What would Freud say about it . . .?

    "Is that the best you can do?"
    The words echoed in Balanthalus' mind.
    "Well, Bazil," he said to himself, "shall I cut off a few of your limbs next time I knock you out and tie you naked to a flagpole?  Besides, that was just for fun.  Next time I get serious."
    As his wounded adversary to the southeast and his sexually confused adversary to the southwest advanced on each other in the woods, the very heterosexual bard was tirelessley crossing the grassy plains far to the north at sunrise.  As the sun began to warm up the area, Bal's pace became less than tireless.  More than that, he sensed that he needed more than the general feeling he had been given before.  He sat down in the middle of the prarie and decided to take a nap.
    After an hour or so, he began to dream . . .
    He was now in a forest, with Julian and Bazil advancing on him.  He ducked to avoid a mighty blow from Julian, then immediately rolled to the side to dodge a magic missle from Bazil.  He ran, feeling an unexplained sense of fear.  The others, absorbed in combating each other, did not persue him.  He ran on and on, until he could hardly see them anymore.  Suddenly,
the loud-pitched screech of a bird resounded in his ears.  Balanthalus turned to see an eagle burst into flames to become a pheonix.  It let out another, louder screech, then curled into a searing fireball and rocketed toward the ground.  It crashed into the area where Julian and Bazil were still locked in combat with a fiery explosion.
    When Bal unshielded his eyes, he saw the area ablaze and his enemies apparently incinerated.  Then he heard one last, deafining shriek . . .
    . . . And awoke with a start.  He looked straight up, to see another fireball!  No . . . it was just the sun.  He really would have to stop brewing wine with lembas wafers before a battle . . . the interesting side-effects were sometimes undesirable.  He looked foreward, but was temporarially blinded by sunspots in his eyes.  When he could see again, he rubbed his eyes to make sure what he was seeing was real.  It was.  The field had apparently caught fire while he was dreaming.  A pattern was
apparent in charred portions of grass.  It was . . . a map.  Balanthalus saw the place where he stood, saw the island he needed to reach, and saw the temple where his goal lay.
    "The others must not see this map," he thought.  Balanthalus spent half an hour burning contradictory patterns into the map, while covering up other areas with fresh-looking grass.  If they wished to follow him, he would have a sizeable lead.  He struck off . . . in search of a town where he could attain a ship to sail him to his destiny . . .

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