GAZPACHO SOUP
don't forget...it's served cold.

Again, we don't feel like explaining anything, so here's the instructions:

Gazpacho is an infamous and refreshing cold summer soup whose actual origins have been lost in the mists of time. It has adorned the tables of captains and generals as far back as Julius Caeser, but is more commonly known as a Spanish favourite. The future Arnold Rimmer's meteoric rise in the Court of Alexander the Great suggests that it was never served there. The likely reason for this is that it would have taken a long time to make, as all the ingredients had to be ground to a smooth paste withn a pestle and mortar. It was fortunate for his Chief Eunuch, then, that among all his conquests, Alexander the Great never acquired a blender.
There are many variations of this famous soup, and it is impossible to find a definitive recipe. There is an old Spanish saying: "There are as many gazpacho recipes as there are pestles and mortar". There is also an old Cat saying: "Mortars are for monkeys. Cats do not DO the 'W' word". What all recipes have in common is that they are all made from white bread blended with top quality olive oil and garlic. They all use the very ripest peppers and tomatoes and they are flavoured with a little vinegar or lime juice before icy cold water is added to make a cold, smooth soup. Garnishes are an extremely important part of the gazpacho and can consist of tiny bread croutons, cubes of cucumber, chopped pepper, hard boiled egg, tomatoes, onions, and even strips of ham. Crapola, Inc. recommends using onions with few layers of skin for onionitarian reasons - it's the kindest thing as they are getting a little chilly in the Spanish winter by November 25 - Gazpacho Soup Day.

Ingredients

This takes 20 minutes to prepare plus 4 hours to chill, and serves 4.

50g of crustless white bread

2 cloves of garlic

60ml of olive oil

450g of ripe tomatoes

1 salad onion (minimal skin - it's kinder)

1 small red chilli

2 red peppers, halved, deseeded and cut into chunks

The juice of half a lime

300ml of icy water

70g of serrano ham, cut into strips(garnish)

2.5cm of chopped cucumber (garnish)

2 tomatoes, deseeded and chopped(garnish)

Step One
Put the bread and garlic in a processor and blend until the mixture forms fine crumbs. With the motor running, gradually add the oil. This will quickly make a sticky lump, but don't worry. Turn the blender off and leave to infuse while peeling the tomatoes. Pack the tomatoes in a large bowl and pour over enough boiling water to cover. Leave for 20 seconds, then drain. Carefully peel away the skins for the tomatoes, then cut them in half.

Step Two
With the blender motor running again, add the tomatoes, salad onion, red chilli and peppers. When you have a thick red paste, flavour with the lime juice then slowly add the icy water. Pour into a large bowl and cover with cling wrap. Chill for as long as you can - at least for 4 hours, but if time allows leave up to 12 hours.

Step Three
Ladle the gazpacho into 4 individual bowls and for the garnish arrange the ham, cucumber and tomatoes in little groups on top. Spoon the crushed ice in the centre and serve cold.

Talkie Recommends...
Why serve this soup cold?!? What a waste of an opportunity! Even a lowly Second Technician could tell you that gazpacho soup should be served hot!! Yes, HOT!! And what better way to heat it than to take that 50g of crustless white bread and toast it?!? You simply cannot beat gazpacho soup made with crisp, hot toast, and garnished with toasted breadcrumbs! Ahhhh, perfect!! Serve with warm buttered muffins.

O.K., here's a recipe for chicken vindaloo. We're not sure how it tastes, because we never got around to finding all of the ingredients. But when we do try it out, you will be the first to know!


Chicken Vindaloo

Ingredients
2 teaspoons whole cumin seeds;
2-3 hot, dried red chillies;
1 teaspoon cardamom seeds;
A 2 cm (3") stick of cinammon;
1.5 teaspoons whole black mustard seeds;
5 tablespoons white wine vinegar;
1.5 teaspoons salt;
1 teaspoon light brown sugar;
10 tablespoons vegetable oil;
190 g (6.5 oz) onions, peeled and sliced;
5 tablespoons plus 225 ml (8 fl oz) water;
900 g (2 lb) boneless chicken cut into small chunks;
A 2.5 cm (1") cube of fresh ginger, peeled and chopped;
A small, whole head of garlic, separated & peeled;
1 tablesppon ground coriander seeds;
1/2 teaspoon ground turmeric.

Method
Grind cumin seeds, red chillies, pepercorns, cardamom seeds, cinnamon and black mustard seeds in a grinder. Put the ground spices in a bowl. Add the vinegar, salt and sugar. Mix and set aside.

Heat the oil in a wide, heavy pot over a medium flame. Put in the onions. Fry, stirring frequently, until the onions turn brown and crisp. Remove the onions with a slotted spoon and put them into the container of an electric blender or food processor. (Turn the heat off). Add 2-3 table- spoons of water to the blender and puree the onions. Add this puree to the ground spices in the bowl. (This is the vindaloo paste. It may be made ahead of time and frozen.)

Dry off the chicken chunks with a paper towel and remove large pieces of fat, if any.

Put the ginger and garlic into the container of an electric blender or food processor. Add 2-3 tablespoons of water and blend until you have a smooth paste.

Heat the oil remaining in the pot once again over a medium-high flame. When hot, put in the chicken chunks, a few at a time, and brown them lightly on all sides. Remove each batch with a slotted spoon and keep in a bowl. When all the chicken has been removed from the pot put the ginger-garlic paste in the same pot. Turn down the heat to medium. Stir the paste for another few seconds. Add the coriander and turmeric. Stir for another few seconds. Add the chicken, any juices that may have accumulated as well as the vindaloo paste and 225 ml (8 fl oz) water. Bring to a boil. Cover and simmer gently for an hour or so, until the chicken is tender. Stir occasionally meanwhile.

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