Happy Cinco de Mayo, Kiddies! I was going to release this rag a week or so ago, but then I figured this would be a better time. Everybody's got a little Mexican in them on Cinco de Mayo, right? Or was that 'Japanese' and Golden Week'? I dunno. I figure I gotta have some Mexican in me - that'd explain the penchant for margaritas...
Spring is in the air...everywhere I look around... Yeah, I know it's "Love is In the Air", but I changed the lyrics. Artistic interpretation, y'know. Then again, maybe I should've kept the words the way they were. Kind of gives me this wacky image of Morgan and the Master Node skipping merrily through a field, hand-in-manipulator. Don't ask me if they swapped spit... Then again, it could've been the worm in the drink I had with my huevos rancheros for breakfast . No, it wasn't orange juice...
As you can tell, I survived to help put out another issue of the Bone. So! What's news. Well, I heard from Gandalf. Seems he still picking on the Ekinos. It seems that all the exciting stuff is happening away from the Periphery. Not that I'm complaining, mind you. It makes putting out the CPT easier; I can always claim that "I didn't hear anything". What CPT, you ask? Keep on askin', hombre, and enjoy the silence. Speaking of that, is it my imagination, or is BSE running on autopilot? I haven't heard squat from anyone. Matter of fact, if it weren't for the vacuum of space, we'd probably be hearing crickets.
In case you're wondering (and even if you're not), yes, this Bone issue is all black-and-white. Why? Call it retro. Boring, huh? This is what it looked like for years in the pre-digital age. Well, there was that phase when it was printed on yellow paper...nah. We'll see.
Enough of my patented rambling. We pulled back from the edge a bit (but just a bit) in this issue and went back to something more traditional. yes, we managed to secure an interview:
Ringbone Interview: Emite the Clean of the LEM
Long-time leader of the Lemites, Emite the Clean is one of the relatively few individuals that have actively survived since the early days of BSE. He is quite resilient, if nothing else.
Emite the Clean was the first Head Squek of the now-defunct Lemite Confederation, and was at the helm during the LEM-SED War, when a combined SED and Community force bombarded the planet Xuppy with extremely deadly nuclear weapons supplied by the former USS governor of the colony Korlus. Over 90% of the Lemite population died in that attack. Under his leadership, the survivors picked up the pieces and congregated at the colony, now renamed IND Lemite Colony.
The Bone's junior staffer, Rnl Krieger, managed to secure an interview on a recent visit. Speaking through an interpreter, Emite the Clean talked over a period of several meetings. This is the compilation of those talks:
Bone: How are the Lemites doing?
Emite the Clean: Quite well, thank you. Our numbers are still not what they used to be, and there can always be improvement, but overall our people are doing very well.
Bone: We understand that the Lemites are now under Kazerickii (KZK) protection?
Emite the Clean: Yes, for almost a year, I believe. The present KZK regime is quite good to us.
Bone: They weren't before that?
Emite the Clean: We did have some... difficulties... with one rather short-lived administration. Some of our more... entrepreneurial... officials wanted inducements for allowing KZK ships to establish outposts on Xuppy. That did not go well with the then-KZK leadership. Things are vastly improved now. The latest KZK leadership has been very supportive, even before they assumed control of Lexikonn.
Bone: How so?
Emite the Clean: Well, obviously there is the protection aspect. The KZK have been very generous in helping improve our colony They gave us our hiport, for instance. There has been a Company or two that also have engaged in philanthropic activities with our people as well.
Bone: Let's get back to the Lemites. How many are there now?
Emite the Clean: I'd rather not say exactly. It is in the six-digits.
Bone: And what exactly is the status of the Lemites? You're not a Confederacy or an affiliation anymore, right?
Emite the Clean: No, we are not a Confederacy, nor an affiliation. We are currently a protected race with some self-rule. There have been some initial talks with the KZK to more formally define our relationship, but the Lemites remain pretty much the same as we did under Imperial jurisdiction.
Bone: We noticed some political signs in the starport. Are the Lemites having elections?
Emite the Clean: We are considering a representative government for the colony. Essentially, it would be an elected Governor with an advisory Council. No date or procedure has been set for the elections, but some Lemites are already quite... enthusiastic.. about the concept.
Bone: How many political parties are there?
Emite the Clean: Six, at the last count.
Bone: That's a lot of enthusiasm.
Emite the Clean: Well, Lemites tend to be an enthusiastic race. I must add, however, that nearly all these parties are really quite small as far as membership is concerned. I believe the vast majority are quite content with things the way they are and will support whatever organizations that will maintain the status quo.
Bone: We've heard rumblings that the returning Lemite expatriates are behind this representative-government movement.
Emite the Clean: Nonsense! I have heard those rumors, as well as ones blaming the Myrrians, the now-extinct RIP, even Mister Cody of the Republic of Corona. Simply untrue. The population of returning Lemites is really quite small, and we have not had Myrrian visitors in a long time. We have not ever had contact with the RIP since The Genocide.
Bone: And what about William Cody?
Emite the Clean: It is true that our people have been exposed to outside influences more now than in any time of our history. But I would say that the KZK have had more of an effect on the Lemites than a minor official of a remote government.
Bone: Are you still Governor of IND Lemite Colony?
Emite the Clean: The colony is administered by a committee, of which I am a part. There is no actual governor, though that may change with the elections.
Bone: What are the long term plans for the Lemites?
Emite the Clean: The primary plan is to improve the Lemites' physical well-being. That includes improving the colony, initiating trade, and so forth.
Bone: What about gaining respect?
Emite the Clean: That will come in time.
Bone: You mean the Lemites are going to finally get back for all those comments about "rat on a stick" and those Lemite-skin seat covers?
Emite the Clean: If you're implying that we are going to go hunting for all those that did us wrong, then you are wrong. We have learned that fighting does not help. Week 28 of 185 taught us that lesson.Besides, our most bitter enemies, the SED and the Community, are both dead and gone, and we did not have to lift a paw to do it. Time and disease did in the former and Admiral Morgan and his allies took care of the latter.
Bone: Thank you for your time.
Emite the Clean: You are most welcome.
Just as a teaser... next issue The Bone plans an interview with none other than Baron Von Krieger. Yeah, I know it's going out on a limb making such an announcement, but it really is in the works. Really! Would I lie to you? Oh, behave!
And the submissions keep rolling in, amigos. Well, maybe not rolling in, but they certainly are coming. And we're grateful for every one of them. Well, maybe not the ones that tell us to eat something and die. At least they aren't tied to brick and thrown through the office windows anymore...
Alippon Launches Wormhole Explorer
By Tyrone "Ty" Meup
Dateline Alippon: Crowds gathered on this cold, blustery morning to see off ALP Alippon's first Survey Cruiser. The Inter-Species Explorer lifted off from its launch bay at 0700 today, with a roar of approval from a crowd of several thousand Alipponian citizens. The Explorer represents Alippon's first serious space research in modern times and, according to government sources, will focus its efforts on the local wormhole phenomenon in the Gateway Nebula.
The Explorer is commanded by Dr. Albert Jacine, second cousin to Lord Jacine, as well as a recognized scholar on space-time physics, especially Wormhole Phenomena. Dr. Jacine was one of the primary investigators of the Alipponian Wormhole Engine when the Jacines first arrived at Alippon, and has worked decades on understanding the characteristics of those engines. Dr. Jacine has published hundreds of articles on this topic, and has appeared in the pages of such revered publications as Interstellar Physics Today and The Annals of Gravitational Physics.
According to Dr. Jacine, the Explorer's primary mission will be to study the local wormhole in the Nebula. Dr. Jacine states:
"… The local wormhole phenomenon here in the Gateway Nebula presents us with an unparalleled opportunity to study a unique confluence of factors that has created a truly novel phenomenon: multiple wormholes opening at the same location. AND this situation seems to be stable!
Our objective is to study these wormholes in depth. We want to determine exactly how stable these wormholes are. We also want to determine under what conditions this type of wormhole can spontaneously arise, and whether we might find other wormholes elsewhere with similar properties. The results of these studies should raise our understanding of wormholes by an order of magnitude…"
The Inter-Species Explorer was named for the makeup of its crew, which includes human, samillian, morlock, and other alien crew, as part of its complement of researchers. In fact, the Alipponian Space Agency (ASA) has issued an open invitation to all species to send members to the Explorer to share in the research. The Explorer is currently assigned to SSQ 1452 of the Gateway Nebula, and has room for 15 additional researchers. To assign a researcher to the project, simply stop by 1452 and transfer a researcher to the Cargo Section of the Explorer (# 2606). Researchers can then submit projects to Dr. Jacine (LORDJACINE@AOL.COM), who will then schedule the appropriate hardware and research personnel. Results will be reported to the sponsoring agency only; dissemination to other groups will be the sole responsibility/privilege of the sponsoring agency.
Alippon is a small, artificial planetoid, originally discovered by the Stellar Empire in the Vertex system. It is the final product for which Fishbed (previously located in the Catone system) was the prototype. It moves by enveloping itself in an artificial wormhole, which can be directed to open into an almost arbitrary location. Its surface temperature is extremely high, except for isolated cooler areas. Alippon has no moons.
Politically, Alippon has been relatively uninvolved in Periphery politics. It enforces non-aggression within the system in which it resides (currently the Gateway Nebula), and encourages trade with all groups, regardless of political persuasion.
Alippon maintains a website at http://publish.hometown.aol.com/lordjacine/index.html
Dang, now I owe Ty two paychecks. Was that way cool, or what?
Hmmm, maybe I should start a business rag. Y'know- covering the BSE Economy.
Then again, I'd better hold off until there's something to write about. The
List does an adequate enough job with what developments there
are. Kinda hard
to fill up a couple of pages with what economic/ business/trade/technology
news there is right now. That is unless I fill it up with advertising. Yeah!
That's it! I'll fill it full of banners! There's Amazone, A-dult sites (why
something that caters to the mentality and hormone levels of an adolescent
is called 'adult' is beyond me), e-Casinos, Ebeh-hey-hey, plus forty million
other dot-Nams. Why do I call 'em dot-Nams? Does 'expensive screw-up' ring
a bell? Crusoe - another margarita if you please. I just love Cinco de Mayo.
What's that? I'm ranting again? Oh. Duckbutt was finally able to dig up the third installment of out "Rollo McAllister" series. Yes, the one that began oh, about two years ago? Better late than never, unless you happen to be the main course at a Foelian Banquet...
Mission to Draconia
Chapter Five of the Rollo McAllister Saga
Synopsis (and boy, does this need one!):
While on a routine debt collection, Rollo was caught up in the defense, fall, and retaking of SSL Arkham during the Great War. After recovering from wounds received as a coerced member of Governor Goldfarb's rebelling militia unit, Rollo became acting manager of Arkham's STC branch, a position he had hoped to stay in until his retirement in six months. However he was called to a short-notice meeting with the Head of the STC's Periphery Office at Arkham's hotel.
After finally meeting the Head of the STC's Periphery Branch Office, Rollo offered an assignment: escorting an STC negotiator to Draconian space to reestablish good relations with ROC Corona. Several STC agents had already turned down the job. Rollo was given a surprise promotion to Inspector (something less than 10% of STC agents ever achieve), as a 'down payment' for the job. He accepts the assignment and boards his yacht, the Stellar Repossession, and briefs his friend, the alien Swek. Then he prepares for what he hopes is a quiet "sunset assignment"...
It took only a day to turn over everything to my assistant. Maitha was sharp and pretty much had been running the place anyway. The presence of Kornigova, the STC's Periphery head over at the Arkham Hotel helped.
Kornigova also greased the skids for my departure. The Stellar Repossession got a full overhaul at the KZK naval yards at Kommercia Hive. She looked... hell- she was brand new by the time they finished. I showed Swek around when it was all over. He'd spent the interval in my hotel room; I had smuggled him back and forth from the ship.
"New comm-suite?"
"Yeah," I replied, "New comms, new bridge controls, new engines, a rec-deck, rehabbed compartments-"
"What about mine?"
"I gave them your instructions and they followed it to the letter, down to the new bunk you wanted," I said. Swek moved about the ship, patiently and thoroughly checking things out. I bided my time nursing a drink while watching a slugball match. After nearly twenty years, I was used to the alien's way of doing things. Not accepting, mind you, but used to it.
"They do good work," he finally said when he returned, "when do we leave?"
"Sometime in the next five TUs," I told him as I stood up and stretched, "a courier should be coming with the necessary documents. We've got a one-day window once we reach the Applecore system to rendezvous with the other ship. Hopefully it'll be a straight shot to Corona and these negotiations will be done in a couple of months."
"Dream them if you have them," was all Swek said in reply as he went into his compartment, "Call me when we are ready to leave."
"Damned cynic," I said to myself and got that fuzzy electric charge in my brain that passed for Swek's laughter. I went up to the bridge to prepare for departure.
* * * * *
Like any other efficient STC outfit, we reached Applecore just at the start of the ten-TU window for the rendezvous. I did a quick scan for other ships, then went back to the living quarters. A week or so of calculating jumps and moving in between them in a general direction to the rendezvous point left me feeling gritty and tired.
I had just stepped out of the hygiene unit when Swek paged me.
"Rollo, please access the general broadcast channel."
I turned it on just in time to hear:
"The Emperor and the Stellar Inner Empire is no more. It has been invaded and conquered by a race known only as "The Fish. I have no information with regard to the Fish's race, culture, technology or abilities. The most effective allies against the Fish were the DDR..."
I stood in silence as the broadcast went on. Swek came alongside me.
"That is the second time it has been broadcasted."
"Uh, huh," I replied, staring at the screen, "What's your impression?"
"It contains a great deal of truth," he said as he went over to the food dispenser, "The Fish, for example, are real. As to the rest, I cannot say. Much of the information is second or third-hand from those that are in no shape to be coherent, and it all is being broadcast by the Flagritz. However, I surmise that the Inner Empire is indeed no more."
"Swell," I muttered, 'so much for the retirement house on Praxis."
"You would not have been happy there." Swek sucked on a beverage bulb as he curled up in his chair.
"Let me be the judge of that," I snarled, "In any case, none of this changes anything."
"Anything that we know of."
"I suspect that we'll find out when our passenger shows up."
"The STC presses on..." I heard Swek say as I went to my cabin to change. Damn alien, I thought. But he was right.
Nothing stopped the STC's work. Not even the death of an Empire.
Saturday night
I was downtown, working for the FBI... Something about death and taxes
passed through my mind, but it didn't stop. Oh, well.
I was wondering... whatever happened to Wild Willy and his Mexican bodyguards at SMS Methane Madness? Whatever happened to the SMS? Would the Master Node make a good pinata? Too many questions. Time for another Bone feature:
Letters to the Editor
Hedd:
When are you going to get the archives back and working? Two months is a bit long, don't you think?
Concerned in Capella
Well, Cee Cee - I don't think. That's el problemo. By the time I get done poring over GPI results at the end of the day, my mind decides it's quitting time. But your concern is noted. I'll forward it to the our Department of Archive Administration, where highly trained and motivated bureaucrats will file it and it won't see the light of day for a couple of years.
Dear mr hedd,
We miss ty. Ty is nice and he is sexy. We love him. We cannot live without him. Can you bring him back to us. We will come and get him if you want.
Signed
Robotic pleasure sheep serial numbers SS33251 through SS33351
Well, flock me! I should be the one to stand in the way of true love? And with 101 RPSs? Ty, ewe stud-muffin!
Tell ya what - no sense bleating around the bush. I'll get Lord Jacine on the horn and explain it to him. Maybe he can ram it through the proper channels and stop Ty 's being on the lamb.
Congrats on the latest RAG !
Meese knots mucho inta BUGS (only StarFishys). Butts dat Micky Spellaine story ofa "Da Ghods" EYE" [#63] was next ta Hall of Fame status !
Tanks a whole bunch !
Gandy
Well, I is touched, Gandalf. Once in a great while my illustrious staff manages to produce something of quality. The rest of the time it's like waiting for a feasibility study...
Harold -
What's the deal with the Ship of Fools Tour?
M. E. Clepp
Well, Meester Cleeep - I mean, Clepp... it's on hiatus. We took a break to earn some money to keep it going. (Duckbutt, how many stellars do we have in our account?) But no fear- (whattya mean, "we spent it"?) we'll be on our merry way real soon (what maintenance? We weren't due for another sixteen weeks!) and we'll regale you with our wunnerful adventures. (You meant "repair"? What repair? You hit an asteroid and didn't wake me up? Come into my cabin and we'll ..discuss it...)
Time for me to do another counseling session with my Ass. Editor. Amuse yourself with one of our regular features in the meantime:
Rumor and Innuendo
by Kinki DeWins
* Look for 2-3 affiliation leaders to make a career change very soon.
* The anti-USA Sargasso resistance is getting covert help from at least two groups, who aren't among the usual suspects.
* Yet another explorer has found his ship and crew in an uncharted system with no way out. This one might not even be in the same universe!
* Damage from running into the sun? Starcaptains might find out soon enough... better keep track of where the repair complexes are.
* Great Horny Toads! Reptilianoids spotted in the Nexus!
Guess we can call wrap this one and call it a burrito. Stay tuned for our Early Summer Edition - interview with Von Krieger, maybe another story or two... who knows? We might even get some quality graphics! Adios.
Ads & Stuff
Additions and updates, e-mail hedd@compuserve.com. Put it to Father Larry's attention (we're trying to keep him busy).
WANTED: SHIPS FOR WORK IN THE DC!! ROC Nuevo San Francisco (NSF) is seeking ships for system surveys. Basic stuff; nothing fancy. Will pay handsomely. Materiel support provided. Also looking to hire a CC (or other large freighter) to haul 24000MUs raw material from NSF to ROC Corona and backhaul same. Pay negotiable. Materiel support provided. Contact Quartermaster Franco Zappah, ROC Nuevo San Francisco (mailto:merrill@netins.net).
SMS New Comte(1620) is on Dogleg, the center of it all. If there is something you want that is not on the market let me know, maybe I can get it for you, maybe not. LBCMs will be added soon. Low on stellars? Barter is available. Do NOT land without permission. Use Highport for market transactions. - Lord Tiberius Croft
Merchant E now available at AFT Benden Weyr (3686) on moon Pikoil , space square 1548 in Adamon (42) system in the Capellan Periphery. Contact this office [shazzola at juno.com] for fees, PA's and other arrangements. Desired items for exchange are: Fissionables (reg & cond), Fossil Fuels (reg & cond), Korondite, Stellars and morale boosting materials in no particular order of importance.In the event the prophecies bear reality, best to get your upgrade today to get the max benefit from the upgrade. - Trader Jess Wong
New Location, Same Great Service! Please be sure to visit IND Alippon (1399) in the Gateway Nebula. Used ship market being updated, but ask us anyway. Entry and exit keys available - Lord Justin Jacine, IND Alippon
IND Werth is the best Free and Open port in BSE. Shop 'till you drop. Party 'till you drop! Sleep it off in any of our thousands of hotel rooms. Werth is the playground of the filthy rich and infamous. And never, ever a cover charge.
The MYR Want Your Business!! Myrrians are still building and selling Myrships (10-10-10) and Myrchant ships (1-30-2). Both these designs have the 100 mu/hull shift and are Nexus and Draconian Cluster friendly. Licenses available, as well as other items for sale and barter. - Der Laul, for the MYR.
The Kastorian Sovereignty is looking for starcaptains interested in hauling cargo between Capellan and/or Trian, and Boomer system. Please contact Lord Zalesa privately with your rates.
IND High Point wishes to announce the availability of the following items: Survey Cruisers. - 500,000 stellars, Merchant "A" specialization - 500,000 Stellars. Just land your ship, pay the $$ and you get the upgrade. Come to the only colony in the Nexus offering Merchant Specialization! Coming Soon: MerchantMan. High Point is located in the Sierra system (332) at space square 1045
BSE Web Sites
The following are affiliation and special-interest sites for BSE. Additions and updates, e-mail hedd@compuserve.com. Put it to Father Larry's attention (it gives him something to do).
The Bone would like to thank:
Mystic Pizza II, North Stonington CT
Ty Meup (no, this isn't in place of your paycheck)
IND Allipon
Jim Buckett, wherever you are