And All My Dreams, Torn Asunder

Reviewed by Emperor Cartagia

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While this was a very dramatic and impressive-looking episode that moved the arc along heavily, I hesitate to call it good, or even decent.
Why? No, not just because the Centauri are on the brink of being wiped out (SNIFF!). No, because of BAD WRITING. The "good guy" characters (can't you just see the sarcasm dripping from my keyboard?), especially Sheridan and Delenn, were acting like total BUTTHEADS! And Dr. Franklin went on and on and ON with his technobabble explanation about how he figured out, through chemical analysis of the trans-warp manifold on the hyperspace bypass inducer in the flux capacitor of the tachyon relay inverter on the ships that fired at the Brakiri in Lennier's videotape, that it was definitely Centauri-made weapons that were firing, not some kind of illusion. Okay, okay, fine, they are Centauri ships and I presume they would be using their own weapons, right? But all that technobabble, wasting time and boring me to tears, was still overlooking the important question--WHO was IN those Centauri ships? And if it WAS Centauri, was there perhaps an outside force causing them to do these things in fear, or perhaps not giving them any choice at all?
No, they totally did NOT even THINK about that. IDIOTS!! COMPLETE, TOTAL, IDIOTS!!
You know what I think? I think (a) that on the story side of things, the other Alliance Ambassadors are willing to believe that it's the Centauri behind the attacks because they WANT to find them guilty for something. The Centauri are known for beating up other planets (although let me point out they are NOT the only ones!) and besides, they are pompous and arrogant and need to be taken down a peg, or so they think. (Personally, I think they're jealous--of their ability to party, their gorgeous clothes, their huge, magnificent buildings, their huge, magnificent hair and their huge....but that is no concern of yours...) As I said to my mother during a commercial, if it was someone ELSE being implicated by these tapes, say, the Minbari, they would investigate it FURTHER. You CANNOT put an entire planet under siege and doom everybody there to STARVE to death on the "evidence" of ONE DAMN RECORDING! No, if it was, for example, the Minbari, who are known to be more "gentle" and "honourable" (Shakiri telling Neroon to kill Delenn when she tries to surrender, and the words, "HUNT THEM DOWN! KILL THEM!! KILL ALL OF THEM UNTIL THERE ARE NONE LEFT!! ANIMALS!!" comes to mind here...), they would have waited until a lot more evidence came in. But to me, it seems like the others are just eager to POUNCE on the TINIEST excuse to beat up the Centauri--even those who profess to be Londo's friend. So in my opinion, the STORY reason is simple: predjudice. Heck, a line from Vir in the actual episode backs me up on this!
Now for the real-life reason: BAD WRITING! Straczynski had built up this "evil" but oh so wonderfully fun race over the years, and had gradually been trying to get us to see the idea that eventually they will have to "pay" for all the things they've done. Why? Because they're known for beating up other planets, and besides, they're arrogant and pompous and deserve to be taken down a peg, or so he thinks. But the way he's doing it is STUPID! It's like they're being punished just because HE wants them to be punished! In the story, it makes NO sense. The thing is, he fooled around with other irrelevant plotlines (like the telepath thing--okay, okay, it changes Lyta and leads into the teep war, but frankly, I'd be happy WITHOUT the teep war story and if Lyta stayed a good guy, and estatic if Byron had never been BORN!) for so long that now he has to RUSH the Centauri arc along! It's like he said, "WHOAH, it's the seventh episode from the end of the entire series and the Centauri still haven't paid for their crimes yet, better do that now! Let's see, where can I pencil that in...?" And so, just to make things happen FAST--unnaturally fast!--the buttheads on the Council first decide NOT to tell Londo when he'd be able to figure it out and HELP them if they did, then call a secret Council meeting, and while Londo, an actual Ambassador who BELONGS to the council is held outside in the hallway by ARMED GUARDS (a TRULY ridiculous touch, I thought!) they all but declare war on his entire race, without his being able to say a WORD in their defense! Haven't they ever heard of "due process of law"? Haven't they ever heard of something called "innocent until proven guilty"? (and like I said, those videotapes are NO proof!) Doesn't this go against ALL of Sheridan's "liberal morals"? ARGH!
I would normally be all sad about this, and say how depressing it is, but the bad writing makes me MAD instead. Oh, and it gets better. Get this: After all the chaos in the Council Chambers, Delenn goes to G'Kar and confesses about how, privately, she never thought Londo could do this kind of thing.
So why the FRAG didn't she confront Londo about this IN PERSON, to his FACE, instead of just secretly feeling it inside?
Oh, wait, it gets even better than THAT. G'Kar, who, for the most part behaves honourably in this episode and appears to be Londo's only friend (other than Vir), says that HE KNEW that while Londo knew about the shipping information being classified and all that while he was on Centauri Prime, he did not know the CAUSE of it. SO WHY DIDN'T HE TELL THE COUNCIL THAT?! While he was at it, it would have been NICE if he had mentioned little things like, oh, I don't know, weird aliens with glowing eyes standing in the shadows of the Royal Palace?! Okay, there is one redeeming factor, that G'Kar, of all people, Londo's former arch-enemy, is the only person who WON'T testify against him, BUT...
This is SO STUPID! BRING ME THE HEAD OF J. MICHAEL STRACZYNSKI!! And put it on my...special desk...
Am I done ranting yet? Maybe for the moment. ARGH!
Anyway, the plot--after being wrongfully accused and smashed around with no chance to speak up for himself, Londo comes into the Council Chambers and makes an angry speech while tearing up the "evidence" and flinging it around the room (good for him.)
Later on, a lot of stuff happens--he comes back into the Council Chambers and tells them all that the Centauri government has decided to put warships with all their cargo vessels to get them past the blockade, and if anyone fires on them it will be an act of war. Meanwhile, in an attempt to keep the situation from getting any worse, Sheridan has a temper tantrum (no, really) and then decides to put White Stars out there to enforce the blockade, thinking that the Centauri won't be stupid enough to fire on ships as dangerous as White Stars.
That SNOOTY Minister calls Londo and basically tells him that they have just declared War on the Alliance--just GREAT.
For some reason, Garibaldi either knows something or can do something that has to do with the Rangers that can keep the fighting from breaking out, but because he is drunk off his butt and asleep when the Ranger calls, the Centauri fleet and the Drazi fleet lay right into each other. (I must admit, the scene with Zack and Garibaldi where Zack confronts him about his drinking problem WAS well-written and touching--but it was about the only one!) Oh, and incidentally, it was the DRAZI who fired the first shot, but Garibaldi, not wanting to admit that he was DRUNK and unconscious when it happens, just takes a random GUESS and tells the others that the Centauri fired the first shot! What a JERK! Because he won't admit he's got an addiction, the Alliance gets pushed the last little step into declaring war on an entire race!
That's it. I have just decided that I do NOT like Garibaldi. Not when he's drunk anyway. He may be a great character at other times but when he STARTS A WAR just to save his own soggy, drunken butt...
Londo figures that he can't fix things from far away, he has to get back home, so he leaves, with G'Kar his loyal but rather absent-minded "thing" bodyguard by his side. (And if you ask me, and you didn't but I don't care, that whole "Never come back here again!" thing from Sheridan and Delenn was a BIT much! These people are FRIENDS, for the Great Maker's sake! Or at least I thought they were...)
Vir is left behind to be the Centauri Ambassador and tries desperately to get some information out of that SNOOTY Minister (you notice I don't like him much? Hmmn...wonder what kind of poison would be best to use...) and Franklin comes into Londo's quarters (where the Minister is supposed to call him back) to tell him that he is in danger. Then poor little Vir gets set upon by Brakiri thugs (it was their ships being blown up in Lennier's videotape, you may remember) but Franklin, who IS after all a rather buff dude underneath that uniform, lays them all down on the floor rather quickly. Sad to think of even VIR being in danger, just because he's a Centauri...
Meanwhile, back on Centauri Prime, Londo meets with that SNOOTY Minister to be told that the Centauri Republic and the Interstellar Alliance have just declared war on each other, that the orders came from the Regent himself (yeah, RIGHT, like that gentle little soul would hurt a FLY let alone a planet!) and that Londo absolutely cannot see him now, and oh, by the way, may I show you to your cell? No, seriously, what really happens is that Londo is woken up in the middle of the night to be told that what with the Narns supposedly being the ones responsible for the ruse, they cannot afford to trust ANY Narns now, so G'Kar will have to be put in "one of the nicer cells" until the crisis is over. This makes Londo very mad and he sticks up for his friend. "Where I go, he goes, and where he goes, I go! You wouldn't dare to throw your own Prime Minister in a dungeon!"
CLANK goes the cell door.
"Oh, shut up!" Londo snaps at G'Kar, who has not said anything.
(I wish to point something out here, even if it is off-topic--in my own fantasy story, I have a part where the villian (and I do NOT think Londo is a villian, by the way) is thrown into a dungeon during a crisis to punish him, but ironically that actually SAVES him because he is underground while the castle is burned to the ground by attacking dragons! Replace "dragons" with "White Stars"--and PLEASE don't tell me this actually is what happens! But if it is, I THOUGHT OF IT BEFORE I SAW IT! Granted, I have not actually WRITTEN that scene in my story yet, but I have all the notes for it that I wrote two days ago...)
And so, as they look up at the ceiling and wonder what is going on out there, over about 10 tons of solid rock and lots of air and stuff, the episode depressingly ends...
The end verdict? Many people would consider this a GOOD episode (just look at the rating it got on the Lurker's Guide--9.21 my ass!) but, for all its drama and big explosions and touching moments between friends...it was all happening for the WRONG REASONS! And not in the sense of irony, as when Londo killed Lord Refa in revenge for Adira's death when Refa wasn't the one who did it, to use just one example--no, not that kind of wrong reasons, but wrong in the sense of IT MADE NO SENSE whatsoever in the continuity of the story or the characters! It just happened because Straczynski WANTED it to happen, so it did. Regardless of story quality.
Isn't that stupid soldier done whacking off his head YET? Oh! You can't leave these things to others, they never get it right...

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