Tuxedo Mask vs Merlock Holmes

Aerie:  Today it's the battle of the mysterious, cane-wielding heroine stalkers!  In the red corner is that suave scout-magnet from Sailor Moon, Tuxedo Mask!

*There is a dramatic guitar riff as a single red rose strikes the arena floor.  The  spotlight falls on a point high in the stands, illuminating the rose-thrower, an overdressed gentleman in a mask that isn't really fooling anyone, except of course for the cast of Sailor Moon.  With an impossible jump he lands in the center of the arena with perfect form and bows chivalrously to the crowd.  The sailor scouts swoon. *

Phibrizzo:  And in the blue corner, Merlock Holmes, the fanged fancy lad from Flint the Time Detective.

* Not to be outdone, Merlock finds an even higher point for his dramatic entrance, meaning that he is currently hanging from a light fixture.  But alas, not for long.  He land ungraciously across the laps of the sailor scouts. * 

Merlock:  *_*v

* Merlock is tossed even less graciously into the arena.  Merlock picks himself up, tosses his hair, and dusts himself off and adjusts his stockings. *

Tuxedo Mask:  * Throws a rose at Merlock *  Fair maidens are to be cherished and protected, not squished by an uncouth scalawag such as yourself!

Merlock:  Call me an uncouth scalawag will you?!  CAPE WEDGIE!!

Aerie:  Oooh.  Brutal.  

Chibi-Usa:  He can't do that to Tuxedo Kamen-sama!

* Tuxedo Mask stumbles around the arena with his cape over his head. *

Merlock: Ha ha ha ha ha urk... * Merlock ascends to a new level of abject humiliation as he is knocked over by Tux's flailing cane. *

Bindi:  Oh no!  My poor Merlock!

Tuxedo Mask:  Urmpf mumble mumble (something unintelligible about the protection of dreams).  * as he pulls his cape off of his head * 

Phibrizzo:  Looks like Tux finally got his cape untangled.

Tuxedo Mask:  En guard!  * brandishes his cane at Merlock *

Merlock:  En guard!  * brandishes his cane at Tuxedo Mask *

Chibi-Usa:  Don't you dare hurt my Tuxedo Kamen-sama!  *jumps into the arena and viciously tackles Merlock*

Bindi:  Stay off of my Merlock you little pink bitch!  * flies into the arena and viciously tears into Chibi-Usa like a rabid wolverine *

Phibrizzo:  Cool!

Aerie:  We may have to declare the match void due to pink spore interference.

Chibi-Usa:  Moon Cosmic Power Make Up!  * transforms into the even-more-pink Sailor Chibi Moon *

Bindi: Oh yeah?! * transforms into the bombshell blonde Bindi Master *

Merlock:  * eyes nearly pop out of his head * Yowza!  

* Completely forgetting about the battle, Merlock grabs Bindi Master and runs off with her. *

winner - you decide