Greetings and Happy 203 , Mah Li'l BSE Hangers-On and just all you jess plain spectators. Hope your transition to the new year was a hell of a lot smoother than mine was. Nothing like moving to make you appreciate staying put. Oh, and the trek across fog-laden (1/4 mile visibility) West Texas from Abilene to Pecos was a real special treat. Kinda like listening to Chip rant during a BSE Q&A session....
Anyway, welcome to this issue of the Bone. I'll forgo my usual editorial rant here (stop cheering - dammit!) and just touch on a few highlights. Not much has really gone on since Issue 67. Oh, a new affiliation here and there, a new player or two (what was that about a fool and his money?), a couple of shoot-em-ups, some nasty words exchanged on what passes for the BSE List. The usual crap.
Contrary to rumors, I'm still playing, albeit at a much reduced level. I'm still not sure how many other people are active in BSE, but when I had last checked (using this holstein-patterned POS that pretends to be a PC), there were approximately 35 people subscribed to the List.
Neil, our glorious BSE Gamemaster has been hammering away (in between surgeries) at that wad o' paper-clips and bubblegum known as The Program.
As far as Tales of the Haven Expanse is concerned, I have no news, because, well, I haven't been paying any attention to it. No of the people I've talked to have heard anything about it. Maybe that'll change by the next issue. And maybe Lemites will dominate the Universe...
First, my apologies for getting this out two weeks later than I said it would be. for those of you that missed it:
Official Ringbone Apology
In the interest of making the Ringbone Gazette a more professional publication, our tech-monkeys here at the Ringbone Press purchased a copy of BigLeaguePress.
Unfortunately it was the dreaded NYT.03 version (note: never buy software from the back of a Dodge minivan parked under a freeway).
To put it mildly, we have had problems with everything from the Raines GSWB editor module, to the JBlair remote reporting feature.
Even more annoying was its tendency to compile everything at the far left of the screen, making reading difficult.
As a result, we've had to resort to less technological methods and to our backup copies.
Corrections (especially corporal in the case of our tech- monkeys) are being made as I write this. We anticipate getting the issue to press this weekend and apologize for not fulfilling your expectations.
Back to Beyond the Sorry- I mean, Stellar Empire. So much for expecting a quiet year. Both the Foelians and the AIS have been involved in combat. Around Week 8 or so, an AIS ship wiped out an attacking FGZ vessel in Porkian. However, the AIS got thrown for a loss during an attack on the colony Azoomink. Wait a minute- THAT'S IN THE PERIPHERY! Where the hell was the IMP???!!!
The Foelians, meanwhile, have lost at least three ships to Flagritz attacks and another to an IND Transhole ship. So it looks like the Flagritz are active again, the FOE are simultaneously puffing their chests while taking it in the shorts (do demons wear shorts?), and the AIS is still using TinPotGovermentOS 1.4.1.
I received this next missive from a certain "Dona de Eberlarne" last October and didn't include it in the last Bone. Hey, it was kind of depressing, and it was a Holiday Issue! Anyway, it's kind of relevant to the next interview so here it is:
GNN wire report: Neverwhere, Brody:Mace - 202.35
The mood in the Flagritz capital this evening is one of stunned disbelief. Earlier today, General Fred Turnup, adjutant to Ataman Deslock, announced that the Ataman had ordered the surrender of the capital before retiring into seclusion.
"The Ataman gave no reason," Turnup said in reply to pleas for an explanation for the sudden move. Although the government has steadfastly assured the population that the colony defenses were in no danger of failing, Turnup stated, "The general staff gave a strong estimate that without relief, the fall of the colony is inevitable."
He implied that this estimate may have led the Ataman to his decision.
This reporter learned just minutes ago of a rumor that an urgent appeal to the Dark Lords of Foebius may have been refused. Said one attendee of the Imperial Court who declined to be identified, "There was a damn good reason that Abomination got his head stuck on a pole. The bastard hates the Empire!" His reaction to the rumor was typical.
Elsewhere tonight the capital is quiet, awaiting the answer of the AIS Omicron Nodes to the surrender message. Many here expect that this Mace-set will be the last they see as citizens of a Flagritz Empire. Perhaps the Mace-rise will tell.
This is Kristine Imapearnotaturnup for Galactic News Network, signing off.
But six months after this, I began to receive more anonymous reports of Flagritz activity, plus messages that there was a new Flagritz leader. The Bone receives email of this type, some of it fit only for the 'Rumor and Innuendo' page (see below for the latest examples), and some of it appears legit. The Flagriz one appeared genuine, so I tracked it down. This is the result:
Ringbone Interview: Emir Saulita Conifera of the 'New Flagritz'
Toward the beginning of 203, Reports began to surface about the AIS being handed a setback during their attack on FGZ Azoomink. Rumors began circulating that there was new leadership among the Flagritz; a dissident faction intent on restoring Flagritz honor.
So as Harold Hedd would say, the Bone never lets a journalistic opportunity go to waste. So after a long and arduous search, the Ringbone Gazette managed to secure an in-character interview with this new Flagriz leader, Emir Saulita Conifera.After some initial fits and starts, the Ringbone Gazette's intrepid reporter, Chuck U. Farley, managed to communicate with the leadership and obtain an interview via interstellar link:
Bone: How did you become Emir?
Emir Conifera: I had lost contact with my family recently. I had heard that the AIS were capturing and slaughtering the Flagritz in the Transhole region and the last hurried short message from my family indicated that the AIS were spotted in system, presumably on their way in. A close friend of mine took the message along with several others and left the system as quick as possible so as to have the message delivered to.
There was no real leader left except for a couple of bunglers previously appointed by Cin [of Brody] to operate per his orders. I and several of my associates felt the only choice left to us was to take action and do something since Cin's orders are what got the Flagritz removed from the Transhole region. While the former local leader was not disposed of (we need his gene pool and he WAS smart before Cin's contamination), I did assume control in time to thwart an AIS attack against the two Flagritz colonies in the Periphery.
Bone: Why the title 'Emir'?
Emir Conifera: "Emir" is certainly in the tradition of warlord leadership. Though I don't believe it has ever been applied to a female before. If anyone wishes to contest the accuracy of it, they are free to meet me out back. The other title has been stricken from all records such that where the former title used to be, it now says "-stricken-'. The name only exists on the official Stricken Words list. So far, there is only one. As soon as Cin has permanently departed this realm, that name will be added to the Stricken Words list.
Bone: Is this a resistance movement, a liberation movement or a legitimate government?
Emir Conifera: Well, the original government no longer exists thanks to Cin. The original seat of the government is gone leaving some remnants of activity in some outlying areas. With no original government, a "resistance" or "liberation" movement is certainly not the correct term. This is the legitimate government. [Of] Course, all leaders consider themselves the legitimate government.
Bone: Do you intend to reclaim the glory of the FGZ, or write a new chapter in their history?
Emir Conifera: Can you tell me when "the glory of the FGZ" existed? The most I can tell is roughly 20 years ago when Q-Snit was originally moved to our home location.
Other than that, I intend a new chapter, one that will right the wrongs committed. We will fully face the shame inflicted upon us and recognize it for what it was and go after he who brought it to us. Even now after taking over the Flagritz leadership, Cin tried further deception by pointing out only enough of what happened to make is seem as if HE and the Flagritz were the victims instead of taking responsibility for his actions that forced others to view him differently and respond militarily.
Cin is only interested in full domination of others and as such, has continued to distort information so as to make himself the victim in an attempt to get others to side with him. Those siding with him would then be under his control since they aligned with him instead of the other way around.
Bone: Then, are the Flagritz now at war with the Foelians?
Emir Conifera: No. Unless the Foelians fully intend to support Cin.
Bone: For the edification of our readers, what exactly did Cin of Brody do to warrant the Transhole Alliance to take military action?
Emir Conifera: The remaining Transhole powers had researched the design of the Battlestar. They paid all the points for it along with the time and used their resources for it including doing all the hauling needed for getting the resources there. When [it was] completed, the Cin suggested that the Flagritz be allowed to build it because they can build it at a smaller colony than the others can. That was agreed upon and the tech was then transferred to the Flagritz.
Then Cin told the other Flagritz that he was not going to allow the other members of the Transhole to have the ship, but instead the Flagritz would exclusively operate the ship to "protect" the Transhole.
Cin claims the Transhole powers wanted him to "give away" the ships, but considering he did not do any of the work to get it and considering how the Transhole has always shared things amongst ourselves, it was decided immediately that the only way to resolve this was through war. Something that was not desired, especially since one was not all that far in the past.
I firmly doubt the Transhole was unwilling to haul in materials to compensate for ship cost, but that part I have no data on. Records of past actions indicate that such an agreement was likely.
Bone: Are you saying that the Transhole Alliance had justification for essentially occupying Flagritz territory?
Emir Conifera: Based on the above, what do you think?
Bone: What reason do you think the AIS has for attacking FGZ colonies and do you think the AIS will stop now that there is new leadership in place?
Emir Conifera: They have stopped. The reason is in my last answer.
Bone: Do you intend to reach an understanding with the AIS?
Emir Conifera: [That is] Confidential.
Bone: The RIP also had a hand in military action against the Flagritz. We've had reports that the RIP may be undergoing a resurgence. Do the FGZ plan to take any action against the RIP?
Emir Conifera: The RIP are an interesting unknown commodity. They were heavily supported by the FGZ, FOE, DTR, ZCS and several other powers. What I find strange is how they would side WITH the AIS, SAM and WCE against the FGZ despite the fact we gave them so many ships. We would have given them Battlestars too if they had wanted them. And to make it even more interesting is that even though the RIP sided with the AIS, the AIS are subsequently knocking out their colonies too.
Right now and probably for a long time, the RIP are dead. Their supporters are still alive, the FOE and ZCS, but the RIP themselves are dead so no, there probably won't be any action against them.
I know I had mentioned that this issue would contain the first installment of a new historical series: Raiders: A History of the RIP. Well, guess what? You'll have to wait for it until the next issue. That's because all the histerical- I mean, historical stuff is still packed away in moving boxes.
I can tell you that the series will be a historical compilation of both in-game and out of character [OOC] actions. The compilation is based on entries into the original and later versions of the BSE History, interviews with players, and the author's own recollections. The OOC actions are in italics. Part One will be called "Rebellion and the Founding".There will probably be some inaccuracies and perceived editorial slant which I'll hear about, but [PETULANCE ALERT!!!] I broached this idea back last October and didn't get any response, so don't bitch too much. So there.
Time for the final installment of the McAllister saga:
Rollo McAllister: Agent of the STC
Part 7:
Synopsis: While on a routine debt collection, STC Agent Rollo McAllister was caught up in the defense, fall, and re-taking of SSL Arkham during the Great War. After recovering from wounds received as a coerced member of Governor Goldfarb's rebelling militia unit, Rollo became acting manager of Arkham's STC branch, a position he had hoped to stay in until his retirement in six months. However a short-notice meeting with the Head of the STC's Periphery Office at Arkham's hotel resulted in a newly-promoted Inspector and his longtime sidekick Swek taking an STC Negotiator and his supposed assistant (more likely an STC operative) to ROC Corona.
But halfway there, things went wrong. An off-duty McAllister finds Negotiator Anstrom dead of an apparent heart attack, with his red-headed assistant, Tevin Rai, in the Negotiator's cabin. After storing the body in the hold, McAllister questions the assistant, but doesn't get much information. He sends off a report to STC Central while on bridge-watch, puts the Repossession on autopilot and then heads to the galley. He meets Rai who has thoughtfully made a pot of java. After telling her, over her objections, that the Negotiator's effects have to be inventoried, the assistant storms off and McAllister pours himself a cup. Two sips later, he slumped over the galley table...
I woke up on the bed in my cabin, blindfolded, gagged, and face-down in a puddle of my own drool. Gently flexing my arms and legs, I found that they were all intact and working, albeit fastened together with cable restraints. I rubbed my face against the mattress and managed to work the blindfold and gag loose without losing too much skin.
Waiting for nausea or pain to strike, I gently worked myself into a sitting position. So far, so good. The only thing that really hurt was my pride. Whatever Rai had used to knock me out didn't have much in the way of side effects. A vague fuzziness was about it.
The Repossession's remote ship's indicators were on the bulkhead to my left. According to the chronometer, I'd been out about two days. I was no astrogation expert, but if the position indicators were right, the Repo had way overshot the Draconian Cluster - in the wrong direction. Great situation, I told myself. One passenger dead, the ship hijacked by the other, El Capitan and crew incapacitated. Some cruise ship you're running here, McAllister. Maybe it was the drug, but suddenly a wave of intense emotion hit me when I thought of Swek lying dead somewhere. I managed to fight it down - a year in an Arkham hospital bed gives you plenty of time to practice.
Maybe the emotion jarred something, but a thought came staggering forth from the back of my mind. Something about another modification to the Repo. I managed to wriggle off the bed and work off one of my space booties. Feeling around on the bulkhead behind the head of the bunk, my sock-clad toes found a protrusion. A little more work managed to move the protrusion toward me, until I heard a soft click. If the technician who had done the lucrative off-hours job was correct, I should see the results in a half-TU or so. I amused myself in the meantime by working off my other bootie and coming up with a half-baked plan.
She came into my cabin almost exactly on time.
"What did you do to the engines?" Rai demanded. She had a small laser pistol in her hand. I gave her a confused stare, and then let an 'oh no' expression creep into my face. Credit all those drama classes at the University.
"The Survival Program," I mumbled.
"The what?"
"It's a shipboard system used on exploration vessels," I lied, "A combination of sensors and software. It kicks in when the crew is incapacitated or the ship is damaged. It shuts down equipment in sequence and routes the power to essential functions such as life support.It's an FET proprietary thing. The previous owner had it installed.I'd forgotten all about it." She gave me a dubious look.
"Think about it," I tried to look earnest, "There's a corpse in the hold. The ship's log probably hasn't registered a watch change in a while. I was unconscious, and *BOB* knows what's happened to Swek. Only one functioning lifeform coming across the sensors...." I sat there and looked at her, trying to see if my bluff had worked.
"You're going to tell me how to turn it off."
"Tevin, I'm not sure how to do it," I replied, "It's been a long time. Like I told you, I forgot it even existed. I do remember that it does require voice recognition to turn it off, though."
Rai stared at the bulkhead for a minute. Suddenly she tucked her weapon in the back pocket of her suit. She grabbed me under my arms and began dragging me, none too gently, out of the cabin and onto the bridge.
Gee, only a chapter or two to go. Only two friggin' years to
get this far...
Much as I despise spam, especially the porn crap, once in a while a gem slips through. For those of you with moral or philosophical objections, kindly skip to the next paragraph.
Anyway, in the Bone mailbox came a junk email with the title "Racoon doing F*llation". I dunno, maybe it was the lack of sleep, but it just struck me as funny/weird; and not just the poor English-as-a-fifth-language grammar and spelling. It was an Rlo Krieger moment.
Good thing there isn't a race in BSE resembling those furry miscreants. I have enough problem with Robotic Pleasure Sheeptm; I shudder to think of Myrrian or Lemite porn would be like (though some- times I think the latter would really really like it....).
Forgot to mention that the RoC are still active. They've been real busy trying to shore up what passes as their home security system. Oh, and Senator "Buffalo" Bill Cody is still around, albeit much quieter. Guess there's something good that came out of Mr. Harrison's f**king-over of BSE....
Rumor & Innuendo
* Explorers have discovered the gateway system that allowed the FISH to invade the Stellar Empire.
* The RIP are coming back, this time as pure mercenaries.
* Look to the starport markets for a new version of the Pleasure Sheeptm
* A certain odd signal discovered in the Transhole is being analyzed.
* Two strange ship of a new design were spotted on the fringes of the Capellan Periphery.
Guess we can call this a wrap. No apologies for it being a scanty issue - that's the breaks. I promise that Harold Hedd will be at the helm next time. See ya.
Ads and Stuff
Wanted: Upgrades of our ships' drives. Looking to buy 45 Gravitic Drives and enough "special" Jump engines to equal 8 JE's. ROC Envoy # 1258
The Ringbone Gazette would like to thank:
America West Airlines
Skillet's Restaurant, Abilene,Texas (for letting me sit and pouring me coffee for me for almost three hours, trying to both shake off 14 hours of driving, and come up with ideas for this rag)
Westin Mission Hills Resort, Rancho Mirage, California
Jimmy Buffet's Margaritaville Restaurant, Orlando Florida (Hedd... margaritas...)
Water Canyon Coffee Company, Yucca Valley California