Strange Relations
Reviewed by Veronica Grey, Psi Corps
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Well, this is more like it! With this quite good episode, Babylon 5 jumps headfirst back into something starting to resemble an "arc", Bester reappears, Byron gets his butt kicked, and I find out that I LIKE Lochley. I don't mean just saying that I do to tick off all the other B5 fans like I was earlier, I mean REALLY like her. What else could you ask for? Well, the storyline with Lyta was depressing...but I'll get there later. For now, let's start with the beginning. This was a complex episode with many interweaving plots so I probably won't be able to keep it all straight, bear with me.
We start off with Lyta stealing medical supplies that were going to be used on the Lurkers anyway for the renegade telepaths so they can be self-sufficient (?) Franklin eventually lets her do it. Then we cut to an idiot ship pilot who won't listen to Corwin's instructions from C&C and crashes his ship into the opening bay doors. MORON. I suppose we were supposed to feel that was tragic but I felt it was a neccesary cleaning-out of the gene pool myself...Lochley then tries to get the cleanup crew to move fast, but they insist that it will take 13 hours--UNTIL she threatens to blackmail one of them by telling people about an "extremely non-regulation" picture he has in his locker, from a bachelor party...the one where "--we'll do it in eleven! Promise!" Heh heh heh. It was at this point, when she started being just as smart-mouthed, evil, conniving, and wickedly funny as the rest of the B5 crew that I realised that I LIKED this woman, and that she was going to fit in just fine. Say all you like about her "replacing" Ivanova (and she really DIDN'T, she's got SHERIDAN'S old rank, Ivanova was never the CAPTAIN of the station!), Lochley IS a good character in her own right. A couple more notes on this scene--we get another WONDERFUL bit of first-season continuity as Corwin mentions Ms. Connally--you remember her, from "By Any Means Necessary"?--who is evidently still the dock-workers' guild's negotiator, and secondly, we see that Lochley has a phoenix on her Starfury helmet. Hmmmn...there's an episode coming up called "Phoenix Rising"--anything to do with her...?
Anyway, moving right along, we have Londo looking out the window at a Centauri liner and feeling very depressed. Zack walks up and asks him why and Londo tells him that things are about to start going "badly" for him. (Like they weren't BEFORE? How's having your lady-love poisoned, killing off a former friend for the wrong reason, and having to blow up an entire chunk of your own homeworld that you love dearly for starters?) He tells Zack that since the Regent is so ill (sniff! GO BACK TO CENTAURI PRIME AND SHOW THIS PLOTLINE AGAIN ALREADY!! IT'S BEEN ALMOST AN ENTIRE FRAGGING YEAR! Okay, okay, I know they'll show it next week, but STILL...) he's been called back to Centauri Prime stay by his side for the next few months. After that, he'll become Emperor, and believe it or not, he'll actually miss Babylon 5. "Yeah, but that's got to be a great feeling," says Zack, who does not know about the whole depressing-death-dream thing. "Emperor Mollari the First!" "The second." says Londo. "There was another one?" Zack asks, incredulous. "Yes, and he ended badly, too. No, Mr. Allen, I am not happy. I fear that this is where it starts to go bad for all of us..."
Since Centauri are all at least a little bit borderline psychic, maybe you should LISTEN to him...
Then somewhere in here Delenn confronts Lochley as she's going into the elevator and tells her she now knows why Sheridan picked her for the job, and even though it bothered her at first, she has now accepted it because she realises that Lochley is indeed the "locial" choice. (Since when did Delenn become a Vulcan? Oh, wait, never mind, she always was, kinda...) Lochley says she is so relieved that Delenn doesn't want to kick her butt just yet but to please keep this between the two--erm...three, of them. But Mr. Garibaldi is listening around a corner...
Meanwhile, Lyta goes to deliver the medicine to the telepaths and Byron rushes forward to grab the sack, gladly, but when she insists that he take some vitamins because he's been pushing himself too hard (and just HOW would she know that, hmmm? Just HOW much time has our red-haired pixie teep been spending with this mystical gleepazoid blonde romance-novel-cover wannabe?) he refuses, when she tells him to get some sleep he goes into this INCREDIBLY boring and drippy parable about willows that almost made me barf all over the floor. The only thing that saved this scene was Lyta's wide-eyed, softly sarcastic line afterwards, "That has got to be the most elegant attempt to change the topic I have EVER heard!" You said it. And if Byron wants to be a martyr--that involves being DEAD, right? So will somebody please shoot him already? It would give BOTH of us what we want and put him out of MY misery (to use an excellent Londo line)...
Bester has come back onto the station and he is having tea with Lochley in her quarters and telling her a rather lame philosophy joke when Garibaldi finds out that Bester is there from an IDIOT Security guy who tells him that he's not supposed to tell him, BUT...and rushes in. He keeps attempting to get to Bester to pound him to a bloody pulp, Lochley takes offense at the idea of someone roughing up her guest in her own quarters in the middle of tea-time, he keeps struggling to get past her, and instead of yelling at him, Lochley goes WHACK and PUNCHES HIM! Now, I know Garibaldi is on our side, and I know I'm not supposed to like Lochley, but I was IMPRESSED by this! Heck, Garibaldi is a huge, strong, guy, he could wipe the floor with him, and yet this skinny little woman has the guts--or the stupidity--to beat him up! Hee hee you go girl! Then Security comes to drag Garibaldi away and she says something to him about being "5 seconds away from a Court Martial." Oh, dear...(You know what? If they hated each other any more, they'd HAVE to get MARRIED! Yes, that's a very Centauri sentiment, what of it? Heck, she'd be a better match for Garibaldi than LISE, that's for sure! But knowing what I think of Lise, that's damning with faint praise...)
Some other stuff happens, but I can't remember the exact order--Delenn goes to ask Franklin if he'd be willing to travel around more, out of Medlab, so he can study the effects of interspecies contamination of diseases now that the Alliance will be allowing more people to travel between worlds and he says "Yes!" all excited and flattered. G'Kar then says that he wants to do more for the Alliance than he already is and Delenn gives him one of her Patented Evil Mischievious Grins™ and tells him to be careful what he wishes for...
Lyta is with the telepaths again/still, and they all suddenly prick up their mental "ears" as Psi Corps boots go stomping by. Lyta "pulls down the walls the Mundanes force us to live behind" and listens too--they're bloodhound units. On the hunt for the renegade teeps. Oh boy, this should be GOOD...
Meanwhile, Lochley explains to Sheridan why Garibaldi is in the brig--although she was forced to let the telepaths stay on B5 (yeah, I thought that "Well, I don't know if this is a political issue or a station issue so I'll just arbitrarily DECIDE that it's political and let you stay here" WAS a bit dodgy logic, myself) she never agreed to protect them from persecution, and since they have indeed broken Psi Corps laws the Corps has a perfect right to track them down. Sheridan points out that Bester has mistreated and betrayed all of them before, and especially messed with Garibaldi's mind and almost got them both killed, so Garibaldi had a right to try to pound him six ways from Sunday. Lochley says that as far as she knows, Bester has always treated HER fairly, and if she were to treat people based on their past records she would have shot Sheridan on sight. So she only treats them based on how they've treated HER, not other people before she's even met them. This was a great scene--good acting from both, you could feel the tension in the air--and you could also see BOTH points. Or at least I could, anyway. Then she leaves to go see Mr. Garibaldi in the brig and try to explain things to him.
Bester and his bloodhounds run into Lyta, who is blocking them from being able to scan for the renegades, covering an entire large area. He tries to get past her anyway, but she MENTALLY slaps both of the bloodhounds with telekinesis! Bester notices how flushed and sweaty she's getting and tries to psyche her out by going on about how much longer can she do that, gee, you must be getting TIRED, you can't block them forever, and if you tell them to split up, it'll just make things EASIER for his group because then she can't shield the renegades. Then he leaves for a bit and Lyta goes "Phew" and Byron appears out of nowhere and KISSES her in "thanks" for helping them. GACK. Thanks but no thanks. GO BACK TO ZACK, YOU MORON!! HE'S MUCH NICER THAN THIS NEW-AGE SHAMPOO-COMMERCIAL WANNABE GURU! Just great, now I have someone ELSE besides Londo to watch helplessly as they fall into The Pit...
Back to Lochley and Garibaldi, she finds out at some point from Zack that Garibaldi had been looking at her personal files so she goes to confront him about it (Garibaldi, not Zack). She wants to know why he did it. First they talk about why she's being nice to Bester, though. Turns out he saved two of her people from some renegade teeps and she's grateful to him; he's only treated HER nice. Wait, maybe that should have been earlier, in the Sheridan conversation. Ah, hell with it, I'm too lazy to delete it and re-write it, it stays here. Anyway, she wants to know why Garibaldi was spying on her. "Because I don't know you, therefore I don't trust you." "The world is full of people you don't know." "And believe me, that bothers me all the time." "Tough. Get over it. What else?" (Again, I was thinking, I LIKE this woman!) Garibaldi wanted to know why he chose HER for this job. The REAL reason. (The one that so freaked out Delenn in the last episode.) Did Garibaldi think she had some hold over Sheridan, knew some nasty political secret, that she was going to blackmail him or something if he didn't hire her? Yes, that is of course what he thought, hey, we're talking about GARIBALDI here! She promises to tell him but ONLY if it does NOT leave this room:
She used to be MARRIED to Sheridan!!! Really! That's what all this was about! Now suddenly Delenn's lying on the opposite side of the bed and snapping at her husband makes sense, eh? "You mean to tell me that you deliberately hired your own EX-WIFE?!!" (I can just see the crockery flying through the air towards Sheridan's head in the missing scene where he told her that...) According to Lochley, they met shortly after Earthforce academy, "fell crazy in love, got married, then fell crazy OUT of love after a few months." Basically, they were BOTH such bossy dominant-personality types that they both always had to be in charge and therefore drove each other nuts, they had arguments that "stripped the paint off the walls". But that's why Sheridan hired her--because even though they disagreed, he knew her well enough during their brief marriage to know that she was an honest and decent person whom he could count on. Garibaldi thinks this is HILARIOUSLY funny and starts cracking up, then asks to be set free. Sorry, not until Bester is gone...
Meanwhile, back to the teeps, most of them have been captured and Byron feels bad for holding out hope to them, so he goes and deliberately sacrifices himself by standing quietly in a hallway and letting the two main bloodhounds just RUSH him. This is where I alMOST, but not quite, felt a little bit sorry for Byron. I mean, for pete's sake, he was just STANDING there, offering no resistance at all, they didn't have to beat him up! But then again, he seemed to be asking for it...
Somewhere in here, the Centauri liner, which Londo is NOT getting on, blows up the instant they program a course back to Centauri Prime! Corwin goes to tell Lochley about it. "Any V.I.P.'s due to depart?" "Only Londo." "I was afraid of that. Well, I'll go talk to him, try to narrow down the suspects to only a few THOUSAND of the enemies he's made over the years..." (This girl is on a ROLL tonight!)
Lochley then calls a meeting of the officers to discuss I"m assuming the bombing and also asks if Bester's people are doing anything wrong, ANYTHING at all that she can use as an excuse to kick them off, 'cos she kinda feels sorry for the renegades, too. "No, Ma'am." says Zack. "They've been keeping their noses so clean you could eat off 'em." "Well, that's not an image I wanted this early in the morning, THANK you..." (another great line) Then they all clear out and she detains Franklin to ask him about his new project. He explains that it's about cross-contamination between alien species and she suddenly gets all excited and orders him to put it in writing. Hmmn. Looks like the ol' Captain has a trick up her sleeve. But what, exactly...?
Delenn comes in and tells G'Kar that she since Londo's life is obviously in danger (and when is it not? "Making enemies is what he does best!" quips G'Kar) then he should have a bodyguard back on Centauri Prime. "Well, that person would have to be someone very trustworthy," says G'Kar, "he would have to be someone very loyal, someone...strong enough...." understanding slowly dawns, "OOOOHH, no..." Delenn gives him her Patented Evil Mischievious Grin™ again and says, Yep, that is indeed what she had in mind for how he could serve the Alliance more. He cracks up over the idea of a NARN in the CENTAURI ROYAL COURT, and goes out the door laughing so hard that he can hardly get out the words to THANK her for giving him such a hard job! (?) Ah, that G'Kar is turning into a real nutcase, but he's fun now, eh?
We then cut to Bester and the Psi Cops, who have rounded up all the renegades and are about to leave when they are stopped by Captain Lochley, who has the report from Franklin telling of the dangers of interspecies contamination in her hand. She says that because the renegades have been travelling everywhere, there's a real danger of contamination and they should be quarantined for 60 days. Bester is NOT happy about this. He keeps stroking Byron's hair (?), which made me as WELL as Byron himself shudder and go "Yick, what a weirdo!" and says that he wants to know that Lochley will keep her promise, that they will indeed still be here for him to take in 60 days, ESPECIALLY this one (stroke). "You won't betray me, would you, Captain? Yes, he knows all about betrayal, this one," (stroke) "don't you, Byron?" WHOAH, now THAT'S interesting! It seems they have an actual history together! I get the feeling, since Byron is obviously quite powerful, that maybe he used to be an actual Psi Cop before he went renegade, and was Bester's partner and perhaps even friend--then betrayed him and ran out on the Corps somehow. (Or, considering the hair-stroking, maybe both characters are bi and they used to be lovers! But I won't even GO there...) Whatever it is, this has potential to give Byron some actual depth to his character, and knowing more about the mysterious Mr. Bester is always good. As they sang in the movie "Grease"--"Tell me more, tell me more!" Anyway, Lochley waits until Bester is gone and then TELLS Zack to lock them up and then "look the other way for about 10 minutes" so that the telepaths can be free for the 60 days. He congratulates her on a clevr solution to the problem (and it WAS clever! Like I said, she'll fit in here just fine. "If you can't join 'em, beat 'em!" Heh heh heh) but she says she only solved the immediate problem--in 60 days all Hell is going to break loose again.
Just a couple more scenes and then the episode's over. As Londo and G'Kar are arguing about who gets the aisle seat on the trip to Centauri Prime, an alliance of a darker sort is being made. The telepaths are all singing hymns of gratitude at still being free when Lyta comes by and sees them. She thinks the singing is beautiful (it was okay; I think they should get together with those weird chanting monks, you know, "beauty in the dark", and cut a demo tape or something) and Byron beckons her in with his eyes. (Note: He has a decent singing voice even if it is a bit high-pitched) and she comes in. And...TAKES OFF HER BLACK LEATHER GLOVES AND PSI CORPS PIN!!
WHOAH boy.
And on that arc-shaking note, the episode and I leave you. Valtoo!
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