Dear Baby Ribbon:

Why do some of the ponies (like Hip Holly) have really stupid names?

Katie

Dear Katie,

Now, now.  Those names aren't stupid.  They're just . . . creative.  Ahem.  Mommy, are you reading?

Most ponies are proud of their names, and names usually convey a sense of heritage (see Pony Names).  So many times, when you see one of those incredibly stupi--uh creative names, it signifies that pony's rich familial interworkings and showcases a proud genealogy.  In other words, don't blame Hip Holly, blame her mother.

It also provides hours of entertainment to think about the fact that 

      Dancing Butterflies sounds like a second-rate Indian princess out of a James Fenimore Cooper book.

      Speckes and Bunkie sound like frequenters of a British gentlemen's club in 1925.

      Dizzie Lizzie sounds like a Model T with the steering out.

      Tappy and Buttons and Yo-Yo sound like you're sending in the clowns.

      Shaggy is supposed to be on Scooby-Doo and Skippity Doo could be his cousin.

      Topper and Streaky sound like fighter pilots.

      Shady, Spunky, and Bright Eyes sound like mafia hoods.

      Bright Bramley and Brilliant Blossoms and Braided Beauty. . . separately only semi-tolerable; together, like, b-b-barf!

      Gusty and Puddles just do not do good things in my mind.

      Hula Hula? And to cap it off, her symbol is not remotely connected to even one hula, let alone two.

      Baby Sleepy Pie . . . oh yucky pie.

      And Snookums!  There are at least two ponies named Snookums!  If you have to reuse one, does it have to be Snookums??

      Splish, Splash, and Splosh.  Isn't that sickeningly cute?  Where's Sploosh?

     Not to even mention that Sugarberry, Cherry Treats, Sweet Stuff--wait a minute, what is this site supposed to be rated?  Never mind.  We won't go there.

Since I've already totally ruined this topic, I thought I'd share my thoughts on what would result if humans named their horses like My Little Ponies named their children.  Here are some My Little Pony-sounding names they might come up with:  Sourhay, Carrot Breath, Manure, Flies on Tail, Yellow Teeth, Funky Fertilizer, Oats 'n Apples, Chewing Funny, Grass Patties . . . well, you get the idea.  And for the grouping?  How about the Grim Reality Ponies, or the Smell-So-Real Ponies.  Or the Thank-The-Lord-They're-On-The-Other-Side-Of-The-Rainbow Ponies.

How did I get off on that?  Oh well.  I guess I'd better shut up!