"You really are campaining for b*tch of the year, aren't you?'
'As defending champion, are you nervous?"
(Cordelia and Buffy in "When She Was Bad")

"Whatever is causing this Joan Collins 'tude deal with it! Embrace the pain, spank your inner mopet, whatever, but get over it!"
(Cordelia in "When She Was Bad")

"I mean why else would she be acting like such a b-i-t-c-h?'
'Willow, I think you are a little too old to be spelling out your words.'
'A bitcah?"
(Willow, Giles, and Xander in "When She Was Bad")

"Why are bad things always happening to me?'
'Karma."
(Cordelia and Xander in "Some Assembly Required")

"You were my sire, man! You were my Yoda!
'Things change.'
'Not us! Not demons!"
(Spike and Angel in "School Hard")

"Don't worry it won't hurt a bit.'
'You're wrong Spike, it's goin' hurt a lot."
(Spike and Buffy in "School Hard")

"Don't tell me people still fall for that Anne Rice routine."
(Spike in "School Hard")

"I don't always use violence. Do I?'
'The important thing is you believe that."
(Buffy and Xander in "Inca Mummy Girl")

"This isn't some fairy tale: When I kiss you, you don't wake up from a deep sleep and live happily ever after.'
'When you kiss me, I want to die."
(Angel and Buffy in "Reptile Boy")

"This ain't no tea party princess."
(Xander in "Halloween")

"If I say something you don't like, do you promise not to bite me?"
(Willow in "Lie to Me")

"I've known you for two minutes and I can't stand you. I don't feature you living forever. Can I eat him now, love?"
(Spike in "Lie to Me")

"Buffy: Nothing is never simple anymore. I'm constantly trying to work it out who to love or hate, who to trust... It's just like the more I know the more confused I get.

Giles: I believe that's called growing up.

Buffy: I'd like to stop now then, ok?

Giles: I know the feeling.

Buffy: Does it ever get easy?

Giles: You mean life?

Buffy: Yeah, does it get easy?

Giles: What do you want me to say?

Buffy: Lie to me.

Giles: Yes, it's terribly simple. The good guys are always stalwart and true. The bad guys are easily distinguished by their pointy horns or black hats. And, uh, we always defeat them and save the day. No one ever dies and everyone lives happily ever after.

Buffy: Liar."
(Buffy and Giles in "Lie to Me")

"I'm Kendra, the vampire slayer."
(Kendra in "What's My Line?" Part 1)

"Angel is our friend, but I don't like him."
(Xander in "What's My Line?" Part 2)

"I don't take orders, I do things my way!'
'No wonder ya died."
(Buffy and Kendra in "What's My Line?" Part 2)

"They used to eat cake and eggs and honey, until you came and ripped their throats out!'
'Ahhhhhhh!"
(Drusilla and Angel in "What's My Line?" Part 2)

"Aren't you a throw himself to the lions sort of sap these days. Well the lions are on to you, baby."
(Spike in "What's My Line?" Part 2)

"Honestly, don't you ever think about anything except clothes and boys?'
'Saving the world from vampires."
(Joyce and Buffy in "Bad Eggs")

"Well, you know it's that whole sex leads to responsibility thing which I personally don't get. The egg is a baby you are supposed to take care of it and teach it good Christian values.'
'My egg is Jewish.'
'Then teach it that dreidel song."
(Xander and Willow in "Bad Eggs")

"Do you like it, baby?'
'It reeks of death."
(Spike and Drusilla in "Surprise")

"You thought you are Jenny Calendar now! You are still Janna of the Chalderhash people, a gypsy.'
'I know."
(Uncle and Jenny in "Surprise")

"She's just crazy enought to do it.'
'Do what? Reassemble the judge?
'Bring forth Armaggedeon.
'Does anybody else want cake?"
(Angel, Willow, and Cordelia in "Surprise")

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