i never thought id die alone
i laughed the loudest who'd have known
i traced the cord back to the wall
no wonder it was never plugged in at all
i took my time
i hurried up
the choice was mine i didnt think enough
im too depresssed to go on
youll be sorry when im gone

i never conquered, rarely came
16 just held such better days
days when i still felt alive
we couldnt wait to get outside
the world was wide, too late to try
the tour was over id(wed) survived
i couldnt wait till i got home
to pass the time in my room alone

id never thought id die alone
another six months ill be alone
give all my things to all my friends
youll never step foot in my room again
youll close it off
board it up
remember the time
i spilled the cup
of apple juice
in the hall
please tell mom this is not her fault

i never conquered, rarely came
16 just held such better days
days when i still felt alive
we couldnt wait to get outside
the world was wide, too late to try
the tour was over id survived
i couldnt wait till i got home
to pass the time in my room alone

i never conquered, rarely came
tomorrow holds such beter days
days when i can still feel alive
when i cant wait to get outside
the world is wide, the time goes by
the tour is over, ive survived
i cant wait till i get home
to pass the time in my room alone.

She calls me from the cold
Just when I was low, feeling short of stable
And all that she intends
And all she keeps inside, isn't on the label
She says she's ashamed
And she can take me for a while
And can I be a friend, we'll forget the past
But maybe I'm not able
And I break at the bend
                                                
We're here and now, but will we ever be again
'Cause I have found
All that shimmers in this world is sure to fade
Away again
                                                
She dreams a champagne dream
Strawberry surprise, pink linen and white paper
Lavender and cream
Fields of butterflies, reality escapes her
She says that love is for fools that fall behind
And I'm somewhere in between
I never really know
A killer from a savior
'Til I break at the bend
                                                
We're here and now, but will we ever be again
'Cause I have found
All that shimmers in this world is sure to fade
Away again
                                          
It's too far away for me to hold
It's too far away....

It's too far away for me to hold
It's too far away....

It's too far away for me to hold
It's too far away....

It's too far away for me to hold
It's too far away....

It's too far away for me to hold
It's too far away....

It's too far away for me to hold
It's too far away....
Guess I'll let it go

she's in love
but she doesn't know
what she needs or how to let go
feels like
being married
she was too young
to miscarry
she says
"bye bye my childhood dream man
I will keep in touch if I can.
spent the best years of my life with you!"

happens every time
you start to lose yourself
you turn to blame the one
that loves you the most
to stay and work it out is harder than to run away
so she leaves a note because to his face she couldn't say
"bye bye my childhood dream man
I will keep in touch if I can.
spent the best years of my life with you!"

hold on and if you can,
hold on......
so all things
fade away in time
what was once so bright
somehow no longer shines
thought that they would last
thought he was the one
thought she had the strength
to hold on....
"bye bye my childhood dream (she couldnt hold on)  man
I will keep in touch if I (just couldnt hold on) can. 
spent the best years of my life with you!"
"bye, bye my teenage angel
I don't know how the spell was broken.
I don't know what I'm doing but I'll miss you!
I don't know what I'm doing but I'll miss you!
I don't know what I'm doing but I'll miss you..."

I know your life is empty 
And you hate to face this world alone 
So you're searching for an angel 
Someone who can make you whole 

I can not save you 
I can't even save myself 
So just save yourself 

I know that you've been damaged 
Your soul has suffered such abuse 
But I am not your savior 
I am just as fucked as you 
I am just as fucked as you 
I can not save you 
I can't even save myself 
So just save yourself 

Please don't take pity on me 
Please don't take pity on me 
Please don't take pity on me 
Please don't take pity on me 

My life has been a nightmare 
My soul is fractured to the bone 
And if I must be lonely, I think I'd rather be alone 
I think I'd rather be alone 

You can not save me 
You can't even save yourself 
I can not save you 
I can't even save myself 
Save yourself 
So just save yourself 

Everywhere I go I see your face 
Every sound I hear is the sound of your voice 
Why are you haunting me 
Why are you haunting me 
Why can't I let you go 

Why are you haunting me? 
Why are you haunting me? 
Why are you haunting me? 
Why are you haunting me? 

Everything about me is a lie 
At least it seems that way when I look in your eyes 
The truth scares the shit out of me 
Whoever said love is real and love is blood 
has never felt the way that I do 

What does it matter? 
What's done is done and I should get on with my life 
Why are you haunting me? 
Why are you haunting me? 
Why are you haunting me? 
Why are you haunting me? 

Well, I don't know what it means 
But I can't seem to make myself forget 
Was it something that you said 
Was it all the guilt inside my head 

Why are you haunting me? 
Why are you haunting me? 
Why are you haunting me? 
Why are you haunting me? 
Why are you haunting me? 
Why are you haunting me? 

Six o'clock in the morning 
My head is ready to explode 
I can't believe I made it home alive 
I don't remember where I went 
Or what I was drinking 
And now it's made me sick 
And I'm not denying 
That I get this way 
When I try to get over you 
I get this way 
When I try to get over you 

Sometimes it hurts 
So much to lose the one you love 
Sometimes it hurts 
So much to lose the one you love 

I tried so hard to hate you 
But it only makes it all worse 
I only end up hating myself 
And as my hatred grows 
So do the lies 
It's hard to face the truth sometimes 
God I feel so useless 
God I hate myself 
When I try to get over you 
I hate myself 
Will I ever get over you 

Sometimes it hurts 
So much to lose the one you love 
Sometimes it hurts 
So much to lose the one you love 

And after all this time you'd think I'd understand the way you feel 
But no 
I only think about myself 
And it's driving you away 
I always knew it would one day 

Sometimes it hurts 
So much to lose the one you love 
Sometimes it hurts 
So much to lose the one you love 
Sometimes it hurts 
So much to lose the one you love 
Sometimes it hurts 
So much to lose the one you love 

Lost in a world of doubt and insecurity 
Nothing that you hold sacred, nothing you believe 
Your life is a contradiction 
While you thrive on manipulation 
I fight to just hold on to what I believe 

I won't become the thing I hate 
I won't become the thing I hate 
I won't become the thing I hate 
I won't become you 

You've treated me like I'm a worthless piece of shit 
You think you're in control but you make me sick 
I want to watch you suffer 
The way that you've made me suffer 
I want to fuck up everything you've ever loved 

I won't become the thing I hate 
I won't become the thing I hate 
I won't become the thing I hate 
I won't become you 
I won't become the thing I hate 
I won't become the thing I hate 
I won't become the thing I hate 
I won't become the thing I hate 
I won't become the thing I hate 
I won't become you 

when I was four years old
they tried to test my I.Q.
they showed me a picture
of 3 oranges and a pear
they said,
which one is different?
it does not belong
they taught me different is wrong
but when I was 13 years old
I woke up one morning
thighs covered in blood
like a war
like a warning
that I live in a breakable takeable body
an ever-increasingly valuable body
that a woman had come in the night to replace me
deface me
see,
my body is borrowed
yeah, I got it on loan
for the time in between my mom and some maggots
I don't need anyone to hold me
I can hold my own
I got highways for stretchmarks
see where I've grown
I sing sometimes
like my life is at stake
'cause you're only as loud 
as the noises you make
I'm learning to laugh as hard
as I can listen
'cause silence
is violence
in women and poor people
if more people were screaming then I could relax
but a good brain ain't diddley
if you don't have the facts
we live in a breakable takeable world
an ever available possible world
and we can make music
like we can make do
genius is in a back beat
backseat to nothing if you're dancing
especially something stupid
like I.Q.
for every lie I unlearn
I learn something new
I sing sometimes for the war that I fight
'cause every tool is a weapon -
if you hold it right.