The Day That Moiraine Died

 (Original: American Pie)

A note on pronunciations: It’s obvious that everybody has different ways of pronouncing the names of characters and places in the books. Thus, I gotta point out how the names were meant to be pronounced in this song, in order for you to better understand how it fits. I know I’m probably off on some of them (in regards to their "official' pronunciations), and that others will be pretty obvious, but here’s a quick reference guide nonetheless:

Moiraine = More-rain
Sedai = Sed-die
WoT = rhymes with ‘got’
Cairhien = Care-hine
Aiel = Ale
Emond’s Field = Ee-monds Feeled (Duh...:))

I also took the liberty of assigning generalized Warder-like terms to describe Lan in times when the word “Warder” wouldn’t fit - just simple terms such as “Guide” and “Soldier”. 

One final note: In the line that reads, “Her hands had wrote what she had seen”...I know it’s bad grammar, so just ignore it, alright? 

--------------------

A long, long time ago...
There were no beginnings but
That intro used to make me smile
And I knew if she had her chance
Moiraine could make those puppets dance
And maybe they’d be passive for a while
But Chapter Seven made me shiver,
How’d she know about Two Rivers...?
How’d she get the lowdown?
It’s her first trip to this town...
I can’t remember if I cried
When I read about her saddened Guide
But something touched me deep inside
The day that Moiraine died
So...

Bye, bye, Mistress Moiraine Sedai
Took a trolley to the Jolly Hunting Grounds in the sky
She hurled herself through the Doorway and I
Was singin’ “This’ll be the day that Lan cries,
This’ll be the day that Lan cries.”

Why’d he write the book of WoT?
Why did Jordan introduce the plot
If survival was his goal?
How do you except to persevere
When abusive phone calls flood your ear
From folks who want to know who killed Asmo?
Well I know you’re waiting for book nine
You daydream ‘bout it all the time
You’re wagering your bets
Wanna know which girl Rand gets!
Then there’s that jihad, diehard Moiraine buff
With his inclinations and his dogma stuff
Guess he’s finally had enough
He knows that Moiraine died
He started singing...

Bye, bye, Mistress Moiraine Sedai
Took a trolley to the Jolly Hunting Grounds in the sky
She hurled herself through the Doorway and I
Was singin’ “This’ll be the day that Lan cries,
This’ll be the day that Lan cries.”

Now pretend Lan is not on his own
Imagine that he’s still dull as a stone
Not razed emo-tion-al-ly
When that Sister came in a velvet sheen
Looking for some kids around nineteen
Couple boys who came from Emond’s Field
Oh, and while that Sister snooped around
The darkfriend peddler led to town
Some monsters bred to fight
NO Trollocs are polite
But that Moiraine helped escape and then
They all had dreams about strange men
And we knew all was hopeless when
We heard that Moiraine died
We were singing...

Bye, bye, Mistress Moiraine Sedai
Took a trolley to the Jolly Hunting Grounds in the sky
She hurled herself through the Doorway and I
Was singin’ “This’ll be the day that Lan cries,
This’ll be the day that Lan cries.”

Helter-skelter in a summer swelter
The Aiel waste acts like an ol’ zinc smelter
Scorching hot and rising faaaaaast....
They loaded up where there’s no grass
Drove the caravan through the pass
And then they came to Cairhien at long last
A few rotations on the clocks
Led to chaos at the docks
We all got up to scream
Oh, the Aiel say life’s a dream
‘Cause you’re living and then you’re gone
The Wheel just keeps a-weavin’ on
The moon was out as the sun still shone
The day that Moiraine died
We started singing....

Bye, bye, Mistress Moiraine Sedai
Took a trolley to the Jolly Hunting Grounds in the sky
She hurled herself through the Doorway and I
Was singin’ “This’ll be the day that Lan cries,
This’ll be the day that Lan cries.”

And there they stood upon the sod
Disciples left without their god
With no faith left to say their prayers
So come on, Rand be macho, Rand be bold
Let us see what those letters hold
Inspired by a dream out in the Waste
Her hands had wrote what she had seen
Told what happened in that scene
So break apart those seals
And see what it reveals
And as her Soldier rode into the night
To elude tragedy by flight
Rand saw what befell just might
Be yet that Moiraine died
He was singing...

Bye, bye, Mistress Moiraine Sedai
Took a trolley to the Jolly Hunting Grounds in the sky
She hurled herself through the Doorway and I
Was singin’ “This’ll be the day that Lan cries,
This’ll be the day that Lan cries.”

I met a guy who’s feelings stand
That our Moiraine’s stuck within finn-land
But I just smiled and turned away
I went back in to Chapter Four
Where I’d met the Sister years before
But the words foreshadowed sorrow and decay
And in my head the voices screamed
I couldn’t cast out what I’d dreamed
But prophecies were spoken
The Pattern can’t be broken
And the Sister I admire most
Met up with Lanfear and now she’s toast
Creative Ways To Make A Ghost
And that’s how Moiraine died
And we were singing...

Bye, bye, Mistress Moiraine Sedai
Took a trolley to the Jolly Hunting Grounds in the sky
She hurled herself through the Doorway and I
Was singin’ “This’ll be the day that Lan cries,
This’ll be the day that Lan cries.”

(Everybody!)

So bye, bye, Mistress Moiraine Sedai
Took a trolley to the Jolly Hunting Grounds in the sky
She hurled herself through the Doorway and I
Was singing “This’ll be the day that Lan cries..”
 

Raina's Hold / Raina's Library / Other People's Humour / Pablo's Parodies
 

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