Dear Baby Ribbon:

Why do the ponies have rain outfits if it never rains in Ponyland?

Megan, via email

Dear Megan,

Actually, I have a raincoat, and I wear it quite a lot.  It's great for splashing around under the Waterfall, and unsurpassed for protecting glorious shimmering red stripes of hair from the evils of the mad Jell-o fights that sometimes break out in Lullabye Nursery.

I do understand your question, though, and here's your answer:  Ponies just like clothes!  Clothes, clothes, clothes for any occasion, clothes for no occasion, clothes for giving clothes hangers something to do.  It's a girl thing.

I mean, think about it.  What do Little Ponies normally wear, apart from the ubiquitous ribbon required by tradition?  Well, not much.  Little Ponies' natural colors are too pretty to cover up!  This obvious fact, however, does not stop most of us from owning a closet full of clothes, hats, and shoes.  Even horseshoes!  Like somebody's going to put a nail in my foot without me applying the before-mentioned foot forcefully to his or her posterior!

To fully explore the topic of useless pony wear, I made the necessary journey to the bedroom closet of Heart Throb, the most notorious clothes horse (no pun intended) of us all.  Here is a tiny fraction, I repeat, tiny fraction of the absolutely useless pony clothing I discovered there:

     1.  A yellow polka-dot bikini (an itsy-bitsy-teeny-weeny one, nonetheless, as if wearing a bikini is that much 
          more daring than wearing nothing but a ribbon and a smile).

     2.  Three pairs of running shoes (uh, hello, she can fly, people).

     3.  A wedding gown (yeah RIGHT!  Have we considered the male/female ratio in Ponyland lately?).

     4.  A saddle and a bridle (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  *Ahem* Excuse me.  Just picturing Heart Throb 
          wearing a bridle).

     5.  A space suit (okay, okay.  Halloween).

     6.  A marching band uniform (it is, in fact, rather difficult to walk with four hooves and play a musical 
          instrument.  Even those who can get around fairly well on two hooves have issues with trumpet 
          stops and hooves).

     7.  A ski outfit (it does snow once in a blue moon, but there are not many ski slopes around).

     8.  A negligee (who, after wearing nothing all day, puts on something to go to bed?).

It happened that Heart Throb returned while I was going through her stu--eh, conducting my research; her only comment on the matter, however, was that I had better hang all these clothes up again when I was done.

What of this issue, then?  Silliness?  Frivolousness?  Gluttonous waste?  Naaah!  Clothes are fun!  And if clothes are fun, then more clothes are even more fun!   I mean really, do you wear every outfit in your closet?