Dear Baby Ribbon:

Why are there more girl ponies than boys?

Aubrey via email

Dear Aubrey:

Through elementary reasoning, one can discern that there are more girls than boys because, over the years, there have been more female baby ponies born than male baby ponies.  To investigate the matter further, I realized I had no alternative but to see the driving force behind it all, the head man himself -- none other than Mr. Stork.  Everyone knows that babies come from the stork, right?

When my mommy heard I was going to see the stork, she arched one eyebrow and said flatly, without looking up from her apple chopping, "You are a toddler. You're too young to have a baby, dear."  Oh brother, Mommy.  She didn't understand -- she thought I wanted to see the stork to get a baby!  I knew I would be pursuing my answer without maternal support.

Now the Stork, as everyone knows, lives high atop the mountain beyond the Waterfall, and, seeing as how I needed to answer this question in less than 8000 years, I elected to hitch a ride and fly to the top of the mountain rather than try to climb.

I asked Firefly, the most accomplished flying pony in Ponyland, to carry me to the top of the mountain beyond the Waterfall.  When she asked me why I wanted to go, I told her I needed to go see the Stork, just to ask him a question.  Firefly looked a little perturbed as she told me, "You're too young to have a baby, Baby Ribbon!"  Henceforth, finding a pegasus to take me to the mountain became almost impossible, because Firefly quickly spread the word that I was not to go see the Stork because I was too young to be having a baby.  Grown-ups are so dense, aren't they?

My fellow nursery-dwelling friends, however, rushed quickly and willingly to my aid, but babies are not as strong as the adults.  I felt somewhat chunky as we discovered that the only way I could be transported to the top of the mountain by baby pegasi was for Baby Surprise, Baby Bouncy, Baby Firefly, and Baby Lofty to each take one of my hooves and unceremoniously dangle me up to the summit.

Upon reaching our destination, my friends dumped me and then landed on an unusual cloud formation that was not unlike an office building.  Sitting at cloud-desks in cloud-chairs and working on cloud-computers were hundreds of storks!  My friends and I sat patiently in the cloud-waiting-room.  A pink flamingo receptionist peered over her desk and asked nasally, "May I help you?"

At that moment, obviously with no forethought as to how to phrase our purpose in a non-embarrassing manner, Baby Surprise pointed to me and blurted out, "She needs to see the Stork!"

The receptionist went back to her work.  "You're too young to have a baby, dear." 

That was it.  I was so sick of people saying that! I shouted at the flamingo, "I DON'T WANT TO HAVE A STUPID BABY!! I WANT TO KNOW WHY THERE ARE MORE GIRLS THAN BOYS IN PONYLAND!"

All typing ceased abruptly.  All milling came to a halt.  The storks standing around the water cooler stopped their conversation.  Across the entire cloud-complex there was complete and utter silence as all eyes fixed upon me and my very big mouth.

"Why do you want to know?" came a piping voice from the distance.  A rather unimposing-looking fairy with blue wings and blue hair hopped briskly between the rows of cloud-office-equipment. 

We understandably wanted to know who she was.  "Why," she laughed, "I'm the Stork, of course!" 

We were shocked to learn that the Fairies had bought out the baby business from the Stork years ago, but because he had handled his marketing and public relations so well, the Fairies found it most profitable to keep on his staff of storks for delivery duties and continue with the Stork name.  "After all," quipped the Stork Fairy, "Everyone knows that babies come from the stork!"

Although I was saddened by the dissolution of a well known myth, I continued on with my purpose and asked the Fairy my original question.

"Why are there more girls than boys?" she replied, "Well, most Little Pony mothers-to-be want a girl.  Moms like to have 
a little daughter to dress up in pretty clothes and fancy ribbons--"

"And brush their beautiful manes with beautiful red stripes," I added.

"Eh . . . right. Anyway, it was unheard of for Little Ponies to be boys until some innovative mom asked for a baby boy once.  That first little baby boy's name was Lucky, and there have been many boys since, but the general preference is still for a girl.  Sorry, we aren't discriminatory; we just fulfill other people's requests. And most Pony mommies want girls!"  With the question answered as much to my satisfaction as was possible, the friendly storks carried us all swiftly back to Paradise Estate. 

So, there you have it.  A somewhat professional answer to your question.  And not only did my friends and I discover why there are more girls than boys in Ponyland, we discovered that babies don't come from the stork anymore.  The latter revelation, I have decided, will remain confidential, chiefly because it sounds kind of silly for babies to come from the "baby fairy."