The Planet of the Meatballs
A SC fanfic by KayLynn
Part 6
…In the CommPost, Commander Goddard is drumming his fingers on the engineering station. The others are anxiously waiting around…
Ms. Davenport: What if they don't get it fixed in time? Then what??
Bova: Then we sink into the spaghetti and are never heard from again.
Rosie: Oh, I think they'll get it fixed…
Harlan: Yeah, they'd better, all right.
…Meanwhile, Radu is rummaging through a drawer in the galley. Suddenly he grabs something and races to the engine room. Bursting in (and startling Catalina), he runs towards the engine and circles it, getting a puzzled expression on his face as he looks at the worm…
Radu: Um, Catalina…which end of this thing is the head?
Catalina: I don't know. Why?
…Radu pulls a small canister from his pocket and grins…
Radu: Here's why.
Catalina: Parsley!
Radu: Yep.
…He looks intently at the worm, and then starts shaking parsley on first one end of it, then the other…
Radu: C'mon, worm…c'mon…
…The worm doesn't seem to have even noticed. Radu shakes some more parsley onto it, but nothing happens…
Radu: Uh oh.
Catalina: Maybe dried doesn't work as well as fresh?
…Radu desperately keeps shaking parsley onto the worm. All of a sudden, one end of the worm lifts up and makes a sniffing sound. Then the huge thing slowly uncoils itself and starts slithering towards Radu…
Radu: Yes. Yes.
Catalina: It's working!
…Radu is slowly backing away from the engine, and the worm is slowly following the parsley can…
Radu: (over his shoulder) Cat! Set the hallway jumptube for the cargo bay!
Catalina: Sure thing.
…Catalina hops off the console and runs out the door. Setting the nearest jumptube for the cargo bay, she backs away and waits. Radu is slowly leading the worm out. Closer -- closer -- closer -- The worm is halfway out the door. Closer -- Radu backs up to the jumptube and grabs the bar above it. Inching up the wall a little, he continues to sprinkle parsley in front of the worm. The worm pauses a bit when it bumps into the wall, but determinedly follows the parsley can upward. As Radu shakes the can into the jumptube, the worm, after hesitating a little, sticks its snout into the entrance and starts moving inward. Radu, with a final shake of the can, grabs the worm's midsection and flings the whole thing down the jumptube. He smiles at Cat…
Radu: So much for that worm!
Catalina: Wonderful! You know, Radu, you're OK.
Radu: Thanks. Now let's go get the ship out of here!
…They rush to the CommPost, and take their stations…
Catalina: Commander! The engine is back on-line!
Comdr. Goddard: Just in time. Rosie, go get the vacuum system ready for activation. After we empty the spaghetti from the cargo bay, we'll need to use it to get the rest of the ship cleared out.
…Rosie runs off…
Comdr. Goddard: Harlan! We have to lift off enough to be able to drain out the cargo bay.
Harlan: I'm on it, Commander.
…Once more, Harlan attempts to start the Christa moving. He adjusts the controls, and slowly pulls them back. The ship rises at a rate of 4 inches up, 3 inches back down…
Harlan: The ship's too heavy!
Comdr. Goddard: That's why we need to get it up. Keep trying!
…The Christa is wobbling fiercely, but is slowly getting higher above the spaghetti. After a few agonizing seconds, Radu nods to Harlan…
Radu: We're high enough! Open the cargo bay!
Harlan: THELMA! Open up the cargo bay!
…THELMA turns and fiddles with the crystals on the helm. Then she gives them a quick karate chop. The ship lurches as approximately 4500 pounds of spaghetti exit the cargo bay…
THELMA: The cargo bay has been cleared.
Comdr. Goddard: Good. THELMA, seal off the doors of the Command Post and the engine room.
THELMA: All right. It has been accomplished.
Comdr. Goddard: (over the intercom) Attention, Rosie! Start the vacuum!
…Rosie quickly presses a few crystals. The vacuum system roars to life, and everything on the Christa that isn't welded down or sealed off heads for the vacuum ports. Rosie, in a brief moment of worry, hopes that none of her stuffed animals are small enough to fit through the grates…
Comdr. Goddard: Catalina! How's it coming?
Catalina: It's making pretty good progress.
…They wait a few moments…
Comdr. Goddard: Now how far along is it?
Catalina: The strain on the system is increasing, Commander. I'd say that everything that can be vacuumed has been.
Comdr. Goddard: (again over the intercom) Attention, Rosie! You may turn off the vacuum. And then come back to the Command Post.
…In the engine room, Rosie shuts down the system…
Comdr. Goddard: THELMA, please close the cargo bay doors, and release the seals in the Command Post and engine room.
THELMA: Done, sir.
Comdr. Goddard: Good. Harlan, get us out of here!
…As Rosie comes back in, Harlan, for the third time, swings back the controls. This time, the Christa smoothly moves skyward…
Rosie: Yay!
Harlan: All right!!
Ms. Davenport: Finally.
Comdr. Goddard: Radu, set our course back to the one we had been following.
Radu: Course set in.
…The Christa angles sharply, and heads off into space. In the Command Post, everybody takes a look around. The floor is covered with spaghetti sauce, the viewscreen is a mess, and the consoles are festooned with noodles…
Comdr. Goddard: And now, people, we have a LOT of work to do.
…The 'Cases sigh and slowly file out the door of the CommPost…
End Part 6
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