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TITLE: 157 Words
OR Why Mulder & Scully Should Just Be Friends
AUTHOR: Ropobop. Bring on the
feedback!
E-MAIL: Ropobop@aol.com
SPOILERS: Nope.
CLASSIFICATION: Badfic, MSR Parody,
hopefully Humor
RATING: NC-17-ish - Kiddies go
home!
SUMMARY: Chris Carter knows what
he's doing, folks. UST rules.
DISCLAIMER: "The
X-Files," Mulder, & Scully belong to Chris
Carter,
1013 Productions, and Fox. Incompatible sex is all
mine.157 Words OR Why Mulder &
Scully Should Just
Be Friends
by Ropobop
Scully's eyes were plain blue, like countless other
girls' eyes.
Mulder's lips were chapped.
Her hair was red, but it was brittle from all the
dyeing.
He thought it would be all silky in his hands, but it
wasn't.
And it smelled like Head & Shoulders.
He tasted like halitosis, not sunflower
seeds.
She was cold, loose, and dry; her vagina smelled like
fish.
His penis was small, pencil-thin, and soft.
Scully was too short. There was no way they could screw
and kiss at the same time.
She could kiss Mulder's chin and he could kiss her
nose. How utterly unromantic.
Mulder didn't know what the hell he was doing, despite
watching all that porn.
He couldn't find her clitoris if he'd had a map.
And how could a G-Man not find
the G-Spot, Scully wondered idly as he bored her to death
with his annoying rubbing.
They'd never do THIS again, that was for sure.
** The End. Mercifully. **
********************************************
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