I drown tonight. Tonight I drown. 
My face the inverse smile, my life upside down. 
I beckon for the sciences to hear me. 
Chemistry, 
Alchemy, 
Biology, 
Psychology
--where are you now? 

NOW, when my eyes blend the blurs, that used to be your words, that held so much meaning when I could comprehend.

I follow your movements this time, 
I track, I follow, but never lead. 
This is nothing but a thirst
...no a hunger that  I must feed.
And I drown in my sleep, my thoughts jousted in skull,
emotions still stirring and I try to grasp again,
my lungs are full. 
I feel the way I deserve, 
but I feel what you might call a falacy.
But I am tempted to turn the tides, to change again to anarchy.
If I lack order in this silence, will you scream to make things whole again?
Will you take away shame to forgive my sin? And I plead and cannot believe, no I cannot...

-08.19.03