You go girl!
The other day Oprah told her audience that she will still do her much anticapated Oprah show. The last few days she has been eating and thinking like crazy on how to attract a new audience. She just couldnt think of much. Next week she is gonna start doing vampire week where she has Janet Reno sucking the adiences blood. Oprah is hoping for good ratings there. The next week she will have Dan Quale do a speeling bee contest with Pamela Anderson. This one should be good. Next week it will be makeovers on Democrats done by republicans. Bob dole will be doing Bill Clinton's makeover. Stick around for that one. And finally she'll go back to Vampire week with Janet Reno and Al Gore.
In related news about Vampires...
Here she comes...ms. drink all your blood!
Ms. Illinois won the Ms. America contest the other day. At one point in the show she wore all black and that made me wonder. So, I caught up with her later when I got past her guys and I asked her if she was a vampire and she said "so what if I am?" I then asked if she was again and she viciously beat me up and drank all my blood. I guess that will answer all the questions.
And that was the women of the world current events!
The ever-lovin Music News!!!!!
Hey (Hey) You (You) I am still alive!
Rooling Stones have come out with yet another album. Some wonder how they can still perform without having a heart attack or there pacemakers going out, but they do. The Stones announced there new album and tour in New York under a bridge where stupid news people asked questions like "do you still like singing" and "are you looking forward to touring" and "is that your real color?" Rooling Stones have been told on one of there new songs that it sounds a lot like the song "Constant Craving" by K.D. Lang. At first they ignored it until so many people told them that he gave credit and royalties to k.D. Lang for the song. And this shocks a lot of people sayingt, "Rooling Stones and K.D. lang are still alive?" Yes, they are still alive and K.D. is boring as ever.
In related news...The doors are coming out with a new full-length album with the piano player playing elevator music with 8 different versions of "People are Strange".
And that was the Some bands just wont just die already music news!
The popular Movie news!!!
I'm so cool I can shave my head and still be beautiful!
The movie G.I. Jane came out a couple weeks ago doing very very well in the box office. The star is Demi Moore playing the first women to make it to try for the Navy Seals. She looked like crap about 80 percent of this movie but still people went just to see her. In unfortunate news, Demi had to go to the hospital in the middle of the movie. Apparently she broke a nail and she said "it really hurt". Demi got put back on the movie set then beat up some navy guys and took a shower.
And that was the pretty boring movie news!
And that was the J-News!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
