Secrets of the Soul
Reviewed by Lady Keela Shanri
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Well, this is going to be a short review. Partially because this was a relatively simple episode in which not much--or at least, not much of any WORTH--happened, and partially because while I usually watch each episode at least twice before reviewing it, so that I can get all the details and sequence correct, this time I can't because there was a scene towards the end that almost made me PHYSICALLY ILL. I'll explain that in a moment, first, let's sum up the plot. The two main storylines involved a stand-alone one about Franklin and some aliens, and the second one involved the telepaths, A-gain (groan). Let's start with the Franklin one.
Basically what happened here was that Franklin is trying to do his new job with investigating diseases crossing between species and after a whole lot of threats, begging, etc, he finally gets the Hyach--that's that race with the weird large bony skulls that we're always seeing in the Council Chambers but whose name I didn't know until now--Ambassador to turn over some records. But the history of their evolution and such is incomplete; it goes back only for the past 800 years. They refuse to give him any more information, saying that these are all the files they were given. When Franklin comes at it from a different angle, looking for stuff about OTHER races that have had contact with the Hyach, he discovers that they used to have another intelligent race on their planet--parallell evolution--and they quite deliberately wiped them all out. But now they're finding out that they NEED some of the other genetic material they were getting by intermarrying with the Hyach-Do before it became illegal, and now their population is rapidly falling as a result because of it. They are deeply shamed by this and that's why they wanted to keep it a secret. A very simple plotline, with horrendous acting from the Hyach attaché, Kirrin, but a couple of notes: One--even though both individuals, Tal and Kirrin, were referred to as "he", they were both quite obviously played by WOMEN, to judge from the voices. A nice alien touch. Secondly, if killing off the Hyach-Do doomed the Hyach, does this mean that the CENTAURI are doomed for killing of the Xon?!! Oh, boy...
Meanwhile, the other plot, which has almost nothing to do with this except that Franklin appears in it briefly, is about the telepaths. We meet our first STABLE teak, (telekinetic) which was INTERESTING--I always thought that was impossible. (Well, okay, the guy seemed to be retarded, had a speech impediment, and was emotionally fragile, but he was stable ENOUGH.) and we find out that even though Byron may be this California hippie flower-waving peace and love kinda mellow dude, his followers are NOT. While he is willing to get punched in the face to make a point, his followers make this guy who hurt the teek dude feel like he's BURNING, in his mind. NASTY. Don't mess with telepaths!
But the thing that bothered me about all this was Lyta. Or actually, Lyta and Byron. As in "Lyta and Byron, sitting in a tree..." BLECK. Sure, I KNEW that this was going to happen ahead of time due to spoilers that idiots who don't even consider the fact that maybe not everyone you're talking to has seen all the episodes yet are always dumping on me, but I never thought they'd do it like THIS! Um...."do it" was a poor choice of words, scratch that. Well, first of all she accuses Zack of being jealous--and he DESERVES her more than Byron, for pete's sake! Then she makes drippy speeches about how "if Byron asked her to go into Hell, I would do so, gladly, with a smile on my face." Then it gets even worse. Yes, I knew they were going to have an affair, unfortunately ("unfortunately" meaning both unfortunate that it happened, and unfortunate that I knew about it ahead of time) but I thought it would just be the typical B5 level of raunch--alien "appendages", so therefore it doesn't count 'cos it doesn't LOOK like the Human version, Vir going on about "six", Adira singing in bed next to Londo, Delenn bowing and smiling before she closes the glass doors and the scene changes, "You're about to go where EVERY man has gone before!", "BOOM-shubba-lubba-lubba" etc. You know, where they just give you the IDEA of what happened without actually showing it. I NEVER expected Lyta to say "Five lifetimes ago you said I was your willow, that you could find rest under my boughs. Well, now rest in me, even if only for a little while." (I could do without the "IN" me there, thank you VERY much) and then STRIP OFF HER CLOTHES! Sweating and grunting obviously-naked-but-thank-the-gods-not-actually-showing-anything bodies going up and down (ew!) was NOT what I expected to see on an ordinary station IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FRAGGING DAY! And especially with BYRON--I never liked him in the first place, I CERTAINLY didn't want to SEE him...erm..."mating"! BLECK. BARF!! GAG ME WITH A WOODEN SPOON!! GROSS ME OUT THE AIRLOCK!! As Lochley said, that is an image I did NOT need. GROSS!! EEeeeewwww!! I'm still shuddering over that one.
Okay, okay, we get to see some of Lyta's "secrets of the soul"--we see how the Vorlons were GROWING people, in tanks, like a lab experiment, from all different races, it shows how they were creating telepaths. It tells us a little bit about what it was like for Lyta getting "altered" by the Vorlons. And it makes the pacifistic Byron get off his butt and get MAD, deciding to take VIOLENT action against the Mundanes once and for all. Why? Because the Vorlons aren't around anymore and they need SOMEONE to vent their anger on...so why not? (Huh? Yeah, that was my reaction, too.)
But overall, the end of the episode was a GROSS scene that left me throwing up all over the place. You got any sick bags back there? BLECK!
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