Meet the Mads!
8.Dr.Pepper
Her description of herself:
"I'm an attractive brunette, 5'10, who likes long walks and...oops,
sorry, wrong description.My name's appropriate 'cause I'm bubbly (at first), bitter, and have a nasty
aftertaste. I can't believe those freaks at Gizmonics kicked me out! All I did
was hit on that adorable guy in the red jumpsuit, Joel what's-his-face. Okay,
so it got a *little* physical. Okay, so I jumped him in the hallway and tried
to strip him. Still, it's no reason. But I digress...
I'm considered a little bizarre by my friends, mostly because I zone out in the
middle of conversations and come back in with weird little comments that have
*nothing* to do with what *anybody* is talking about. But really, I'm
conducting secret psychology experiments. A year or so more, and I'll have all
the information I need for my BIG SECRET PLAN. I can't tell you what it is,
'cause then it wouldn't be secret.
Okay, okay, I'll wrap it up. I like mind games, heavy, blunt objects, cute
sleepy-eyed guys in red jumpsuits, and the subtle wit of Terry Pratchett. I
don't like evil social studies teachers (BURN, YANKU, BURN!), the way-ups at
Gizmonics, or people who question my superiority. There, you know stuff about
me. Ya happy?"
9.Dr. Lionel Hutz has been replaced with.....
Dr.Dexter Poppinopolous,
who not long after, e-mailed me with this letter.
"I killed Lionel, that stupid fiece of filth! He and I duke it
out one morning after I got him drunk and plunked him on the
head! Then sent him on
a one way trip to that island, what do you call it... Earth!
yes! And he
won't be seen until we get to Purgatory!
I am an eccentric, figedy, fun-loving, magic-using, kinda guy. I
keep in touch with many of the League's founders. I've never
done anything wrong(shut-up!), except if you count population
control on at least sixty-some worlds. I often enter
tournaments of the arcane arts and have a small yoga group. Why i
s it small? Well, most never pass my front door before I find
out that they aren't the IRS or bank or Hired Goons. You
can't call me doctor yet, but when I rule the world that won't
matter will it? However I do have all the necessary skills to
bring back the dead, heal arthritis....
You can tell if I drop by if you find large griffin
droppings because my pet is sick, and I don't think he's
getting better soon, if i'm any judge of griffins."
Favorite quote: " I don't see your name on it!"
Most laborious job: Cleaning up my pressure dome after "popping" some
specimens.
Likes: The Planters Mr. Peanut; the notion that I can have
political puppets with an assortment of things that look like
gold (i.e. brass); mulligans in an assortment of games; and
painting miniatures.
Dislikes: School lunches; Japanese instruction booklets;
electricity bills; Marvin the Martian, and he calls himself
an extraterrestrial!
My most amazing ability; being able to balance my check-book! GASP!
10.Dr.Ramikin
"Here is the bio of one "Dr.(?) Ramikin" sent by yours
truely, his drooling
assistant, Nemo.
Dr. Ramikin was born at the young age of 15. From then on, he did the things
most commonly associated with mad scientists like burn ants with magnifying
glasses, play mad video games, and create life
.
When he was 18 he created me, Nemo, and used me to perform unspeakable acts
of mayhem, usually used to make the people in his neighborhood go "What the?"
He also uses me to perform deeds doesn't want credit for like starting the
Gulf War, going back in time to castrate Hitler, performing the first head
transplant, and going trick or treating.
He gained a lot of notoriety in the mad scientists community 3 years ago by
getting doctorates in mad-physics, mad-biology, mad-computer science, and of
course mad-fashion design in just under one year. Most people believe he
created those people who gave him the dorcorates, as evidenced by his degree
in mad-fashion design, but he insists that they are all legit and threatens
the life and family of those who argue against them.
Currently, this mad mad Dr. Ramikin just completed his work on the
"intercake," which will allow people to share cake with their on-line friends
over the internet. This has led to work developing the "interpie," the
"interfries," and the "internuclear fusion device," all of which will allow
the user to send each respective object to a "friend."
Well, I think he's on to me now, so I've got to go. Just remember that even
though he created me, he must be stopped. At all costs. He must be
stopped!!!!"
End of transmission
11. Dr.Jane Amaris Smith
I'm Dr. Jane Amaris Smith. Fellow Mads call me Amy.
I can be seen wearing six ponytails, rather thick glasses,
and a tie-dyed labcoat. I'm "between experiments" right now,
but I really love torturing high-school kids. Schools are
Cheesy Documentary paradise, let me tell you...
12.Dr.Bert I Wood
My story is that in my home country of Zappafrank my favorite
baby seal was getting a beating and it died. Well was I going to
do? I said "I'll bring it back from the dead", people told me I
was mad, MAD, MAD I tell you!
They were right.
Well my seal worked
somewhat (it pees all over), it's name is Bob.
To the ones who
used
to laugh at me:
Guess what, I'm laughing now and the person that
laughs last laughs loudest!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
13. DR. DAYTON KELDON
Dr. Dayton Keldon is sort of the rebel of the group, and is easily
identified (e.g. he wears a black leather lab coat, he routinely breaks
beakers over other scientists' heads, and his "company vehicle" is really a
monster truck).
Dr. Keldon worked at Gizmonic for 3 years as a researcher for Dr. Forrester
(it's rumored that he discovered the infamous Master Ninja I and II), but
when Dr. F parted ways with the Institute, Dr. Keldon left to pursue other work.
Today, Dayton is Vice-President of the Mentos Foundation, and has
temporarily postponed the Movie Project to perfect a process that transforms
organic life forms into mindless robots. (NOTE: Any similarities between Dr.
Keldon's latest project and the work of a certain fat, mustached mad
scientist from a popular series of video games is strictly co-incidental.)
LIKES: *All-night Twisted Metal tournaments
*When fellow mad scientists don't mind him bringing his
boom box to the lab
*Dr. No from the 007 movie - that guy was a real class act
DISLIKES: *When grant money goes to stupid things like medicl research and
aerospace technology instead of the advancement of mad science
*Those pain-in-the-ass "world peace" freaks
*Bill Nye the Science Guy - a disgrace to all sciences
14. Dr. Eudora Scully
She's...um.....pretty groovy, man. She's best friends with Tv's Bean and she smells
like poo-poo (Bean just said that when she was joking, but it got written here
anyway).
Likes: Using her little dog for a bowling ball; Gypsy's answer to the question "What would you do if you were the Amazing Colosal Man?"
"I'd take my head......and make a hat."
and last but not least, she likes David Duchovney
Dislikes: Full House
Favorite Song: the ever-campy "1984" by Tina Turner
Motto: "I fell on my bottom"
Hero: Ralph Wiggum
15.The Rogue Scholar
I'm just a physicist who dreams of world domination. I can't tell you
any more, since my involvement (or not?) in any of a number of secret
organizations (which may or may not exist) would require me to kill you,
and I really don't like to do that. The paperwork is a pain in the
butt. Really. You may be able to access more at my Laboratory, but I make
no guarantees.
Go to page 3
E-mail
disclaimer:"Deep 13" is from the classic episodes of a show called "Mystery Science Theater 3000" and is therefore owned by Best Brains inc. "The Gizmonic Institute" and the word "Gizmonic" ect, all owned by Joel Hodgson. Everything copyrighted that is refered to here is done so without permission but please, please, please don't sue because I have no money whatsoever and am not making any money off of this.