Falling Towards Apotheosis
Reviewed by Lady Keela Shanri
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This was, as is par for the course in the beginning of Season Four, another quite good episode. I had a couple of small quibbles with it but otherwise it was a quality effort.
There were two main plots--one involving the Vorlons in general and the New Kosh in particular, and then of course the REAL plotting and scheming back on Centauri Prime. The subplots dealt with Garibaldi's recuperation and John and Delenn's relationship.
Let's tackle the Vorlon plot first. Having Ivanova do those Babcom Alert message thingies WAS a clever way to do exposition--in other words, just get the information out to the audience by telling when you don't have enough time to SHOW it. And the shots of the planet killers--big enough to eclipse the local star (wow) were great. But where it all falls down is in the way Sheridan decides to deal with the New Kosh.
Now, sure, the guy IS evil, (New Kosh I mean) and he DOES have to be taken off the station as soon as possible or else he'll broadcast everything they're planning back to the Vorlon fleet and endanger billions of lives. Yeah, I got that part, I agree with that. But since his government had just started acting AGAINST them, surely they could have TRIED to get him off the station by diplomatic means first! I mean, technically, he would have no more RIGHT to be there; they could just kick him off. But instead, they have to send in six security guys with guns a-blazin' so we can see New Kosh do that nifty noise thing where he breaks the face-plates on their environmental masks. This was supposedly to get his guard down so that he would no longer think of the Humans as a threat. It worked, yes, but I still think they should have TRIED having Sheridan ask him nicely to leave first, diplomat to diplomat. That wouldn't have been as dramatic as having Zack "ask" him to leave while pointing a gun at him, no, but it would have been a tad more realistic. When he refuses--THEN move up to force. Oh, well.
Anyway, the battle scene afterwards was pretty cool and ALMOST made up for the horrendous acting of Patricia Tallman in the scene where she lures New Kosh out into the hallway--her face just SCREAMED "I'M LYING!! I'M LYING!!" Or maybe that was deliberate to reassure the audience that she was not really turning evil. But hey, it was only about a minute from that conversation to when we find out it was a trap for Kosh; have her say it in a REALISTIC-looking way and LET us think she's turning against the good guys! It would only have been for one second.
Anyway, they catch him in this electrical field and riot-suited Security guys blam away at him for quite some time before CRACK his encounter suit breaks open and--
--we get to really SEE a Vorlon for the first time!
What do they look like "out of their shell"? Well, kinda like a big floating gooey tentacled squid-like thing made out of light. Hard to describe. But anyway, New Kosh can't be doing his "angel" routine because there are too many people in the room that he'd have to fool at the same time, so he has no choice but to look like himself. The Security guys keep pounding away at the Vorlon, even though it swipes a couple of them with a tentacle ("Okay, any of you who think that was a Russian water-tentacle, raise your hands"--sorry, wrong movie.). During the battle scene, Delenn feels some strange need to wander onto the set and watch from behind a wall. I guess she felt that she had to, probably because it was in the script. (In case you can't tell, I'm being sarcastic, there was NO reason for Delenn to be there other than to have that dramatic scene with Sheridan at the end! If she was looking for the little Minbaris' room, I think she was a bit off...)
Anyway, when a Security guy gets whapped by a Vorlon tentacle and thrown onto the ground, the brave, self-sacrificing, and convenient little Ambassador starts trying to drag him away from the battle to help him. This of course causes HER to get in danger, so Sheridan has to say, "DELENN!!!" all dramatic and get HIMself whapped by the "enraged" Vorlon. So then Lorien--who just happens to be there (I guess immortality gets boring after a while) says, "Now". and the piece of Kosh Classic that's inside of Sheridan comes out--which is of course what New Kosh wanted all along; why he followed the obviously-lying Lyta in the first place.
So then the two Koshes fight--the New Kosh being blue and Kosh Classic being yellow--swirling around each other, screeching all weird, until they eventually break through the ceiling, travel along the ENTIRE length of the station, and then go through space into New Kosh's ship (which had broken away from the station earlier) where I am assuming Kosh Classic causes the ship to explode, taking BOTH of them out with it. And everything is fine again in Happy Valley Station, except that the Captain appears to be dead again. Whoops.
So Lorien (ugh) "brings him back to life" again, by putting his life energy into Sheridan. As he (THANKFULLY) explains later, there is nothing magical or mystical about it; only a higher technology that allows him to use energies in certain ways that repair cells and such. But he can only bring Sheridan back for 20 years. This leads to one of THE most adorable and touching scenes in the entire show.
Delenn had said earlier, with tears in her voice, that she was so scared that Sheridan was going to reject her now that he realised she hadn't been telling him the truth, so to prove to her that he has NO intentions of leaving her, he PROPOSES.
Well, KINDA. He never actually SAYS the words "Will you marry me?" but he does, eventually, find where he put the engagement ring (under a cushion on the chair) and put it on her finger while explaining what the Human custom of engagement rings is all about. The look on her face is absolutely priceless. It's moments like this that take B5 above the standard action T.V. show; deep, realistic character relationships. John Sheridan and Delenn have got to be just about THE cutest T.V. couple I have EVER seen.
And meanwhile, what IS up with Mr. Garibaldi? He is acting weirder and weirder. It seems like he's gotten even MORE cynical, sarcastic, suspicious, and nasty lately. If such a thing is possible. "God, I thought I was depressing!" says Ivanova, shaking her head. And when Franklin is examining him one last time and goes to take off his surgical glove, it causes Garibaldi to have some kind of creepy flashback. But flashback to WHAT? Ah, that's the question, isn't it...
Back to Centauri Prime, as sinister purple clawed warships swoosh though a glittering night sky. Emperor Nutball--erm, I mean, Cartagia, is out for a nightly stroll (like when is he NOT awake at night?) looking as skinny and well-dressed as ever, when Londo comes upon him. Cartagia asks Londo what does he see when he looks at the sky. "Stars", is Londo's answer.
That's evidently not the right answer though, as the still horribly-deformed Mr. Morden comes slinking out of the shadows (hee) and informs Londo that the Vorlons are out there too and they've evidently gone nuts, destroying ANY world where his...associates...have a base. Naturally, this freaks the HELL out of Londo! "Why was I not told of this earlier?" he demands. Well, Cartagia reasons, there ISN'T any reason to tell anyone else about it, now is there? (HUH?) Morden refuses to move the Shadow ships off Centauri Prime, but he states confidently that the Vorlons do not want a whole lot of civilian casualties (wanna bet?). So if they put a bunch of warships into orbit around Centauri Prime, supposedly the Vorlons will realise that this means they are willing to resist and leave them alone. Yeah, RIGHT.
Londo, obviously rather upset, tries to reason with Emperor Loony-toon about this. Cartagia chirps yet again, "I LIKE you, Mollari! You think the same way I do!" (now THAT would make me worry about myself, if he said that to ME...) and tells Londo to follow him. to discuss his plans further. He gives Londo the "great honour" of being able to see something that only a few have ever seen before--
--his desk full of SEVERED HEADS!
If Londo ever wondered exactly how insane this guy was, all doubts are allayed by the end of this scene. And in another wonderful parallell to "I, Claudius" (this whole sub-plot is just FULL of them), Cartagia introduces Londo to one of the members of his "Shadow Cabinet", a Minister Dugari. "You remember him, always coughing, most distressing, but we finally cured it." SHUDDER!! In "I, Claudius", Caligula "cures" the incessant coughing of his little cousin by having his personal guard CHOP THE KID'S HEAD OFF!! Now I know Straczynski is always denying that he parallelled this or made a tribute to that on purpose, that it was always accident, but this is TOO close to deny. Not that that's a bad thing; "I, Claudius" is always a CLASSY thing to copy...
Anyway, now that I'm done over-analyzing throwaway lines, on to the scene proper, which is something indeed. Londo, in between trying not to throw up from the smell (which doesn't seem to bother His Imperial Fruitcakeness at all, in fact, he's EATING SNACKS while in the room!) begs Cartagia to blockade the planet. No, he won't do that. Then tell the Shadow ships to leave, NOW! No, he won't do that either, it would be RUDE, after all he did PROMISE them they could stay if they made him a God. So what is he going to do?
Oh, nothing much--just LET the Vorlons blow up Centauri Prime ON PURPOSE!! "Yes, I can see that you're thinking the same way I do." says Cartagia, his eyes bugging out eerily in the half-dark. "After I've become a God, I can't let my people go on without me, that would be cruel, and anyone else who followed after me would naturally HAVE to be inferior. Don't send the ships, I will take it all with me in spirit! The fire of Centauri Prime will be an inaguration pyre, to light the way for my ascension into godhood! Let it burn, Mollari! Let it all end...IN FIRE!"
WHOAH.
And isn't this what Kosh Classic said to the last Emperor, Turhan (who was Cartagia's uncle!), when he was lying in his deathbed in the second season? "How will all of this end?" asks Turhan plaintively.
"In fire." answers Kosh.
WHOAH boy...
(Now, you realise, this makes him both Caligula AND Nero, which is a scarier combination than I ever wanted to even THINK about...)
Later on, we see Londo "summon" Cartagia (I'm not sure how anyone could "summon" the Emperor, but hey) and dump this HUGE load of absolute garbage on him, playing on his ego, manipulating him. His argument is that if he becomes a God and Centauri Prime blows up ("and we will be MOST happy to fall, you were right about that, your Majesty!"), WHO will be left to remember him? Who will be left to sing his praises, worship in his temples, etc.? So, Londo suggests, why doesn't he go to NARN to do G'Kar's execution in a few days, before Centauri Prime falls to the Vorlons, so that the Narns can SEE him for what he really is (bwahaha) and experience his greatness for themselves, and spread word of his holiness through a HUNDRED worlds beyond! Not exactly playing with a full deck, Cartagia does indeed agree to it. And little does he know it, but the stage has just been set for his assassination...
One last little scene--an epilogue, if you will--Cartagia is complaining to Londo about G'Kar. "I just DON'T like the way he's LOOKing at me!!" he exclaims. "No, I don't like it AT ALL. Well, what do YOU think I should do about it, Mollari?"
This is where Londo makes his mistake--not wanting to deliberately think of a way to torture poor G'Kar, he leaves the decision in the Emperor's hands and nervously excuses himself. So that leaves Cartagia to come up with the BRILLIANT solution of--"Pluck out his eye!"
YIKES! Hasn't this guy ever heard of Ray-Bans? If you don't like the way he's looking at you, just COVER his eyes, sheesh!
"Which one?" ask the stunned guards.
"It doesn't matter!" snaps the exasperated Emperor, then, doing an eeny-meeny-miney-moe gesture, decides on the left eye and skips out of the room with a gleeful smile on his face.
And as the guards move in on poor G'Kar, the door...slowly...swings...shut.
And the credits roll.
Don't ya just LOVE these CHEERFUL endings?
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