Margaritaville

Kathryn Janeway sighed impatiently and shifted the grip of her oversized carry-on bag. Her fingers were starting to get numb. I guess I shouldn't have bought all those bottles of cheap Tequila, she thought. Briefly, she considered pushing by the middle aged man blocking the aisle as he struggled to get his equally oversized carry-on bag into the overhead compartment. Kathryn sighed and shifted her grip again.

The middle aged man finished and started to squeeze his round form into the aisle seat. She barged past him and muttered, "Finally!" Reaching her row, she hurled her purse angrily into the seat beside Chakotay and tried to stuff her bag into the overhead compartment. Unfortunately, the compartment was pretty full. Kathryn grabbed a large item and tossed it on the floor. My bag fits nicely now, she thought with grim satisfaction.

"Hey!" The owner of the displaced item protested. "What do you think you're doing?"

Kathryn whipped around and snapped him a look. His mouth dropped open and he reached shakily for the call button. "Don't even think of calling the flight attendant," she whispered dangerously. The other passenger put his hand down and took refuge behind a complimentary copy of the in-flight magazine. Kathryn's nostrils flared. "What is that smell?" She demanded.

"We're only three rows from the bathroom." Chakotay answered. "Where's Seven? I thought she was with you."

"She had trouble getting through the metal detector, AGAIN. She's probably still there for all I know." Kathryn curled her lips in distaste. "That's not just the bathroom. Somebody on this plane has some serious body odor issues."

"You seem kind of tense," Chakotay said, furtively tucking his arms tightly against his body. "Didn't you find our vacation relaxing?"

Beside him, in the window seat, Tuvok snorted derisively. At Chakotay's glare, he put on his headphones, crossed his arms, and stared moodily out the small portal. Kathryn threw herself into the aisle seat and twisted to look Chakotay directly in the eye.

"Chakotay," she said crisply. "When you made our travel plans, did it ever occur to you that going to Mexico during spring break might not be such a great idea?"

"Well, I- " Chakotay began.

Kathryn stopped him with a raised hand. "Maybe you just didn't realize that sharing a hotel with a national fraternity convention would be quite so... disruptive?"

"I told Torres not to enter that wet t-shirt contest- " Chakotay protested, but Kathryn cut him off again.

"I'm sure B'Elanna will find that very reassuring when she gets out of jail, Chakotay." She continued to focus in on him, her faces inches from his. "And I'm certain you didn't plan for Harry to get food poisoning and spend the whole week in the bathroom either."

Harry groaned from the row behind them. Abruptly, he whimpered "Oh god- " and bolted for the restrooms, knocking aside the flight attendant and a full cart of beverages in his haste. Next to Harry's vacated position, Tom craned his neck to see back over the seats and called out to the flight attendant. "Hey, Sugar! What's a guy gotta do to get a drink around here?"

"Captain! Tom keeps putting his stuff on my tray table," said Neelix, popping his head over their seat backs from the row behind. "And he's hogging the arm rest."

"Neelix, sit down and quit complaining or I'm giving you a time out!" Kathryn whispered heatedly before returning her attention to Chakotay. She glared at him, "And have I told you yet how stupid you look in that sombrero?"

Chakotay touched the rim of his souvenir sombrero self-consciously but left it on. He didn't notice that Neelix was carefully tossing the peanuts from his airline snack into the sombrero's brim. Tom giggled. Tuvok turned up the volume on his walkman and stared even more intently out the window to express his utter contempt for the rest of his travel companions. Chakotay tried to ignore them, "Now, Kathryn, surely you must have enjoyed something about this vacation. You spent hours on the beach."

"That's because we were kicked out of our hotel when Seven started that fight!" Kathryn said furiously. "All the other hotels were full, we had to live on the beach! Can't you see how sunburned I am!"

"I thought you had just gone a little heavy on the blush," Chakotay said faintly, looking down at his hands to avoid her incredulous stare. "Besides, I warned that frat boy not to challenge Seven at shuffle board."

Across the aisle, a large man tried to fit his briefcase under the seat in front of him. While he was bent over, his posterior was within inches of Kathryn's face. She grimaced and said loudly, "Sit down, sir!" When he ignored her, she applied a two handed shove that sent the man sprawling into the laps of his travel companions. Kathryn ignored the protests from across the aisle and looked at Chakotay again. "All I'm saying is, next year, Tuvok will be planning our vacation."

"Next year, I'm going on vacation alone." Tuvok said grimly. Suddenly, they heard a sharp retort, like a shot from a gun, from the front of the plane.

"That must be Seven now," said Kathryn, trying to take cover by squirming down between the seats. Her efforts were hampered by Tuvok and Chakotay's similar attempts. "Scoot your big butt over Chakotay!" She hissed.

The former Borg strode precisely down the aisle. Her white "I ate the worm" t-shirt emphasized the lobster red color of her sunburned skin. Three frantic security officers pursued her at a cautious distance, stopping occasionally to squeeze off shots from their guns. The bullets careened randomly off Seven's personal Borg shields and whizzed through the plane. One passed through the window over Tuvok's head. "Damn!" He grumbled, hunkering down even further. "You can't take that woman anywhere!"

Ignoring the bullets and the screams of the other passengers, Seven stopped at the row in front of Kathryn's and examined her ticket carefully. "You are in my designated area." She said severely to the elderly woman seated there. "You must vacate that seat immediately."

"What- " The elderly woman stammered, cringing at the sound of another bullet ricocheting off Seven's force field. Seven sighed exaggeratedly, lifted the woman bodily from the seat and deposited her in the aisle. "The Borg have small bladders," Seven confided to the cowering passenger in the adjacent seat as she fastened her seat belt. "Anything but the aisle seat is unacceptable."

"Chakotay?" Kathryn said, attempting to tuck more of herself behind the chair as a bullet whistled by her ear. "About next year's vacation, are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

He raised the rim of his sombrero to look her in the eye and nodded his head slightly. Simultaneously, they blurted out, "Road Trip!"

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