidly paling Dia, her words firm. "Novices are given three chances at this. You may refuse twice to enter, but at the third refusal, you will be sent away from the Tower forever." Liranan paused. "I advise you to just get it over with now, Dia. If I know you as well as I suspect, dwelling on it will only make things worse for you."

Dia swallowed, thinking on what little she knew of this test, the rumors she'd heard. Thinking of Novices she'd known who'd become Accepted she barely recognized as who they had been. Thinking of Arcena in the infirmary for weeks, with Aes Sedai as closemouthed as only Aes Sedai could be.

Then she thought of Xavier, and for some reason, it wasn't as bad. She took a deep, long breath, and when she released it, she heard a voice much like her own, only much, much calmer, accepting, affirming that she would go on. She clung to the precarious calm.

Liranan gave her a small smile. "Good. Now I will tell you two things no woman hears until she stands where you do. Once you begin you must go on to the end. Refuse at any point and you will put out of the Tower just as if you had refused to begin for the third time. Second. To seek, to strive, is to know danger." Liranan's voice was a strange mix. Her cadence spoke of reciting this more times then Dia could imagine, but there was still a sternness to her voice. Her eyes, though, were strangely sympathetic. Dia swallowed. "Some women have entered and never come out. When the ter'angreal was allowed to grow quiet, they - were - not - there. And they were never seen again. If you will survive, you must be steadfast. Falter, fail and..."

She did not have to spell it out. Dia felt that calm give way to an icy fear that gripped her and made her want to cry out. Stubbornly, she kept herself still and silent.

"This is your last chance. Refuse now, and it counts only as the first. You may still try twice more. If you accept now, there is no turning back. It is no shame to refuse, many cannot do it their first times. Choose."

She could leave. Go back upstairs, where it was safe. Bake bread, attend simple lessons, do chores. Not face his, not yet, not for a while. For a moment, a moment which stretched infinitely longer then it could truly have been, she nearly did. Ever as the words that would take her from here formed on her lips, even as she prepared to go back to that safety, she felt something within her change. She took another deep breath, and released it. "I will go on, Aes Sedai." Dia said, and for some odd reason, it felt more right then anything she'd ever said before.

Liranan nodded. "Ready yourself," she said, leaving Dia to blink for a second. Then a hot blush spread across her face as she remembered the ceremony, which had been overshadowed before by her fear. She took another deep breath and began undoing her clothing. It did not take very long, and the folded them and set them aside when she was finished.

Liranan began leading Dia to the Arches.

"Whom do you bring with you, Sister?" Jolliann intoned formally. There was something in her eyes that suggested she found the whole ritual somewhat laughable, and that something somehow made Dia feel better.

Her measured pace did not falter the slightest as Liranan replied. "One who comes as a candidate for Acceptance, Sister."

"Is she ready?" Something in Jolliann's tone caught at Dia, made her for a moment consider. Was she ready? Could she ever be ready for something like this?

"She is ready to leave behind what she was, and, passing through her fears, gain Acceptance." Liranan sounded more certain than she did, Dia realized with a certain wry humor. The Arches seemed very close now.

"Does she know her fears?" Did she? She was a little afraid of wasps, and heights, but that was surely not what this was about.

"She has never faced them, but now is willing." Willing? No, not willing. But needing, somehow. This had to be done. She would do it. She *had* to do it. Oh, Light.

"Then let her face her fears." Jolliann's tone was one of consolation, but her face was stern. Oh, *Light*

"The first time," Liranan finished, "is for what was. The way back will come but once. Be steadfast."

Please, Dia thought, please, let me survive this. Please.

And then, trembling like a leaf in the wind, she stepped into the glow, and was swallowed by light.

The temperature was perfect. Fleecy clouds filled the sky, like fat white sheep, scooped startled from their pastures and deposited into the endless field of blue above. The fields were in bloom, the scent of a thousand flowers filling the air, and butterflies danced with endless grace above them. Nearby a brook babbled happily, gurgling in sheer delight over smooth stones. A light breeze ruffled the leaves of the trees, making them murmur and whisper amongst themselves, soft words of deep earth and warm sunlight. The world was in spring and spring was the world. Dia had never been so happy in her life.

She rode her mare with an absent-minded grace, humming a dancing song faintly to herself. Occasionally the mare's ear would twitch back as her rider hit a sour note, but Dia paid no mind to the creature. She barely even had to direct the horse -- they'd gone here so often both had nearly memorized every single stone in the path.

It had been a good year. Not just personally, but in a business sense, too. Dia was very well on her way to being the richest woman in Arad Doman, and more then a little smug about it. Tradesmen from The Blightborder to Tanchico cursed her name nightly, ruefully remembering countless times she had turned an outrageous profit at their expense. She hoped those curses gave them some small comfort, they scarcely bothered her. Business was good, and when business was good, all was right with the world.

More then business was good, of course, but that was somewhat beside the point. Or maybe it was the point. Did it matter?

The mare came to a stop and Dia shook herself awake, realizing they were there. The massive stone house before her managed to look gloomy despite the beautiful day, but the grounds were magnificent. Some of the best gardeners in the Country were employed here. It showed.

Somewhat belatedly a servant darted out from the directions of the stables, to help her down. He babbled apologizes for not coming at once to her until she silenced him with a smile and a "I don't mind." Then he lead the horse away, and a maid came to escort her to the Lord of the House.

The halls she passed through were scrumptiously appointed. The King's Palace in Bandar Eban looked dull by comparison. Dia was in a position to compare. The sheer elegance of the place was designed to make any visitor instantly aware of their own position in life, and how inferior it was to the Lord's. Dia had never felt terribly inferior, but then, she never did.

They finally came to a set of double doors of richly carved wood, where the maid knocked once, then entered. The maid murmured something to the Lord, then with a curtsey, left.

She looked at him for a long moment. Lord Ervin Keefe, second cousin to the King of Arad Doman, nephew of the Panarch of Tarabon, and generally regarded to have some of the most Noble blood on this side of the Mountains of Mist. He was a handsome man of light brown hair and darting forest green eyes. He was rich, powerfully, and intensely clever.

"If you stand there all night, beloved, I shall eventually get bored and have to find something else to do," he said, his rich voice causing shivers to travel up her spine.

With a smile that lit up her eyes, she crossed the room to him.

It was a short while later, and the sun was setting. Dia and Ervin sat across the table from each other, having just consumed a satisfying meal. Dia was smiling, glowing with that inner warmth that comes from having love, success, and a good meal. Ervin also wore a faint smile, his absently running his finger along the outer edge of a glass.

"You're distracted," she finally said.

He jerked a little, nearly knocking the glass over. Dia snaked a hand out and caught it just in time.

She handed it back to him. "Thank you, dear. I'm just..mulling something over."

"Oh?" she asked, arching her eyebrows teasingly.

"Don't do that."

She batted her eyelashes. "Whatever do you mean, my Lord?"

He grinned. "What am I going to do with you, Dia?"

"I could certainly think of something."

He laughed. "I imagine you could. But aren't you the slightest bit curious what I'm thinking?"

Dia rolled her eyes. He was so much like a little boy sometimes. "All right, dear, what were you thinking about?"

"You, actually."

"That does seem to fit well with our previous conversation...."

He laughed again. "Not about that dear."

"Well, that's rather disappointing. Am I doing something wrong?"

He took her hand and kissed it. "Not a thing, beloved. But I had something interesting pointed out to me yesterday, and I've been considering it a lot."

"If you tell me you don't want to see me anymore, Ervin, I swear I'll-"

"No! No, it's not that."

"Good, you'd look so much less handsome without your head."

"Are you serious?"

"What was the point of this conversation again?"

He coughed slightly. "Oh, yes. It was pointed out to me by an associate that things seem to happen around you."

Dia waited for a moment. He didn't continue. "That's it?" She asked incredulously. "Things happen around me? Things happen around everyone, dear, it's called life."

He shook his head. "I'm not referring to the day to day things. I'm talking about how often things seem to happen around you that normally wouldn't. Like men seeming to lose their wits and agree to anything you propose at the bargaining table."

"That's hardly uncommon around Domani women traders, you know."

"No, it isn't, but not only does it happen more often with you, but with you it's less likely. You use your wits, Dia love, not your looks, although you are pretty enough. And many of these men are used to dealing with the Domani who can make a man swoon with a mere look, you're not going to have them that frazzled."

"You're making a fuss over nothing, dear."

"I'm not through. It's not just on the bargaining table. It's stuff like how last week you and Lady Ariest were walking through town, and there was that stampede of horses, and they charged right around you, knocked every other person they encountered over, but you and she didn't have so much as a hair out of place."

"It's called luck. Also not too uncommon."

"Dia, don't pass this off lightly. These things happen too often around you just to be luck. There's even some whispered about you being Aes Sedai"

Dia stared at him with her mouth hanging open. "Aes Sedai? Me? Ervin, are you insane?"

He gave her a gentle smile. "Everyone who really knows you knows better. Besides..." he trailed off.

"Besides? Besides what? Ervin, what? Ervin!"

Slowly he responded. "If you were an Aes Sedai, all of these strange coincidences would probably be for your own good. But they aren't, always. Like the time you tripped and fell on that perfectly smooth street and broke your arm. Or the time those well tied up boxes of ice peppers you'd traded for somehow came undone and hit the man you were trying to sell them to. Or a thousand other incidences."

"What on earth are you trying to say, dear? I'm a Ta'veren?" She stopped when she saw the look on his face. "Oh, come now, that's totally ridiculous. I'm Dia Evens, the merchant. I own half of this country, but I'm hardly a Ta'veren. Are there lords swearing me fealty every time I sneeze? Do I march at the head of armies? Of course not! Now, for heaven's sake, discard that idea. I just have odd luck."

He looked dubious, started to protest, but was abruptly silenced as she leaned over and kissed him. "Well," he finally managed when she pulled back. If you say so, dea-"

The windows broke in.

Dia pulled back with a scream, watching with horror as creatures with snouts and honrs, creatures that could only be...had to be....but they couldn't be..

Trollocs....

She felt her back hit the wall behind her with a certain surprise. She hadn't been aware she was backing away. She felt faintly ashamed. She had never run from anything in her life, not anything. Now she was desperately trying to bolt, without even making sure Ervin was okay. Was this the truth then? Was she really just a coward, all bluster and no backbone?

Ervin had places himself between her and the Trollocs. Dimly, through her fear, she saw they were cutting her off from the door. She gave the little whimper and felt her legs give out. Slowly, she sank to the ground, whimpering in terror. Just a coward after all.

"Just give us the girl," an awful voice said. Dia whimpered again and buried her face in her hands. "Just give us the woman, and we'll leave you alone."

"You'll get her over my dead body." Ervin said. Which was true, Dia knew. He would die, and then they would take her. She was trembling so hard her teeth clattered together. Tentatively she peaked through her fingers.

And saw a flash of silver nearby.

The way back will come but once...

It was too horrible. She couldn't move. She couldn't move! She was frozen with terror.

Be steadfast

There were the sounds of fighting. It would be over soon, and they would take her.

The way back...be steadfast....steadfast...

Her legs trembled too much to support her. She had to crawl to the glowing Arch. And then they saw her crawling and that was very bad. Something horrible in a cloak lunged at her, and it had no eyes. Ervin was behind her, being hurt, no, being killed. He was screaming. She scrambled to her feet, darting away from the Fade, away from Ervin, and into the Arch. Just a coward after all.

Then the light took it all away.

Dia half fell sideways out of the Arch, stumbling. She would have fallen had Liranan not reached out and caught her arm, steadying her. Dia jerked away from the woman as memory came crashing back.

Cold clear water washed over her, with Jolliann's voice intoning. "You are washed clean of what sin you may have done, and of those done against you. You are washed clean of what crimes you may have committed, and of those committed against you. You come to us washed clean and pure, in heart and soul."

As she stood there dripping, Dia wondered. She wondered if anything could ever wash away what she'd seen, what she'd done. In the end, she thought it unlikely.

And two more Arches remained.

I'm just..I'm just a coward after all. Dia thought miserably. She was shaking so hard she thought she might shake to pieces. Water mixed with tears coursed down her face to drip, unnoticed, to the floor.

Liranan tried to take her arm again, but Dia pulled away. "Don't touch me." She whispered.

Liranan seemed to sigh a little, then she pulled back. "Will you go on? If you stop now, it means.."

Dia knew what it meant. Fine. She had never wanted to be an Aes Sedai. She opened her mouth to end it. To make the pain and the tears all stop.

A small thought silenced her. If you run away now....it will be true. You will be nothing but a coward. There's no shame in the fear, only in not facing it.

Dia took a deep breath interrupted by a little sob. "I will go on," she managed. "Only...only...is it real?"

Liranan Sedai again took her arm gently, and guided her around the Arches. This time Dia did not pull away. "Is it real? I do not know. No one truly knows. What we do know is the danger is real. Remember that."

And now they stood before the next glowing Arch. "The Second time is for what is. The way back will come but once. Be steadfast." For a moment Dia thought she couldn't move again. No shame in fear..only in not facing it. She stepped into light.

Cool metal at her throat. Cool metal, delicately encircling. She had felt it there so long that sometimes it seemed she had always felt it. Cool metal, delicately, gently, almost lovingly wrapped around her neck.

Cool metal controlling, cool metal binding. Cool metal punishing.

How long ago had it begun? How long ago had she first felt that cool metal encircle her throat?

A long time. It didn't really matter. She was a damane, and damane did not think of such things.

She sat obediently in her room. Her gray dress was immaculate. Zadrima had instructed her to make herself presentable and then wait. Obediently, the Damane waited.

With a click, the door opened. Sul'dam Zadrima entered and surveyed her change for a long moment. Sul'dam rarely gained truly high rank, but Zadrima was trying -- and, to a degree, succeeding. Her capture and training of this particular Damane had aided that quest greatly. Her blue dress with the red panels was of higher quality then most Sul'dam wore, the silver forked lightning on it seemed to glow. The damane stared at it calmly. She remembered wearing nice things, once. But that was before the leash.

The leash which connected that cool metal collar to a simple bracelet, hung without much concern to a peg along the wall. Zadrima took the bracelet and wordlessly put it on.

Marginally, the damane relaxed. It really was best when Zadrima wore the bracelet. So long as the Damane followed the rules, and Zadrima was there, she was safe.

"Do you know," Zadrima said abruptly, "what will happen today?"

"No, Sul'dam," the damane said, respectfully.

"A High Lady has asked to see you. You have apparently come to the attention of The Blood. It is not surprising, to me, Ashaki, but many of my Sul'dam, knowing I have worked a triumph with you, are most displeased. They are thinking, perhaps, that I may rise to be perhaps even a so'jhin." A smile, not wholly pleasant, crossed Zadrima's lips. As always, something within the Damane almost protested the name, but not quite. She was damane.

Zadrima now smiled at her, gently, favorably. She had been a good damane, it would seem. "If all goes well today, you may have a treat with dinner. Now, come."

Obediently, the damane followed Zadrima. She did not worry about where they were going, or whom they went to see. She would be taken care of, so long as she obeyed. And obedience was automatic now.

And after the protocol had been gone through, the bows and genuflection made, the damane stood looking formally at the ground with the Lady and Zadrima spoke for a time. Then the Lady began her questions. The Damane was used to the questions, there had always been the questions.

"What is your name?"

"Ashaki, Lady."

"Not the name you bear now, that which you came to us with."

The damane glanced at Zadrima, who nodded. "I was...I was called Dia Evens, Lady."

"How barbaric a name. The one you have now is more fitting. How did you come to be leashed?"

"I was...training in the Tower, Lady. I refused to complete a test and they put me out."

"What test?" The Lady interrupted. "It was....some call it the Arches, Lady. We are sent into a Ter'angreal to face our fears. I was not strong enough, and refused to do so the third time. As is Tower Law, they sent me away."

"And then?"

"I was heading to my former home, in Arad Doman, when Zadrima found me and leashed me. I have served since."

"Served, but not willingly, at first."

"No, Lady," the damane said with embarrassment. "At first I did not understand that I must be leashed. I fought and injured many before Zadrima eventually made me understand."

"And now?"

The Damane was slightly confused by the question. "Now I am damane, Lady," she said meekly.

Zadrima spoke respectfully. "She does not yet understand, Lady. Shall I explain?"

The Lady must have nodded, because Zadrima appeared before the damane. "You are not as the other Damane, Ashaki. You have a gift, an ability, a Talent. There are those the lady serves who wish the use of this Talent. You will be going with them."

"Leaving you?" Fear edged the Damane's voice.

"It is for the best, Ashaki. The best...for all of us." And while she did not say it, the thought of being a so'jhin colored Zadrima's voice. "Now, look at those you will be going with."

Cautiously, the damane raised her head. She was afraid, but she obeyed. Obedience was her purpose.

A man and a woman stood there. They did not speak, or look any different then others, but the damane knew what they were, nonetheless. They were of the Shadow, her new Masters. Dimly, some part of her screamed against this, but she ignored it. She was damane, she obeyed. They had said these were her new Masters, and they were.

The one looked her over with a certain satisfaction. He was very handsome, save for a scar that marred his face. He looked her over with a interest.

Is she satisfactory?" The High Lady inquired to him, her voice strangely subservient.

"She is perfect. You have done well, and will be rewarded. You, come here," he ordered the damane.

The damane instantly went to him. He glanced at his companion. She beckoned to Zadrima, who instantly removed the bracelet and passed it to her. The woman put it on her wrist. She was blond and very lovely. Something in her eyes was momentary speculative as she studied the damane.

"No," the man said to her. "We need this one. There are others suitable for your....amusements."

She seemed to hold in a sigh, but that speculative look went away. The man did something, and a slash of light appeared, rotating into a doorway to another place. Incuriously the damane studied it.

The way back will come but once, a voice murmured in her memory, and numbly, the damane knew what that meant. Calmly, the turned her head slightly to one side, and it was there, the Arch.

The damane knew she should go to it. But they had not told her to. Indecision caught her.

"Go through the Gateway, girl." Ordered the blond. The damane began to move.

Be steadfast

The Damane paused, torn. They had ordered her, yet...

Abruptly she turned away and started running for the Arch.

The yelling began even as she ran. "Ashaki, STOP!" yelled Zadrima, and the damane stumbled. She..had to..obey...go...Arch...steadfast.. The Blond woman smiled a nasty sort of smile. and then the damane did fall, because the pain was so bad, and the leash was stopping her, she dragged herself to her feet, every nerve screaming, and fell backward, the blond woman drawn forward enough, fell backward into the light, with the pain picking her into pieces...