From 0029982@gps.gp.k12.mi.us Thu Nov 21 12:42:24 1996
Hi folks!
       This is just a little something I wrote out of EXTREME whimsy. 
It is meant as humor and I hope that it is taken as humor.;) Still, 
seeing our intrepid agents and their boss *IS* a bit much for any 
seasoned X-Phile....;)

Kris "Beast" Abel
The Beast Of Creation
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     FREE SPEECH IS OUT THERE!
     FIGHT THE CONSPIRACY - MULDER WOULD!


From 0029982@gps.gp.k12.mi.us Thu Nov 21 12:42:24 1996
I was just reading "Stranded for X-Mas" by MacSpooky and this weird idea 
fell out of the sky and boinked me on the head. Call me crazy, call me 
eccentric for a 16 year old, but this seemed like a good thing to write.;)

Disclaimer: The X-Files belong to Carter, 1013, and FOX Network. I know I
should be more respectful than this to the character's integrity and 
maturity, but, that's something us teenagers never quite learn anyways.;)

Summary: Mulder and Scully breach a discussion on something *I* think would
be slightly hilarious if it were ever discussed on the show. Rated PG. UST
evident in some areas.

Dedicated to the days gone by when having to name everything was the most
vital job in the world. Yes, Nay, the Hovel will be dessicated with this in
the future.;)

"Names"
    by Kris "Beast" Abel
       0029982@gps.gp.k12.mi.us

     "Did you *have* to put bigfoot stickers all over that last report?"
Agent Dana Scully sighed. Her taller partner just looked thoughtfully at the
aforementioned report dug around in his desk drawer. He pulled out a package 
of stickers and began to decorate the next report with little green aliens 
in flying yellow saucers.
     "I'm just conveying my artistic sarcasm to the masses, Scully," Mulder
explained, head bent to his task. "Besides, I figure Skinner needs some 
humor in his life."
     "Yeah, but at our expense?" She scolded. The intercom bipped right then
and Scully picked up the phone. 
     "Hello? Yes, this is her." She paused and frowned. "Yes, please 
transfer his call." She put down the phone and put the line on speakerphone.
"Now you've done it."
     "What?" Mulder said innocently.
     "Skinner wants to talk to us over the intercom about the 'decorations'
on our last formal report, Mulder," Scully glared at him; menace in her eyes.
There was a click from the phone as they were switched into Skinner's 
office. Scully opened her mouth to begin apologizing when the sounds of 
heavy breathing filled the air and.
     "Oh, Skinney Whinney!" 
     "Oh, Peachy Whechy!" Was heard loud and clear in a woman's voice and 
then Skinner's. Mulder clapped a hand over his mouth to keep from laughing
even as Scully's cheeks flushed red in embarassment.
     "Oh, plumb that well!" The woman groaned.
     "Anything for my little Suzy Bear!" Skinner moaned in response. By now,
hilarity had grown to hysterity and tears were streaming down Mulder's face
at the effort not to laugh. Stamping her foot on the ground, Scully wiped
her own tears from her face and pushed the "answer" button on the intercom.
     "Sorry for interrupting," she said, a waver evident in her voice, and
turned the intercom off. The minute it was off, Mulder let loose a wild
laugh that echoed around the room; accomanied by Scully's sweet giggles. 
Neither one had laughed this hard since their very first case together.
     "Skinney Whinney?!" Mulder laughed.
     "Plumb that well?!" Scully giggled. In the end, they ended up sitting
next to each other in front of Mulder's desk; legs crossed and eyes wet.
Quieting down, Scully leaned her head back and let out a long sigh; a grand
smile on her fair face. 
     "I don't think I've ever laughed this hard," Mulder grinned, turning to
his now calm partner. "I also don't know how *anyone* could call someone
else 'Peachy Wechy'!" He snorted. Scully laughed again and flipped her hair
behind her neck.
     "Well, when people are in a moment of passion or in love, they often
come up with ridiculous names." Scully explained. "I mean, I had a boyfriend
once who used to call me 'Firefly'."
     "Firefly? But that's not as bad as Foxy Woxy," Mulder flushed.
     "Foxy Woxy? You're kidding, right?" Mulder just looked at her. "What
*bimbo* came up with a name like *that*?"
     "My sister," Mulder answered. Now it was Scully's turn to flush and 
stare at the floor.
     "Sorry," she whispered.
     "It's okay...Shorty," Mulder teased.
     "Beanpole."
     "Stumpy."
     "Tall, dork, and ugly."
     "Short n' sour."
     "Spooky."
     "Mrs.Spooky."
     "Tailchaser."
     "The Enigma."
     "Stranger."
     "Extraordinary." Mulder smiled at her as he stood up. Scully, eyes 
dark, followed him; standing proud beside him. She could tell that this was
leading in a direction far away from insults. So, Scully changed the game 
with him; a sly look coming over her features.
     "Holmes."
     "Watson."
     "Ying-,"
     "Yang."
     "Brilliant."
     "Talented."
     "Handsome."
     "Etheral."
     "Protective."
     "Stubborn."
     "Touch of Heaven."
     "Love of a lifetime."
     "Opposites attract."
     "Then it's agreed?"
     "Yes." And their lips met in the sweetest of kisses.
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A Few Hours Later...

     "Oh Foxy Woxy!"
     "Oh Firefly!"
     "I think that I have to get this intercom fixed," the janitor mumbled 
to himself and walked on.
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Okay, so it isn't a high caliber a story - it was a goof piece for
chrissakes!
Well, in love and war, e-mail me with your comments and acts or rage.
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"My eyes feel like they're going to bleed."
                            -Green Day